[CONTENTID1]Lyrical story of us - by Woozi[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Setting: Idol AU || Notes: Erm, this come out because I listen to this fanedit (by @oozicle on twitter) nonstop and I need to write it down. I didn't read it back but enjoy~[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]15 years later, 2031

“Jihoonie. The reporters are waiting.” Jihoon looked up from staring at his treasured notebook. It had been almost two decades of him owning it. The small 35 years old male smiled at the black haired male at his studio door.

“I’m coming, Soonyoungie.” The black haired nodded and left. Jihoon let his eyes fall on the notebook again and settled it on the table, separated from the messy of lyric sheets. He would never mess it together afraid that the notebook will be missing. It was precious, too precious for him. It held his dear hidden self, his true and raw emotion. The one place he poured his feelings by scribbling words that turned a verse and then become a song, just for that certain someone who owned his heart. Since the first time they knew each other even until now and will be forever.

Stepping towards the door, he glanced at the table again and gave a soft smile. Making sure he locked his studio well, he walked to the meeting hall where the reporters were waiting for him. Along the way, he was reminiscing the past.

6 years ago, 2010

“Annyeonghaseyo.” The petite boy bowed before few other boys in front of him. “I’m Lee Jihoon born in 1996 from Busan. Nice to meet you.” The voice was small but in confident. The man beside the petite boy patted the shoulder.

“They’re going to be your teammates. You guys are going to train together until we fix your debut.” Jihoon nodded in understanding. The man left as the boys greeted him goodbye politely. Jihoon shifted in awkwardness. One of the boys approached him as the rest looked not very interested.

“You’re Jihoon, nice to meet you. I’m Choi Seungcheol, a year hyung for you.” The boy handed out his hand. Jihoon looked up and caught off guard by the clear eyes and cute smile. “It’s okay to talk with your accent among us, just don’t do too much afraid that we don’t understand. I’m from Daegu. And just call me hyung.” Jihoon snapped from his own bubble and took the kind hand.

“Nice to meet you, Seungcheol- hyung.” Jihoon felt electrocuted by the smile and the slight touch. For the first time in his life, he felt something amazing. And at that moment, he didn’t know what it was called. He didn’t know he ended up falling in love with the first friend he made in his new life as a trainee.

3 years ago, 2013

“Jihoon, I want Jihoonie.” The eldest member pulled Jihoon forward. Jihoon rolled his eyes, gaping unwillingly forward. He didn’t like skinship and that certain eldest member who is also his stupid best friend knew that. He knew that stupid just wanted to again. Jihoon hated the fact that his heartbeat was drumming at the moment the members playfully cupping his eyes. Jihoon couldn’t make whose hands were those but for sure he heard his small eyed best friend behind him. He bet his stupid best friend was next to him as he could smell that musky scent only belonged to him.

Jihoon got tired of it and squirmed, pushing all the hands around him screaming. Laughter was erupted in the green practice room. The petite guy was trying to get away. “What is this? Stop, gosh.” Jihoon groaned, frozen smile on his face as he looked at the member. His stupid best friend pulled his arm to get closer again.

“MC nim?”

“Please kiss.” The female voice rang and Jihoon groaned internally when his heartbeat wasn’t going back to normal. The rough yet strong hands grabbed his face. ‘Ugh.’

“Look at me.” Cringing, Jihoon just laughed it awkwardly. The members were looking and teasing them. Jihoon closed his eyes can’t bear the sight of his stupid best friend. Feeling his lips were squished by the palm on his cheek, Jihoon could felt the light touch on the tip of lips that he knew it belonged to his best friend. ‘Damn stupid.’

The members cringed and cheered while Jihoon moved back, head was still dizzy from the light contact. It wasn’t a proper kiss or even peck. It wasn’t much but Jihoon felt his inside bubbled up and he knew he needs to control his cheeks from blushing. They’re recording currently, he still remembered that fact.

He glanced towards his best friend and he caught the awkward yet satisfied smile. Jihoon cursed internally with frozen awkward smile on his face. ‘Stop messing with me, Choi Seungcheol.’

눈 앞에 보이는 니 모든걸                                    All of you that I see
다 아끼고 싶어 그냥                                           I want to cherish it
(20 - 17Carat)

It was another day when suddenly the eldest member shouted something to announce. Jihoon was having a blank face, didn’t know what his stupid best friend got in his head. They were supposed to clean after the game and others were working while enjoying their time. Jihoon pointed to his side when he felt a presence and laughed to Seokmin’s lame gag just to ignore his embarrassed heart from the arm that thrown over his shoulder. Putting down Jihoon’s hand, the eldest ignored Seokmin’s gag. “This year, 2013, on the month of October, the two of us are getting married.” Jihoon widened his eyes.

The female MC asked for confirmation once again. “Yeap, we’re getting married.” Jihoon felt blessed by his good control of emotion after so long being with his stupid best friend. He managed to just put an act when his heart was again thumping like hell. Jihoon laughed when Seokmin was cracking with some gags, again.

“Who is the bride, Seungcheol ah?” The female MC asked and the eldest pointed to Jihoon. Once again, Jihoon thanked God that he had a quick reflex on controlling his face. The tall puppy came closer and suddenly insisted of family picture. Jihoon moved away swiftly to laugh when his best friend said the tall Mingyu was their father, but the truth was he needed some air to continue his façade. Someone called up this as makjang drama and they’re giggling. Everything started to get messy when Mingyu pulled over their beloved youngest Samuel into the picture.

Jihoon was swiftly walking out from the camera while they’re focusing on Seokmin’s stupid act. Jihoon was glad the topic was going away so he stayed back, collecting his normal heartbeat.

The female MC suddenly threw a question when they’re relaxing in front of the camera. “Can you let us know the family relation among you guys?” Everybody was blinked and the eldest stood up, volunteering himself.

“I will explain. Me and…”

“Where’s your wife?” The female MC grinned behind the camera. The eldest looked around.

“Wifey? Yeobo?!” Jihoon choked his spit, face-palming. He tried to look away but a hand grabbed his and he bit his lips secretly. Jihoon was pulled forward. The amusing new scene for this makjang became larger when his small eyed best friend claimed himself as a wife. Jihoon looked down, blushing lightly when Seungcheol held his hand tighter. They went on the topic about makjang before it was a silence. Seungcheol took his hand again. Jihoon tried hard not to blush or react to the touch. Seungcheol was introducing the family tree finally without disruption. They’re laughing together to the ridiculousness and Jihoon decided to be playful with Seokmin in order to hide his feelings. Somehow, being pressed closed to Seungcheol and the hand lingered on his thigh made him feeling things.

“When is the wedding?” The female MC suddenly asked when they’re talking to each other.

“Ah, I’m going to announce our marriage.” Seungcheol casually held Jihoon’s hand and the smaller tried not to flinch to the touch. “This year, 2013, on 19th of October, around 3 in the afternoon…” Mingyu was adding a word to Seungcheol’s statement and they laughed.

“What do you like about your wife?” Jihoon laid back somehow expected something from that when he knew he shouldn’t.

“Starting from head to the toes, I like it!” Seungcheol said and they started to sing a song, making a pun from Seungcheol’s line. Jihoon turned away, biting his lips while the members were so done with that sudden makjang. With silence agreement, they decided to stop the drama. Jihoon was glad because he can’t really focus anymore after Seungcheol’s last word. They were back to clean. Jihoon’s heart stuttered when suddenly he felt the familiar rough hand held his.

“What-” Jihoon blushed when he saw his stupid best friend was on his knee with a toy ring in his hand. Seungcheol looked up grinning and put the ring. Jihoon’s heart warmed and stuttered, fluttering in a weird way. Seungcheol got up.

“We’re going to marry!” Seungcheol’s attic earned the laugh and Seungkwan called out from the side.

“Stop the drama, hyung. Help to clean!” Seungcheol just laughed and helped the rest to clean, leaving the flustered Jihoon. Jihoon stared at his hand. The ring. He bit his lips. On that moment, he finally saw it clearly. That he was doomed when his heart ached for the fact that this is just an act.

어떡해 아 머리 속에 가득                                    What do I do? My head is filled
할말이 많은데                                                   with things I wanna say
누가 대신 말 좀 해줘                                          Can someone say them for me?
(Mansae - Boys Be)

More than a year ago, 2015

“I’m tired. That’s it.” Jihoon messed his long yellow blonde. He glanced tiredly at the male behind him. “Please Cheol hyung, just leave me alone for now. I will end up yelling at you if we continued.” Jihoon rubbed his temple taking off his headphones. The leader was gripping the lyrics sheet in his hand, controlling his anger.

“You have changed. So much.” Jihoon stiffened. The leader walked out from the studio leaving Jihoon all alone. The last word kept replaying in his head and Jihoon felt tears welling up. He didn’t mind because he knew no one would dare to come in after he had scolded almost all of them when they’re practicing and singing in front of him for the song he wrote for the group, Shining Diamond. Jihoon cried silently.

Letting few moments for himself pouring the tears out, Jihoon leaned his back in exhaustion. His eyes were red and puffy. Tears were drying but he was still hurt and sore. Gulping and sniffling, Jihoon trailed his eyes on the notebook he had kept hidden nicely in a drawer. Jihoon reached it; A4-sized not-so-thin-and-not-so-thick dark blue notebook is in his grip. He had it since one or two years, he can’t remember exactly but he treasured this one notebook. Because it was given by his number one supporter, his mother.

‘I know my son always write stuff on those gadgets but I just want you to know that I’m very happy seeing you worked hard for something you loved. This book is as a reminder for you not to lose your beginning, Jihoon ah.’ Jihoon always remembered his mother’s advice. He even wrote down the advice on the first page. And to this notebook, Jihoon poured his deepest feeling whenever he felt he needed to write or he had too many thoughts that he didn’t want to share with others. He didn’t want to burden s because he knew they’re having some hard times too. Thus, Jihoon decided to close his world and pretending. He noticed he had withdrawn so much from s, moreover his two best friends. But they’re a unit leader like him and Jihoon didn’t feel right to confine in them. Plus he wouldn’t dare to open his hidden feelings to anybody.

Jihoon opened the next page. He was writing into this quite a bunch lately. It wasn’t neatly arranged, at times Jihoon just randomly scribbled on the empty space of a used page. Even though he could just write a whole paragraph like a story, he ended up most of the time written a line or a verse of lyric about his feelings. There’s no melody in his head while he wrote, it’s just a pure word. Jihoon grabbed a pencil and the lead started to dance. He wrote the line of his sadness.

둘이서 함께 걷던 너와 날                                    When you and I used to walk together
이젠 찾을 수 없어                                              I can’t find it any more  
(Fast pace - Going Seventeen)

Jihoon burst in tears. This is the first time he ever did in front of someone. The memories flooded into his mind by the each word leaving Seungcheol’s lips. He swarmed through his thought, silently seeing of why he withdrawn himself in the blur moment. Of why he chose not to say anything about his stress, of why he spent his time inside of his studio, of why and how he slowly forgot.

“I think you’re special and I know you think I’m special too.” Jihoon bit his lips. Hyung, we didn’t hold the same meaning of special. But Jihoon chose to stay silent. He could see the breaking point in the future if he didn’t try to stop running away from the root of his problem. His feelings.

Jihoon felt some more tears trying to pour out once he engulfed by the arms of the leader. But he forced himself to stop. To stop feeling. The interview done and Jihoon noticed Seungcheol was looking at him. “I’m sincere, Jihoon ah. I want us to be back like before.” Seungcheol said, looking down. Jihoon looked up to the elder.

“We… need times to try it again.” Jihoon said with his voice cracked. Seungcheol looked up. Jihoon gave a little smile. “Step by step.” Seungcheol nodded. “I’m sorry for all my hurting words to you.”

“I hurt you more. I’m sorry. I’m not being a good leader…” Jihoon shook his head.

“You’re just fine hyung.” Jihoon sniffled. “You’re a good leader.” Jihoon gave a smile and Seungcheol smiled back. Jihoon felt his heart quickened but he ignored. He wanted to stop feeling for the sake of their future. He wanted Seventeen to be successful, there’s thirteen future depended on it. And he didn’t want because of his stupidity it will be blocking the success. Jihoon took a breath and promised to himself.

That night he wrote something again in his precious notebook.

함께라서 웃을 수 있고                                        Because we’re together, I’m able to smile
너라서 울 수도 있어                                           And because it’s you, I’m able to cry
그렇게라도 못할 게 어딨어                                 Like this, how could there be anything I can’t do
Even if it’s about forgetting you*
(Laughter - Going Seventeen)

Exactly a year ago, 2015

“Oh gosh, Jihoon.” Jihoon startled when Jisoo hugged him. “This song is just so heart-breaking.”

“Is it okay thou?” Jisoo nodded.

“Perfect.” Jisoo stared at the lyric sheet. “Jihoonie… these lyrics…” Jihoon smiled softly.

“I wrote this long ago, I can’t remember. I just found the draft of its lyric again today and finish it off.” Jisoo stared at Jihoon, taking the younger’s hands in his. Jihoon blinked.

“Don’t carry your burden alone okay? You can always talk to others. I’m here, Seungcheol too. There’s other members, don’t ever forget, okay?” Jihoon nodded, warmed by Jisoo’s concern and ignored a name that came along in it. The producer patted Jisoo’s shoulder, looking at the lyric sheets in Jisoo’s hand.

“Don’t worry, Shua hyung. This is mostly from the past, this feeling. I know how to overcome this. Don’t worry.” Jisoo nodded.

“You will submit this song right?” Jihoon shrugged.

“I don’t know yet, I just need someone to hear it and you’re somehow here.” Jisoo chuckled lightly.

“Jihoon…” Jihoon looked at the elder. “Perform it on the concert.”

Jisoo had left after he suggested the idea to Jihoon as he needed to catch his vocal lesson. Jihoon told Jisoo he would think of it because he didn’t know about it yet. He was left alone in his studio. His eyes pasted on his monitor, his newest song was playing at the background as he was thinking. His first solo song.

Jihoon reached for the notebook again. He did lie to Jisoo a little bit. He just wrote and worked on it today after he wrote a verse on his notebook last night. He fought a bit with Seungcheol but it wasn’t big as the argument didn’t last long. He had met Seungcheol earlier, apologizing and they’re fine again. But there’s still bitterness in his heart when he remembered the issue they’re clashing last night.

“I just wish for a little happiness from going out with her. Why you’re so worked up on it?” Seungcheol said in hushed tone but firmly angry. Jihoon sighed.

“Hyung, I know you’re happy. But think of the consequence before you do something. You might get caught. At least be clever if you want to date. We’re still new; the boss could stop supporting us if you create issue even though we’re making money from the bankruptcy. You’re the leader, you should know better.” Jihoon said, sighing. Seungcheol huffed.

“You’re just jealous of my happiness.” Seungcheol stomped away and left. Jihoon exhaled. He felt bitter. He wanted that happiness too, yeah maybe Seungcheol is true that he’s jealous. But do even people like them deserve the real happiness? Or even does he deserve happiness when he stopped himself from feeling anything?

행복은 그냥 말만 있는 거고                                 Happiness is only a word
모두가 원하는 Dream일뿐이라고                          It’s just a dream that everyone wants
말도 안 되는 얘긴걸 yeah                                   But that doesn’t make sense
믿고 싶지도 않아서 yeah                                    I don’t even wanna believe that
(Simple - Love&Letter Repackage)

Ten month ago, 2016

Jihoon heard claps and turned. Soonyoung was leaning against the door. The small producer didn’t realize since when his small-eyed best friend stood there. “Why you’re here Soonyoung?”

“Oh, I think we should grab dinner. You have been in here practicing for four hours, your voice could break. And our unit decided to take a break right now. So, dinner?” Jihoon huffed, suddenly feeling hungry.

“Okay.” Jihoon plugged off his phone from the speaker and tidied up his stuff into his bag. He checked all the stuffs and walked towards Soonyoung. They’re leaving the practice room.

“Where’s your team?”

“They went first.” Soonyoung said shortly. They walked on the road side by side. “So, it was a good song. I can’t believe you’re still hiding it from us all.” Jihoon blushed.

“Because I think it’s not good… it was rejected before thou.” Soonyoung pouted, knowing about the story where Jihoon actually sent the song to be included in their concert on Christmas but didn’t go well as Jihoon was asked to fix few stuffs and he didn’t get enough time to do it before concert. So the management agreed to include it in the next project, which happened to be their concert on Valentine Day soon.

“But it’s perfect now. And I hate the fact you let Joshua hyung listened it first not me.” Jihoon scoffed.

“I told you about that already right?” Soonyoung sighed.

“Okay.” Jihoon shook his head and diverted the conversation to other topics. Soonyoung suddenly remembered something. “Oh, right.” Jihoon glanced at Soonyoung who paused for long. “I think Seungcheol hyung is stressed about something.”

“Huh?”

“Well, Jeonghan hyung already tried to talk with him. Me too, but he refused and said he’s fine… and I think your help is needed.” Jihoon wrinkled.

“Soonyoung, you know Cheol hyung and I-”

“I know, I know you guys didn’t talk much or converse in deep lately. I dunno what happened but really Jihoon, we need your help. The stress is eating him. We all can see.” Jihoon exhaled. He had noticed Seungcheol changed a bit lately but he was afraid to ask. They’re in good term but they had never share stuff anymore since their second mini album promotion was done, they had a big fight that time just because of Jihoon’s stupid thought and Seungcheol’s quick temper. The best friend had drifted apart and Seungcheol confined in Jeonghan ever since the fight.

Jihoon sighed when Soonyoung was still waiting for his answer. “I will try.”

He said that and he did – even not so voluntarily when Soonyoung set him up. “Hyung.” Jihoon could see the other jumped slightly to the sudden voice. He didn’t notice someone was coming in. He turned and quite startled seeing Jihoon at the door. Jihoon noticed the leader looked miserable. “Can we talk?” Seungcheol blinked.

“Oh, sure. Come in.” Seungcheol set the papers he was holding on the small table in the small room that they mostly used to have a singing practice or writing lyric alone without disruption. Jihoon tried to glance at the paper but Seungcheol put it faced down so he couldn’t guess what it was. “What’s up?” Seungcheol tried to casually ask. The tension was there but Jihoon knew it was lighter than usual. He noticed the elder seemed relax now.

“The boys are worried.” Seungcheol looked at Jihoon. “Soonyoung mostly. He said you’re stressed and Jeonghan hyung already ask you but you don’t tell. So… yeah, Soonyoung sent me.” Seungcheol blinked.

“Oh.” Seungcheol made that sound and exhaled. “It’s nothing really.”

“I won’t force you to talk but Soonyoung is really worried about you.” Jihoon paused. “Erm, well you can tell or show him you’re fine.” Jihoon played with his fingers.

Seungcheol watched Jihoon for a while. The smaller felt the stare but he was afraid to look. He didn’t know why. He didn’t know what to say and suddenly the room felt suffocating. Can’t bear the growing tension, Jihoon took a breath. “I will be going then. Just don’t keep burdens to yourself. Soonyoung is worried.” Jihoon muttered. I will be worried too.

Jihoon was about to open the door when Seungcheol called his name. “Jihoonie.” Jihoon gulped and turned. Seungcheol