[CONTENTID1]Feelings[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Setting: Idol AU, mild angst || Notes: Idea slightly triggered by this picture[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]Jihoon pondered, eyes penetrating the light creamy wall in front of him. The softness of the hotel bed was pulling him deeper into his thought. Some images played in his mind and only centred on certain someone, or two.

It happened few hours earlier, when they’re waiting for the flight at Incheon airport. Seventeen was having an overseas schedule.

Jihoon was walking to get a seat after walking through the crowd of fans that had been waiting to send them off. His eyes caught two persons standing together to get a seat. The one guy in grey hoodie was going to sit as he talked to the other guy in black sweater. They were talking as the black sweater guy sat down, eyes crinkling in laughter.

Jihoon looked away and nonchalantly walking passed them as there’s an empty seat on the other side. While walking passed them, he captured few words from the grey hoodie guy.

“Gonna get same room again?”

Jihoon didn’t need to hear more than that so he just blocked anything and went to sit.

“Lee Jihoon!” Jihoon startled and turned. His roommate this time was placing hands on his hips, staring at Jihoon intensely. “What are you thinking?”

Jihoon blinked. “Ah, oh nothing. Why? Are you talking to me, Soonyoung ah?” Soonyoung huffed.

“Not that important but you’re completely out just now. Need a listener?” Jihoon just smiled and shook his head.

“It’s nothing, really. Don’t worry.” Soonyoung didn’t completely believe but he didn’t press on the matter further as he gave a grin.

“It’s a free time. Wanna go out and have some foods or anything?” Soonyoung asked. Jihoon looked at Soonyoung for a while before beaming.

“Why not?” Soonyoung beamed and quickly pulled Jihoon to get ready. The two unit leaders were getting ready pretty fast and a knock on their door making the two turned. Soonyoung had the courtesy to open it.

“Hey.”

“Oh, Seokmin. What’s up?”

“So, Seungkwan and I were thinking to go out but Cheol hyung is not here. So we’re informing you.” Soonyoung tilted his head.

“Eh? Where’s the other hyungs?”

“95-liner hyungs are missing together.” Seungkwan popped from the side. Soonyoung hummed.

“Where are you going? Jihoon and I are heading out as well.”

“We just want to stroll around.”

“Same.” Soonyoung turned inside. “Jihoon ah, Seokmin and Seungkwan are going out as well. Let’s go together?”

“Fine by me.” Jihoon said from inside. Soonyoung beamed and turned to the youngster.

“Wait up, I’m taking my jacket.” Soonyoung said. The two younger nodded. Soonyoung walked back and saw Jihoon already done. “Let’s go?” Soonyoung said as he took his jacket. Jihoon nodded.

The four guys walked out the hotel and threaded along the roadside. Seungkwan was looking for a place to eat while Soonyoung thought they should buy some souvenir for their family. Seokmin and Jihoon just followed them without a word. Decided by Soonyoung, they headed to find a souvenir shop first before eating. Soon, the four boys found the place and entered the store.

“Eh? Cheol hyung.” Seokmin called when he saw someone familiar. Jihoon unconsciously turned to the mentioned name.

“Oh, you guys.” Seungcheol noticed them and gave a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Just strolling around and wanted to find something for our family. Are you alone?” Seungkwan asked as they gathered closer. Jihoon laid his eyes on the stuff on display but ears were listening to them.

“Oh, I’m with…”

“Cheol! There you’re. You’re lost again, oh. Hey guys.” Jeonghan appeared beside Seungcheol. The younger greeted Jeonghan and Seungcheol placed his arm around Jeonghan’s shoulder casually, being the affectionate member he is. Jihoon noticed that at the corner of his eyes and the familiar dull aching hit his heart.

“Oh, you’re with Jeonghan hyung.” Soonyoung gave them a smile. “I see you already buy stuffs. Where are you heading after this?”

“Back to the hotel. We already ate.” Jeonghan answered.

“Oh, we’re eating after this. Meet at the hotel?” Seokmin said. Jeonghan beamed and patted Seokmin’s head.

“Well, yeah. Meet you at the hotel. Come on, Cheol.” Jeonghan said, tugging Seungcheol to follow. Seungcheol hummed and walked with Jeonghan, hand still on the shoulder. Jihoon glanced for a while before looking away, eyes feeling hot suddenly.

“Jihoon?” Jihoon startled when Soonyoung nudged him. “Come on?”

“Oh, sorry.” Jihoon gave a crooked smile as he followed the other three who were excited to start shopping. Jihoon’s mind wasn’t there. He thought going out could be a distraction but unlucky for him to encounter them outside. Jihoon cursed his luck.

The four guys ended their shopping after Seungkwan got the item he wanted to buy for his sister and Jihoon opted not to buy anything as he didn’t have the mood. Soonyoung noticed the changes in Jihoon’s mood but he couldn’t ask because they’re not alone.

“I don’t feel like eating. You guys go ahead, I’m going to return to the hotel.” Jihoon said suddenly when they’re discussing about the place. Seungkwan was about to call Jihoon when the smaller guy walked away. Soonyoung took a breath.

“Erm, guys. You just go together, I’m going to catch up with Jihoonie.” Soonyoung said and also left. Seokmin and Seungkwan looked at each other dumbfounded before shrugging and deciding the restaurant they should go.

Jihoon walked aimlessly, not even on the direction to their hotel. He walked with mind was everywhere, not really noticing his legs were bringing him far from the hotel.

“Jihoon! Watch out!” Jihoon heard the voice called him in urgency but he couldn’t collect what was happening. All he knew, he was pulled back and a motorcycle passed him so fast. “What are you doing? Didn’t you see that?” Jihoon blinked, staring blankly. He knew it was a familiar voice but he suddenly couldn’t recall. “Jihoon? Hey, oh my god.”

Soonyoung startled when the blank faced Jihoon suddenly burst in tears. The smaller boy trembled in his hold, sobbing. Soonyoung pulled Jihoon into a hug and patted his back. Jihoon clutched onto Soonyoung, not really noticing what he was doing.

“Where you two have been?”

After the incident, Soonyoung brought Jihoon to have some relaxing time in a café. He didn’t ask what happen knowing Jihoon won’t talk unless he wanted too. Jihoon was thankful for that and pondered alone while waiting for his puffy red eyes back to normal. Spending quite some time and that made them returned to their hotel quite late; the two were greeted by Seungcheol who was waiting for them in front of their room.

“Oh, we’re chatting while having coffee and didn’t realize it was very late. Sorry hyung.” Soonyoung answered when Jihoon chose to stay silent and likely was ignoring Seungcheol as the producer unlocked their room. Seungcheol frowned to that silent and caught Jihoon’s wrist before the smaller entered the room. Soonyoung just watched.

“Jihoon?”

“What?” Jihoon didn’t intended to sharpen his tone but it came out without thinking. Seungcheol startled.

“Wait. Why you are-”

“I’m tired. I’m sorry, like Soonyoung said, we didn’t notice the time. So… could you please let me rest?” Jihoon said with a sigh and pulled his wrist away from Seungcheol’s grip. The leader startled and was dumbfounded when Jihoon brushed him off just like that. Soonyoung looked at Seungcheol.

“Hyung, sorry about Jihoon. He somehow had a bad day.”

Seungcheol looked at Soonyoung, an unreadable gaze. “Huh? What happened?” Soonyoung shook his head.

“I don’t know, hyung. He didn’t tell.” Seungcheol exhaled.

“Okay… I will just ask him tomorrow. Rest well, night.” Soonyoung nodded and bade him goodnight as well. The performance leader walked into the room and found Jihoon on the bed, head in pillow.

“Jihoon? You don’t want to wash up? That’s-”

“You can go first, I want to lie down a bit.” Soonyoung blinked.

“Uh, oh okay.” Soonyoung took off his shirt and got into the bathroom to wash up. Once the door closed, Jihoon rolled onto his back.

‘Why I become a mess like this?’ Jihoon sighed as he stared the ceiling. He fell into another thought, trying to grasp why he turned into a mess as of lately. He had been keeping away the feelings for so long, ignoring and suppressing it within himself. But why lately he was too sensitive, to even become a crying mess?

“Jihoon?” The smaller guy stiffened when he recognized the voice. He didn’t need to turn to look because he knew by heart who was it. Jihoon tried not to feel when an arm draped over his shoulder.

“Hi, hyung.” Jihoon greeted normally. A smile was given and Jihoon denied his focus on the lips.

“Feeling better?” Jihoon hummed.

“Sleep was great.” Lie. Jihoon mocked himself inside. “How about you, Cheol hyung?”

“Just nice.” Seungcheol rubbed his palm over Jihoon’s forearm. Jihoon stiffened slightly. “So, wanna share why you’re so down yesterday?” Jihoon blinked.

“Oh, I just need some rest, nothing more.” Seungcheol pulled Jihoon to stop. Jihoon avoided looking at Seungcheol.

“Are you sure?” Jihoon nodded. “Look at me and say it properly. I’m not gonna believe you when you’re avoiding my gaze.” Jihoon bit his lips and with a slow beat, looked up to Seungcheol. Jihoon gave a crooked smile.

“I’m fine, there’s nothing.” Jihoon said. Luck was on his side when someone called his name which made Seungcheol stopped questioning. “Let’s go, they’re calling. We need to get food fast so we won’t miss our flight home.”

Seungcheol hummed. “Okay.”

Jihoon walked away with Seungcheol towing behind. The smaller knew that leader didn’t fully believe him so he wanted to get away faster before he said something he shouldn’t. Once they met the rest of the members at the dining hall, Jihoon quickly fled away to join Seokmin and Soonyoung. Seungcheol looked a bit sad but then he made his own way to his 95-liner gang. Seokmin already picked up his food so he went to reserve a place for three of them while Soonyoung and Jihoon made a round the buffet table to get their own food.

“You… talk with hyung?” Jihoon glanced at Soonyoung.

“What?” Soonyoung made a signal with his body language, pointing at Seungcheol. “Nothing much, just greeting. Why?”

“Erm, well. Hyung was a bit worried after last night. You’re suddenly snapped at him.”

“That wasn’t intentional. I told him and that’s it.” Soonyoung hummed.

“Oh, okay.”

Those thirteen boys finished their lunch and then were ushered to get moving as they had flight to catch. Travelling in two vans, Jihoon was unlucky to be thrown into a van with 95 and 98-liner. Even more unlucky when he was sitting next to Seungcheol with Jeonghan on the other side.

“Shua yah.” Jeonghan turned to the back, to Jisoo who was sitting with Hansol. Jisoo looked at him. “My throat is dry. Do you have some tea or any soothing drink?” Jeonghan asked. Jisoo looked through his bag and passed a tumbler. Seungcheol smiled.

“Great to have you as a saver.” Seungcheol said and reached to ruffle Jisoo’s hair. Jisoo pouted.

“Yah, don’t mess my hair even more.” Seungcheol laughed. Hansol shook his head watching them.

Jeonghan returned the tumbler to Jisoo and pinched Seungcheol’s cheek. Seungcheol whined. “Yah.”

“Revenge for Shua.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes and went to get revenge on Jeonghan. The two were happily playing around with Jisoo chuckling and Hansol just shook his head watching them.

Jihoon ignored them as he plugged earphones to block all the noises, the dull ache in his heart. He wanted to disconnect with the reality happened beside him, so he closed his eyes listening to the music. But when he thought he got the space for his own, a hand went crossing his front and pulled one of the earphones from him. Jihoon opened his eyes and noticed Seungcheol was wearing the earphone. Seungcheol noticed Jihoon was looking. “I got low battery and Mingyu borrowed my external battery. It could be fine right to share some songs with me?” Seungcheol gave a smile that made Jihoon’s heart jumped. Jihoon chose not to say anything and looked away. Seungcheol just smiled to the reaction and leaned back properly, enjoying the song from Jihoon’s phone. They had a similar taste somehow and Seungcheol felt like he was listening to his own playlist.

Jihoon jerked when he heard a familiar tune and quickly pulled his phone to stop the song. Seungcheol frowned when he noticed the action and looked at Jihoon. “What’s wrong?” Jihoon blinked few times before his finger smoothly pressed next button.

“No- nothing.” Seungcheol grew suspicious and tried to steal the phone. Jihoon flinched away, guarding his phone from Seungcheol. The movement made other members in the same van, except Seungkwan who was sleeping next to the driver, turned their attention to the two.

“What’s up?” Hansol asked.

“Yeah, what game you played?” Jeonghan added.

Jihoon was flustered. “No, nothing.” He tried not to be obvious but Seungcheol didn’t want to dismiss this thing as he was triggered to know what made Jihoon moved too fast. And somehow, he was kind of familiar with the melody earlier, even it’s very short.

“Jihoon is hiding something so I wanna see.”

“Oh, really? Do you need help? Because I’m dying to know?” Jeonghan said. Seungcheol shook his head.

“No, this is between us.” Jihoon stiffened to the answer. Those were simple words but made things happened in his heart. For that distraction, Seungcheol managed to get his phone. Jihoon startled and tried to get it back but Seungcheol was faster as he hit previous button and held the phone away from Jihoon. Jihoon bit his lips, hiding his face away. Seungcheol stiffened as the earphones blasted with a very, very familiar voice. Jihoon could feel heat was spreading his face and he wished there’s a hole could swallow him right then.