Chapter 18: Nothing to lose.

Baekhyun had all of his attention on the stuffs along the racks, trying to find the exact thing he has been searching for that he didn’t realize the confusing stare I had on him. A night where I thought I would end up hitting bed, sleeping early like a boring person I am turned unexpectedly eventful with a presence of Baekhyun /slash/my boyfriend.

I might have liked acknowledging him as my boyfriend a little too much.

“Found it!” his loud voice snapped me out of my reverie, and without I could even asked about why he needs a mosquito repellent, his hand were gripped tightly around my wrist, pulling me with him to the counter.

“What do you need a mosquito repellent for?” I asked as he pulled out his wallet by the back of his jeans’ pocket and he just smiled in response and scrunching his nose at me.

That had made me smile bashfully back at him because he was so adorable looking like that, we got out of the store and I followed in suit of his footsteps. “Since you’ve been acting high enough tagging me to play swings and eating instant foods at the convenience store, I thought why not we go all out?” he said as he walked backwards, facing me. “Come here, take my hand.” He insisted and without any hesitation, I stretched out my arm so that my hand reached his larger one.

“Where are we going?” I asked, tilting my head slightly to get a sight of his face.

“You’ll see.”

He brought me to the nearest park, the park that reminded me of the time I was met with a flasher once when I was on my way home after my part time job was over during high school. I told him the story how I ran so hard for my life that time after that shocking experience made our walk along the pavement full of cackles and enjoyable despite we were surrounded by dark and silence environment. I realized I hardly had an awkward time with Baekhyun despite how short we have known each other. He had filled all those empty spaces in my heart that for once, I actually felt free from my grievance. I wasn’t the icon of misfortune after all.

He left my side once our steps came to halt in the middle of wide area of grassy land, accompanied by big bulk of trees around. I had so many questions in my head with every action Baekhyun was making, and my face was contorted in confusion and cluelessness as I saw him settled on the ground ripping out the packet and set it up. In the middle of the park. Where people could be walking passed by us and both of us, at the time passed midnight, were acting like we were the only ones in the world and did our own thing. Or I must say Baekhyun thought so.

“What are you doing?” I asked when he put the repellent at a corner as the sharp smells winding by when he fanned the smoke to spread around.

“Remember we stargazed once at the back of the hotel in Okinawa?” he lied down on the grass, one arm supporting his head and his eyes never left mine as if encouraging me to join him.

“People are looking.” I hissed. Oh yeah, being the only two lying in the middle of the park, at midnight are so romantic, of course. Could it be any more typical?

Baekhyun his side, his head now rested on his probing arm as he watched me judgmentally. “Look around. There’s nobody! I’m not a celebrity that people are chasing to catch on my love life. It’s not like there’s someone taking pictures of us hiding behind the tree there. What’s the fun in life if you keep thinking like that? I can assure you 100% that you won’t be on tv next morning with you looking like that.”

I huffed in defeated, feigning a frustration as I sat close to him. Baekhyun imitated my pose and take off his jacket to place it on my legs. “What’s with the repellent?”

“There are a lot of mosquitoes here than you could have imagine.” His hands were flailing around as he started to witness one trying to mess around with him. “See? This goddamned creature.” He hissed.

I took off his jacket and covered him instead. “I think you need it more than me.” I commented and look up at the dark sky. “But there are barely any stars here.”  I muttered, comparing it to the last time we were exactly like this, when we just knew each other and shared the common thing we have. Being the ex-lovers.

Baekhyun stretched out his free arm to the air, making up a star using his fingertips to fill in the dark sky. “And there is one less star tonight than usual,” he muttered as he held a glance on me. “because you just plucked one out.” He pulled his stretched arm back to himself and when I followed it, it ended up in front of his face, only then I realized it was shaped into a small love.

“Oh my god!” I smacked his arm few times, pretty hard I guess because his face scrunched, holding in the pain as he rubbed the spot I hit. “Can you please stop?”

“Please, I look adorable, thank you.”

“Adorable? That’s just plain disgusting.” I commented and he chuckled at my grim expression that was full of discomfort.

I lied on the grass, making myself comfortable, staring at the moon intently. He lied on his stomach next to me, and his gaze bored into me deeply, gathering my attention back at him. He seemed to know me so well how I love his smile because that was all he kept giving to me. I broke the gaze first by looking away, with smile that never left my face and I pulled my oversized hoodie to cover up until the tip of my nose like a gesture I did whenever I felt a little uncomfortable with his attention on me when my eyes had proved enough that I was all smiles behind the fabric covering me. It was left like that for mere few seconds before I felt he settled the piece of cloth out of my face as his was right on top of mine, and I could see my reflection in his orbs before it moved its attention towards my lips.

My heart was beating rapidly against the ribcage, I found myself hard to even catch a breath through my nostrils that I parted my lips to inhale more air and that time, I found a soft pressure pressing against my lips, his lips perfectly mould with mine that automatically made my eyes fluttered close.

It was a short one, because he pulled away, showcasing his playful smile, reminding me of the same image when he buckled my seatbelt, that plain action nearly made my heart stopped beating. And it was as if he was reminding of the same thing when he said “You have no idea how much I want to do this that time.” He whispered before he went for another kiss, this one was stronger and filled with more passion than the previous one.

We would have forgotten that we were lying in the middle of the park if not for the cold breeze passing by and Baekhyun ended the kiss before I saw his palm landed hard on his neck and he hid his face in the crook of mine. “These mosquitoes won’t leave me alone, seriously.” He mumbled in defeat.

That did it, I burst out in laughter at his frustration.

~~~

Just because you felt that the world had stilled when you were with him, didn’t mean that it really was.

Baekhyun’s presence was felt at all times. I had to say, that had just change a part of my routine but it’s not like I was complaining. It wasn’t the inseparable type of that we made sure we’ve seen each other once a day because damn, an hour ‘made me miss you like hell.’. We weren’t like that, at least I know I wasn’t.

He had played that card once and he was lucky he wasn’t right in front of me because I would have taped his mouth shut to stop him from being too much. But he laughed in the end, always when he heard me grunted, then I know that he did it on purpose because frustrate me was part of what made his day more amusing.

One thing I found about Baekhyun was, once he said “I have to work.”, then that means I’ll not be hearing anything for quite a while but he never ended the day without greeting me goodnight and I love you.

Honestly, I hated when I love you could be slipped so easily like it wasn’t meant anything. Insecurities were hitting me when I remember how I’ve loved Jongin with all my heart before because I believed with how much he had said it to me, he had loved me and it all changed one day without I could even see it coming. But the part where how genuine Baekhyun’s tone had made it sound when he made sure I knew what he was feeling, it told me he didn’t say it just for