It had been over a week since we returned from Japan and the job has become a huge demand. So far I have twisted ankle and nearly fainted due to to lack of sleep. I had felt the hint of regret for the first time since entering this district of fashion, I pretended to be okay when I talked to my mother and always smiled around Taemin but I reached my breaking point.

I put my coins into the coffee machine this particular morning, and waited for my drink. Playful hands covered my eyes and his familiar scent filled my nose. Taemin started coming in earlier to meet me every morning before we were separated by our activities, I would it sweet but unnecessary.

"I beat you here this morning~" Taemin's voice was always so full of energy.

"You always do, I haven't had my third coffee yet." I smiled at him before sitting down on the bench, Taemin sat next to me. "So I have a few thoughts I want to run with you." I started to tell him.

"What kinda thoughts?"

"I am really regretting my job." Taemin's expression changed instantly. "Frankly, I'm really home sick , exhausted and over worked."

"Take a vacation?"

"I don't think that will fix it in the long term Taeminie." I sighed and took a long sip of my coffee.

"Just think about it before you make a decision. Think about us." Taemin smiled before getting up from his seat to go to his schedule.

He sure knew how to make my decision harder on me. Leaving SM would mean leaving Taemin and the rest of the gang; even though I wasn't part of their world they would still include me. I still felt awkward around Key since what happened, and it really ruined our friendship. I didn't take all the blame for that one, Key was part of that too.

I stood up and made my way through the days events half coherent. Forgetting Chihye's socks and zoning out a ton of times earned me various looks from other staff members. I had been so off track I didn't even realize I started my period today, I sighed and pulled out a sanitary pad from my bag and set myself up.

I washed my hands for what felt only like a few minutes, but Selene was there to snap me back into reality. "You seem so out of it, are you high?" I shook my head turning off the tap and drying my hands off.

Later that night I sat on my couch and stared at the black television screen, my apartment was cleaned, the fridge had been sorted through and I bathed; twice. I tried everything to push out the idea of quitting and my mind still found it the most logical answer.

I was frightened to quit, maybe some how I thought Taemin would break up with me. I didn't have Taemin when I came here and If I went home I wouldn't have him. I fought myself over those things most of the day. I the television and decided that after the news I would make my final decision.

The figures on the TV moved, but the thoughts in my head acted like ear plugs; I couldn't concentrate long enough to know what was going on. Then Taemin's face popped up, his interview from Japan had been aired.

" Is Taemin from SHINee dating Apink's Naeun? Recently in a interview done few weeks ago Taemin stated that he liked girls in red, and in K-Top's latest magazine Taemin and Naeun were spotted doing a couple shot, where she in question is wearing red."

I felt my heart twinge in my chest, they looked so good together. The way his hand draped around her waist and the look she gave him when they were only inches apart. I quickly turned off the television and picked up my quarter and flipped it in the air; heads I would stay, tails I would return home. Yes this seemed like a bad way to decide things, but my dad had always told me to get it done and over with.

It landed in my hand again, my fingers grasped around the coin tightly. I couldn't feel the fear rising from my stomach as I slowly began to unclasp my fingers from the coin. The world seemed to slow down around me as I removed the last fingers, the antlers didn't seem more familiar to me then ever.

"Tails.." I whispered.

--

I walked through the double doors of the SM building in the morning and I was earlier on purpose. I clutched my purse close to me as I ascended the stairs to the main office. I asked the secretary if I could meet with him and she had me wait for him in his office. The nerves I felt when I was first sitting in this office rushed back to me, the same day I met Selene and the day I was told about my first show. I could feel tears threatening to come fourth, the door opening startled me, stopping the tears.

"Ms Phoebe! What can I do for you today?" President seemed to be in a good mood today, and I was about to ruin this.

"Sir, the last year and a bit have been an amazing opportunity for me. I will never forget the kindness and passion this company has shown me." I dug into my purse and pulled out my resignation," I can no longer work for this company. I am returning back to Canada next week, Thank you for everything." I bowed in ninety degrees before him.

"I am very saddened this is happening. I am glad to have known you, and It was an honor to have such a talented woman as you on our team."

I felt the tear fall from my eyes as I turned to exit the room, I closed the door behind me and wiped my face of my tears. I placed two notes in respective dressing rooms explaining my leave to both Chihye and SHINee. I took one last look as I walked back out of SM and hailed a Taxi, headed for my home.