Feelings

You Make My Life Colorful

Jimin blinked awake in the darkness. What time is it? Jimin turned to look at the clock, which displayed 3:24 am. He turned to his left and almost screamed out loud at his and Suga's close proximity. Jimin looked down to see that Suga was spooning him, clinging onto his chest tightly. He awkwardly scooted away, but Suga scooted, chasing after him. Jimin swallowed and scooted away even more, and Suga whimpered back, trying to hold him closer. 

"Jiminie," Suga whispered, his breath hitting Jimin's neck.

Jimin's eyes widened, "Hyung, are you awake?"

Jimin waited for a response, but didn't Suga didn't say anything back. Jimin turned around so that he was facing Suga and saw that he was still sleeping soundly. He sighed in defeat and Suga smiled in his sleep, almost taunting him. Jimin examined Suga's face for the second time. Yeah, watching movies with his best friend was fun, but this was definitely Jimin's favorite part of their sleepovers.

Jimin shamelessly stared at Suga's face, knowing there was no way that he would wake up at that moment. Suga looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. A soft smile graced his face, his hair fell over his closed eyes, and Suga's possessive grip around Jimin's back drove him crazy. Jimin sighed in content, closed his eyes, and allowed himself to drift off to sleep. 

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

Suga blinked awake and his eyes widened when he saw Jimin's face, which was merely centimeters away from his own. He slowly pulled his arms away from Jimin and moved back to his mattress. Jimin whined as he felt the cold air hit his back and his eyes fluttered open. He looked at the clock next to him, which displayed 6:58 am.

He smiled drowsily at Suga, "Good morning, hyung. Did you sleep well last night?" Jimin smiled wider at himself. Of course, you slept well, hyung.

"Good morning. I slept well, what about you?" Suga asked shyly.

"I slept well. Why are you down there?" Jimin asked with caution.

"I felt bad that I was taking up all of your bed space," Suga lied.

"Oh, it's okay, hyung," Jimin murmured softly. "We should get ready for school."

They quickly brushed their teeth, and Suga remembered something. Crap, I forgot to bring clothes. "Jiminie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any extra clothes?" Suga asked, his face flushed. "I didn't bring any last night."

"Sure, wait here." Jimin quickly returned with a striped shirt and dark jeans and handed them to Suga.

Suga immediately recognized the outfit and chuckled to himself. He held the outfit up and asked, "Jimin, did you actually go back and buy the outfit from the city?"

Jimin's face darkened a bit and he nodded, "Yeah. You said you liked it, so I bought it. It wasn't too expensive, so I got it."

Suga smiled, then tossed the shirt and pants towards Jimin, who successfully caught it. "You should wear it. You would look better."

Jimin sensed the atmosphere tensed up a bit, and he tried to lighten the mood. "Hyung~ are you flirting with me?"

But Jimin's efforts failed immensely. Over time, Jimin had memorized Suga's usual reaction: a disgusted expression followed by Suga shouting, 'Ew, no!' then giving an excuse. But instead of the said reaction, Suga looked down, his cheeks darkened ever so slightly and said, "Sorry."

Jimin's eyes widened and he said, "I-I was just kidding, hyung."

Suga stiffened and mumbled, "Oh, sorry."

They both quickly changed and headed to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Shortly after, Jimin's father emerged from his bedroom, dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. He walked towards the boys and asked, "Good morning, Jimin and Yoongi-ssi. Are you two ready to get going?"

They both nodded and exited Jimin's house. The ride to school was awkward, and Jimin's dad didn't try to do anything to change that. They arrived at the campus a few moments later, and were greeted by Jin, Namjoon, and Jungkook. 

"Hello, hyungs!" Jungkook chirped happily. 

"Hi, Jungkookie," Jimin smiled, ruffling his hair. Suga frowned slightly and Jimin turned and ruffled his hair with a wide smile. 

Namjoon stepped back and examined Suga's outfit. A few seconds later, he asked, "Suga-hyung, are you wearing Jimin's clothes?"

"Yeah. Do I look weird?"

"Since when were you two together? And more importantly, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" Namjoon asked excitedly. But before he allowed them to answer, he quickly pulled them in for a hug and said, "Congrats anyway. But I didn't know you two were moving so quickly! I mean, hyung, you're wearing Jimin's clothes!" Namjoon then leaned in to whisper into their ears, "So, tell me. Who topped?"

Suga quickly pushed him away and contorted his face in disgust and yelled, "YAH! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

Namjoon facepalmed, "I'm sorry." Suga and Jimin smiled in satisfaction. That feeling ended when Namjoon said, "I guess it is pretty obvious isn't it? Of course Suga-hyung topped. Sorry for asking."

Jimin sighed, exasperated, and Suga punched Namjoon in the arm. Namjoon shouted in pain, and the rest of the boys laughed. Shortly after, J-Hope and Taehyung joined the group, their lips dark and swollen.

Suga's eyes widened and he cringed slightly at them, "Woah, what happened to you two?" Although they all already knew exactly what happened.

J-Hope smiled sheepishly at the group, "Sorry guys. Tae and I got a bit carried away earlier."

Taehyung whined, "Hyung...don't tell them that."

The group laughed at the couple. Jungkook's left eye twitched in annoyance, which thankfully went unnoticed. 

J-Hope hugged Taehyung and snuggled into his neck, "You know I love you, right?"

Taehyung giggled back, "Yes, I know, hyung." He couldn't help but feel guilty. He knew J-Hope loved him, but he couldn't bring himself to love him back. J-Hope kissed his cheek, and Taehyung swore that he saw Jungkook's eyes dull a bit. He missed hanging out with Jungkook. A lot. Maybe a bit too much. Although he had plans with his boyfriend, he wanted to at least invite Jungkook to tag along. "Kookie, J-Hope and I are going to grab ice cream tonight. Want to come with us?" 

Jungkook, on the other hand, was fuming. He hated how J-Hope and Taehyung were affectionate in front of him. He hated how Taehyung couldn't spend time with him anymore because of his dates with J-Hope, which pretty much happened everyday. He hated how he had to be the perfect friend, supporting their relationship, despite his true feelings that he was forced to conceal. But at that moment, Jungkook just couldn't stand it. Although he had a sweet smile on his face, his mouth spewed sour words, "No thanks, hyung. I don't feel like being your third-wheel today." And with that, he left to go to his first class of the day, leaving the rest of the group speechless. 

Jin looked down. Even though the words weren't directed at him, they made him feel so small. He couldn't even imagine how hurt Jungkook must've been to say something like that. Jimin, Suga, Namjoon, and J-Hope looked at each other, confused. The youngest kept sending mixed signals; he would be completely happy one minute, and storming off the next.

Taehyung went completely limp, his feelings hurt. He stared at Jungkook in the distance with a million thoughts racing in his head. Does he really think that I'm trying to ignore him? Is he really angry at me, or is he just hurt? Will he avoid me like this all the time? Does he hate me? Taehyung felt his eyes stinging and he snapped out of his daze and found his vision to be completely blurred. Nonono, I can't cry now. Not in front of the group. He forced the tears back into his eyes and excused himself, "Hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

The rest of the group of too distracted by Jungkook to notice Taehyung's teary gaze. But Jin, who knew exactly why Jungkook left, was watching for Taehyung's reaction. Jin knew that Jungkook was probably beating himself up over his little fit, so he decided to go find him. "I'm going to find Jungkook. I'll see you guys later."

Namjoon grabbed Jin's wrist as he was walking, "Hyung, you should leave him alone. He needs some time to cool off."

Jin roughly pulled his arm free from Namjoon's grip, "No. I'm going to go talk to him and comfort him. He doesn't have anyone else to talk to."

Suga stepped in, "Hyung, he'll talk to us if he wants to. Why do you think he'll talk to you if he won't talk to us?"

Jin shouted, "Because I don't tease about stupid things while the 'umma of the group' isn't there to yell at them!" 

Suga and Namjoon's jaws immediately dropped, but they quickly recollected themselves and nodded in understanding. Jimin and J-Hope looked at each other, now even more confused than ever. Jin quickly left, scoffing at the group. He really didn't want to, but he felt angry at Namjoon and Suga's ignorance. But as of now, making sure Jungkook was okay was his #1 priority.

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

Jin found Jungkook leaning against the wall of one of the classrooms, his back against the wall with his knees to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He could hear soft whimpers escaping the younger's mouth.

Jin knelt down next to him and the top of his head caringly, "Jungkook, are you okay?" Of course, Jin knew that Jungkook wasn't okay at all, but the question seemed obligatory.

Jungkook lifted his tear-streaked face from his arm and immediately hugged Jin, his body quaking from the strength of his cries. He sobbed quietly into Jin's chest, and Jin rubbed his back soothingly. "Hyung," Jungkook started, but his words were stopped from all the tears pouring from his eyes. 

"It's okay, Jungkook. Everything's going to be okay," Jin reassured.

Jungkook shook his head, his tears smearing across Jin's shirt, "That's what Taetae-hyung said."

Jin wasn't sure what to say. There was almost nothing he could do to comfort the other. He settled on, "Do you want to talk about it? If you want to talk about it, I'll always be here to listen."

Jungkook whimpered into his shirt, "I miss him, so, so much. He doesn't spend any time with me anymore, he's always on dates with J-Hope hyung. The other day, he finally invited me over to watch more Digimon. I was so happy, but then J-Hope hyung called and Taetae-hyung made me leave because he had to go hang out with him."

Although Jin was trying his best to stay unbiased in this situation, he couldn't help but to grow frustrated on Jungkook's behalf. "Well maybe you should talk to him about it."

Jungkook shook his head, "I don't want to get in the their way again."

Jin shook his head back, "But Taehyung's hurting you. I'm sure they won't mind, now that they know that you're upset."

Jungkook took a deep breath and the two just stayed that way, hugging. Jungkook's cries softened, and he broke the silence, "Hyung?"

"Hm?"

"Hyung, please tell me everything's going to be okay," Jungkook whimpered.

Jin's heart broke as he heard those words. He suddenly felt how fragile Jungkook was in his arms, how hurt he was, how he was shattered by Taehyung and J-Hope. He now had two choices. He could lie and say that no matter what, everything would end well. He could lie and reassure Jungkook and make him happy again. Or he could tell the truth. He could say that he honestly didn't know, and that the outcome was completely in Jungkook's control. He could be honest and leave Jungkook possibly sadder and more stressed than he already was.

Jin hesitantly asked, "Do you want me to be honest?"

Jungkook nodded weakly, "Please, hyung. Just say that everything will be okay."

Jin softly let go of Jungkook and looked him in the eye and asked again, "Jungkook-ah, do you want me to be honest?"

Jungkook paused for a moment, thinking. He swallowed and firmly nodded, "Yes."

"Jungkook," Jin started. He almost regretted his desicion. He desperately didn't want to hurt Jungkook more, but he continued, "I really don't know."

Jungkook looked down, broken. He muttered, "Oh."

Jin continued, "This is all in your control. The outcome of this will be because of your actions. Anything can happen, Jungkook."

Jin immediately regretted his choice when he saw the look on Jungkook's face. Jungkook was tearing up again, his face darkened dramatically, and discouragement was written all over his face. But he swallowed, took a deep breath, and accepted it. He nodded, then said, "Okay."

Jin thought to himself. I should really try to end this on a high note. "I can tell you one thing, though."

Jungkook looked up at Jin, tilting his head, "What is it, hyung?"

"I know for certain that Taehyung misses you, too."

Jungkook's face lit up, "Really?"

Jin nodded, smiling, "I saw him earlier after you left. He was about to cry, too."

Jungkook smiled brightly, but quickly went to a stoic expression, causing Jin to laugh, "I mean that that he's crying and all, but that means Taetae-hyung cares, too!"

Jin laughed, "Of course he cares, you're his best friend."

Jungkook nodded, "Thank you, hyung. You're the best."

Jin ruffled Jungkook's hair, "I know."

Jungkook sighed, "I wish I had an older brother like you."

Jin chuckled, "I know."

The two boys walked back inside the school and went to their classes.

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

Meanwhile, Taehyung wasn't faring nearly as well as Jungkook. He ran to the bathroom, bawling his eyes out. Unlike Jungkook, Taehyung didn't have anyone to talk to other than his brother. But that would have to wait until the end of the day. 

There was no way to describe his emotions. He was absolutely wrecked, guilty, broken. He felt bad for staying in the one-sided relationship with J-Hope, he felt bad for walking away from the group in this moment of confusion, he felt bad for making Jungkook feel bad. 

He could feel the stares and hear the whispers from his schoolmates, but frankly, he didn't care. He just wanted to extract all the negative emotion from his body and mind, he just wanted everything to go back to normal. He hated this whole thing; it made him sad, angry, guilty, and tired. 

One of his classmates asked, "Um, are you okay?"

Taehyung turned and looked at him with a blank expression and tears lining his eyes, "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"O-okay."

Taehyung quickly asked, "Do I look really bad?"

The boy hesitantly nodded their head, "Yeah, kinda."

Taehyung checked himself in the mirror as the student exited the bathroom. Damn, I do look bad. Tears were streaking his face, his eyes were red, and his face was unusually pale. He turned to the student and nodded, "Thanks for letting me know."

Taehyung quickly cleaned himself up and sorted himself out. Okay Taehyung, you need to think clearly or else you'll mess things up more.

1) You're in a one-sided relationship with your boyfriend who loves you with all of his heart and treats you so damn amazingly.

2) You have a crush on your best friend who is clearly upset by your relationship, not because he likes you (because he doesn't) but because you're always ditching him for your boyfriend that you don't even like anymore.

3) All of your friends and boyfriend are left in the dark because of this and you should probably open up about it as soon as possible, but...

4) you still have that damn music project that's forcing everyone together and forcing everyone to act like everything's okay when it clearly isn't.

Yep, that seems about right.

Taehyung took a deep breath and decided to face his friends again. He exited the bathroom and walked back to his friends. However, when he walked out, the building was completely empty. Dammit I'm late to class. Taehyung sighed dramatically as he walked to class.

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

At lunch, things couldn't be more awkward. Once again, no one tried to start up conversation and all of the food on the table was finished in record timing. Jungkook was the last to finish, eating all of his snacks he received the day before. Taehyung sadly watched Jungkook eat the cookies, then chuckled at himself for feeling sad at something so trivial.

The group sat quietly. The tension was so high, everyone was afraid to speak, afraid to accidentally utter out the wrong words. Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jin were afraid to speak since they all actually knew what was going on; Suga and Namjoon were afraid to speak with the risk of getting murdered by Jin; J-Hope and Jimin were afraid to speak since they were both so confused and had absolutely no idea what was happening and were afraid of accidentally triggering something.

But nonetheless, J-Hope broke the silence, "So...Taehyung, are we still on for ice cream tonight?"

Taehyung shook his head, "Sorry, hyung. I'm just gonna go home."

"Oh, okay," and just to be polite, he added, "Would you like to get ice cream with me, Jungkook?" Although, he honestly didn't want to get ice cream with him...at all.

"I'm okay, hyung. Thanks for offering."

The group sat quietly for the duration of the lunch period. Suga noticed Jimin's uncomfortable gaze at the table. It attempts to comfort him, Suga handed Jimin his phone and earbuds under the table. Jimin looked at Suga with a blank expression.

Suga whispered into Jimin's ear, "I made a playlist for you in class." Then he added, "With all the music that you're allowed to listen to."

Jimin eagerly took the phone, wanting any escape from the tension at the table. He quickly said, "Thanks, hyung," and inserted the speakers into his ears. 

The lunch period ended a few songs later. Making sure that everyone dispersed, Taehyung tapped Jungkook on the shoulder, and Jungkook nearly screamed. For a mere second, his color vision was activated for the first time ever. What the hell was that?! He turned around to face Taehyung, trying to hide his shock. Taehyung was also surprised from the sudden burst of color, but he was still able to speak, "Kookie?"

Jungkook turned around, and his heart started racing immediately, "Yeah?"

Taehyung took a deep breath, "Are you mad at me?"

Jungkook shook his head, "No."

"Do you want to watch Digimon after school then? I recorded some episodes the other day."

Jungkook hesitantly nodded, "Okay, that's sounds...good."

Taehyung sighed in relief. "Baekhyun-hyung is going to pick me up today, so you can come with us."

Jungkook nodded, "Okay." Dammitdammitdammit.

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

 "Hey, Jungkook. I haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?" Baekhyun asked.

"Yeah, it's just that I'm so happy that J-Hope hyung and Taetae-hyung are together, I want to make sure their relationship is running smoothly," Jungkook lied.

"Fair enough."

They shortly arrived at Taehyung's house. Jungkook and Taehyung sat on the couch and Taehyung flicked on the TV.

"This feels weird, I haven't sat on this couch in a while," Jungkook joked.

Taehyung, however, didn't laugh. "Jungkook, are you sure you're not mad at me?" Taehyung asked seriously.

"Yes?" Jungkook stated although it sounded more like a question.

"You sounded angry this morning," Taehyung pushed.

Jungkook looked down, "I don't want to talk about it."

Taehyung had a flashback:

"I don't want to talk about it."

"It's okay, hyung. You can tell me-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Jungkook!"

But Taehyung still pushed at it. "Are you sure?"

Jungkook shook his head. He did really want to talk about it, but he wasn't sure it was the right time. Unfortunately, his mouth was faster than his mind. "I've just been feeling kind of sad. We haven't been hanging out, at all really, ever since you and J-Hope-hyung stopped arguing. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you two aren't fighting anymore, I just miss hanging out with you."

Taehyung suddenly hugged Jungkook, enabling their colored vision again. Taehyung and Jungkook just stayed like that, hugging. Jungkook couldn't process it at all. The red couch, the creme colored walls, Taehyung's blue shirt, the brown coffee table; he couldn't process anything. His mind and heart were racing. He slowly sorted the events; Kim Taehyung was hugging him, which happened a lot, but this time was different, because now he could see in color. *Sigh* I wish Jin-hyung was here right now. 

Taehyung just hugged him tighter, trying to take in all the color that we was deprived of. He desperately wished that Jungkook would see the color as well, not knowing the truth. Taehyung whispered into Jungkook's ear, "I missed you, too, Kookie. I'm sorry."

Jungkook pulled away from the hug, and looked at the TV, "We should watch."

Jungkook's heart was going into hyperdrive. He didn't know what to do, he just wanted to get out of Taehyung's house as soon as possible. He looked at Taehyung and wondered if he saw and felt the same. Taehyung tried to sling his arm around Jungkook, lean his head on his shoulder, just anything to get more of the color. But every time he reached over, Jungkook shifted away from him. 

Jungkook stayed for only two out of ten episodes that Taehyung recorded.

"Hyung, I have to go now. It was nice hanging out with you."

"Are you sure you have to go?" Taehyung asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sorry," Jungkook started to feel bad. He's been wanting to hang out with Taehyung so badly, and the second he is hanging out with him, he leaves as soon as possible. So, he added, "But we can hang out tomorrow, right?"

Taehyung smiled widely, "Of course, Kookie."

Jungkook didn't know if it if it was out of instinct, if was a side affect of the color, or maybe a bit of both, but he quickly pulled Taehyung in for a hug and pecked his cheek. Their eyes widened to the size of saucers and Jungkook still had his arms around Taehyung's neck. The color was blown to full blast. Millions of thoughts were racing in both of the boys heads, but one thought was echoing in Jungkook's head. Taehyung looks beautiful in color. 

Taehyung was the first to speak, unsure of what just happened, "Jungkook?"

Jungkook squeaked, "I'm sorry, hyung!" Then ran out of the house quickly, immediately calling Jin. "Hyung? Are you busy right now?"

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

"Jungkook, you're overreacting. It was an accident," Jin said, handing Jungkook (who was currently buried in blankets and pillows) almost all the snacks. 

Jungkook held up the handful of cookies that Jin had just given him, "Really, hyung?!"

"What do you have against cookies? You said you were sad, so I gave you snacks."

"It's just that..." Jungkook then shook his head, "You know what, it's an inside joke."

"Okay," Jin said awkwardly, "So tell me what happened."

Jungkook took a deep breath, "So, Taehyung invited me to watch Digimon with him earlier, and he tapped my shoulder. Then, I saw in color, but only for a second. Then at his house, he told me that he missed me-"

"Told you so," Jin smirked.

Jungkook sighed and rolled his eyes, "Anyway, he hugged me and I got to see everything in color again. Then, I don't know why, but I just had to get out of there. I just had to. Then, I hugged him, and I may or may not have kissed his cheek after."

Jin gasped, then facepalmed, "Jungkook-ah, I know I'm supposed to be suppportive of all your actions, no matter how stupid. But why the hell did you do that?!"

"I don't know, hyung! I don't know how I can face him after that."

"I don't know either, Jungkook."

 


 

*Sigh* I am not proud of that chapter, at all. I kinda got a bad case of writer's block and I wanted to get this out by today, because tmw, I'm going back to school :( So this isn't proofread as thoroughly as the other chapters; sorry about any typos. Also, on the note that I'm going back to school tmw, that means that updates may come out once a week or less. Most likely less, because we're at the point in the story where chapters take more than one day to write and a LOT of rereads to proofread. So chapters might take a couple of weeks considering I have only 2 free days every week :(

Also, someone asked to translate my fanfic! (Thank you, Lerty675!) So if you would also like to translate this, message me and we can talk about it!

Anyway, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. Thanks for reading and subscribing!


Love you!

Kilotons

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bilai202 #1
Chapter 33: This is a cool story
bilai202 #2
Chapter 24: O I feel so so so sad for J-hope isn't he sad??? ?
sam_1998
#3
Chapter 32: Wat an ending... It's true that BTS members can only exist when they are together as a group
PenguinLOvers772
#4
Chapter 4: I'm quite confused with part tae n jhope can see color forever. Does that mran even if they found their love one they have to stay in contact to see colors?
KajsaHallon
#5
Chapter 32: I think this Is my favourite fanfic ever! I love it so much! It’s so good! Thank you for writing this story! <3
I will definitely read this many times~
kulitlang08 #6
Chapter 32: this is a nice wrap up for the story... :)

this is really cool...everyone is happy in the end...and the couples are stronger than ever...hoseok is single but hey, he is happy... hope he finds the right one for him one day... :)
AkKookie
#7
Chapter 32: The ending oh my lord....its just so perfect
skyhica #8
 this ff is so great and really emotional!!! loved every single chapter I appreciate you so much ;^;;;
kulitlang08 #9
Chapter 31: OMG!!! this is really good...i was emotional and crying...i felt jimin and yoongis struggle...their feelings for each other...and yeah it's hard to have a relationship with a celebrity...those fans...seriously!!! but i am happy that they are back together...:)

looking forward for the next update..:)
Aimz19 #10
Chapter 31: i finally can breathe normally