Chapter 24: Falling apart.

“Jongin is here.”

Baekhyun tried to ease her and slowly pulled away from the tear stricken Yerin, who slightly frown at the loss of his warmth. Jongin was standing next to me, showcasing a blank stare to what he was witnessing and I just lost any strength in myself to hold myself together.

“Don’t go.” Yerin pleaded softly, enough for Baekhyun to hear but I heard it clear enough to make it out what she was asking for from the look on her face.

I couldn’t help but to look at how strong her grip on Baekhyun’s to show she didn’t want to let him go. That nerve she had, doing it in front of his husband and me made me loss any sense of compassion to her state at that moment. What was she thinking of doing?

I didn’t get it, really. “I told you everything will be alright. I’m sure it will.” The conversation slowly fading out of my mind as my mind darted to somewhere else. Why was she doing all of this? I thought both of them were happy. They were living a great life, way better than anyone else. They were the couple people were envious of, I was envious of like the day I was wishing it would be nice if it was me in her shoes instead when I witnessed them professing their love in front of hundreds of people.

So, why was she still holding onto Baekhyun?

I haven’t realized Baekhyun were heading towards me as I looked at Yerin straight into the eyes, my glistening gaze asked her enough why was she doing this to me? But before it got too long, Baekhyun pulled me out of the ward, heading far away enough from the room.

I could felt the grip tightened as every second passes and I couldn’t make out what was going on with him as I stared at the back of his head. Until the moment I couldn’t help but winced at the sting his grip held me, I whimpered “It hurts, Baek.”

He halted his steps when I forcefully begging for my wrist to be released. Finally, he faced me, answering my wonder by his dark expression. It was intimidating as I wasn’t used to it. “You’re going home. I’ll take you home.”

“You’re mad at me.”

He huffed loudly. “How couldn’t I? What the hell are you doing with Jongin?” his voice raised, his chest heaving up and down as he held the fury in him. “Why are you with him? I told you I hate seeing you with him. I told you to stay away from him. Didn’t I make that clear enough? Wasn’t it understandable? How far do I have to go to make sure you’re away from him at all costs?”

“Until when do I have to deal with your unsettling feelings for him?” He yelled and forcefully released my hand, anger were rising to its peak by every word he muttered out.

“What about you? What are you doing back there?” I asked, my tears were b at the corner of my eyes because those mere words he said actually hurt me. I chuckled wryly when my emotions started to get overwhelm and I felt my breath hitched like a lump stuck in my throat. The fact I can’t get the words out of me frustrating me. “I can get home by myself. You go ahead. You’re irritating me.” I left, holding the red mark on my wrist to ease the pain that were incomparable to the wound in my heart.

Needing a time to myself wasn’t exactly helping. I got paranoid, insecure and I’m just scared. No one voiced out opposing my thoughts that was pulling me down. Flashbacks were dragging me all the way to the ground. I felt at loss.

What was going on between Baekhyun and Yerin exactly?

He had never mentioned her at all ever since the last argument we were in when I was angry that he didn’t make it to our date. I was too comfortable thinking that he was totally out of reach from Yerin. And I realized how frightening that woman could be.

Her words were biting off my inside and it grew as a whole, possessing a big part of me. She had warned me and it seemed she didn’t stop. I was nothing like the person who faced her and spit to her face. I was just a woman who was just too traumatized to get hurt again. And I don’t think I could even get through it.

I looked down to my phone once again just to see no text messages coming from him that I’m starting to miss him. We were found at a wrong place and at some point, I felt like giving in and apologize because I just want to know that he was still with me but my anger stopped my conscience from doing so because what was the point of doing it when I saw it obvious enough that he gave in so easily to her.

~~~

“What’s up?” I lifted my bag on the bar as I settled down on one of the stools.

Chanyeol grinned when he noticed me, talking a few more words to his staffs before heading towards me. “You’re here.”

I nodded while mirroring his expression. He had called me earlier today, saying I should drop by his café when I’m available. For one second, I thought he wanted to talk about what was going on but his face told me otherwise. Maybe I was the one who was feeling we weren’t fine all this while?

“I called you to come over for a food tasting test.”

I narrowed my eyebrows. “Food tasting test?”

“Yeah. I want you to have a taste on our new dish that we plan to add in into the menu by the end of this month. Taejin suggested that on our last monthly meeting. I need feedbacks.” Chanyeol explained. “Wait a minute, where is Subin suddenly?”

“Wow, I’m honoured. And I’m so moved you chose me to be the first person to taste it. I mean it could’ve been Baekhyun or Jongdae since they’re closer to you.”

“Did I forget to tell you? I need smart feedbacks. Not two morons who act like they weren’t sure of the taste on purpose to have a hearty meal for free. Who could be a better choice than you?”

“Actually,” I feigned an accusatory look. “You called me because Baekhyun and Jongdae refused to, right?”

“I swear, I did not – “

“Yeol, get me an Americano.” A familiar lazy voice cut Chanyeol midsentence and there were Baekhyun stood beside me nonchalantly, didn’t bother to give me a glance.

“Look, I don’t have to call your boyfriend and he’s here slaving me around.” As if he just woke up, Baekhyun blinked his eyes few times before it went wide and look to the side like he hadn’t realize I was there the whole time. “Rough day, buddy?”

He hummed lazily in response as he sat on the stool by the bar. We let the silence enveloping the air for as long as I could feel it started to kill me with this awkwardness. He wasn’t in his usual self – indifferent and stoic – that it saddened me to how he was acting like this around me. Nothing was the same, nothing felt same and it wasn’t the kind of change I wanted.

“You’ve been working?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He answered shortly. No words except that came out of his mouth and the silence went on again as I murmured “I see.” under my breath awkwardly because he was not trying to cooperate with me at all.

I felt like yelling. I felt like screaming at him just to get a response out of him and I…want to say sorry. I just want him back. Despite his tiredness and moodiness, he still looked as good as ever. I would have come up with a remark to crack him up but I knew better it won’t work in this situation.

I feel sick in my stomach. There was a really big distance between us even though he was right next to me.

“You two are so quiet today. Is something wrong?” Chanyeol asked with a genuine curious look when he came back with Baekhyun’s drink.

Of course, Baekhyun had the answer for that. “What are you talking about? Nothing is going on. Aren’t you ever got tired from talking too much?”

“What is this suddenly had got to do with me?”

The conversations were mostly consisted of me and Chanyeol. Or even if Baekhyun started to speak, naturally I was out of the scene. He wasn’t even trying to talk to me. When I felt that I have stayed long enough, I let them know that I wanted to leave and I saw Baekhyun casually stood up from his seat and walked me out. He offered me a ride and I just followed him to his car quietly.

The sound of breathing and occasional sighing accompany the air throughout the whole ride. I watched the scene before me by the window rather than trying to face him. I wasn’t happy with his slightly cold treatment, neither was I trying to make it better.

But how did it ended up this way? I could feel my heart pounding but it wasn’t the same from the one I used to have due to the giddiness and excitement when we were together. It was weird how he managed to make me feel this way and it gave me two absolute different emo