little mind, steps unsteady

and i'm not ready

to hurdle through the atmosphere 

i'll end up somewhere far from here,

i'll end up somewhere far from you. 

•••

 (thanku for reminding me that february 31st isn't infact a day ive changed it now aahh)

a month, and baekhyun has heard nothing from chanyeol. it was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. 

within that month, baekhyun had spoken to jongin; they had a lot in common, and although they hadn't clicked immediately, like chanyeol and himself, the two got on well and the "squad", as kyungsoo called it, was truly becoming real - barre one member. 

chanyeol. 

after that day at sehun and baekhyun's house, everything seemed great - baekhyun found out that jongin was part of a high end contemporary ballet school, and that he chanyeol were making their way up the underground ladders of music, kyungsoo had developed his cooking skills, and sehun... well, nobody really had a clue what sehun did, but it was probably productive in one way or the other. 

baekhyun assumed he knew chanyeol relatively well, they had opened up about a lot of things, chanyeol always smiled, and even if his mouth wasn't displaying it, his body language did. 

his eyes always seemed to glitter slightly, and he carried himself with a skip in his lengthy step. 

but what he didn't know about chanyeol, was that he had a strange habit of completely disappearing - seemingly vanishing into thin air. 

jongin had told them he did it all the time, that it could be for a day or two, maybe up to a month. the longest period of time he had vanished for, jongin had told him, was half a year, and the dancer had never truly found out where chanyeol had gone. 

and so, the night before the first of march, the day marking a month passing since their last conversation, baekhyun lay on his back in his indigo stained room, watching his fingers swirl around lazily, eyes hazy and lidded from fatigue. he thought about chanyeol. his mind conjured up questions he couldn't fathom finding the truth for, and as he thought about it deeply, he came to the conclusion that he didn't really know chanyeol at all, and that all he had really done was scratched the surface of his personality. 

it was a shame really, and as the young man dwelled further, the worse it made him feel. 

he didn't want chanyeol to disappear, even if jongin said it was okay, he didn't want to grow apart from this man, whom he had felt a rooted bond with almost immediately. 

baekhyun went through many stages of thought, through self-doubt, anger, sadness, detachment, and the hours ticked by unknowingly 

march 1st, 01:09am, and baekhyun was lonely. 

the young man fumbled with his phone, the blue light screamed at him as he turned it on, causing him to squint and hide his face. 

after he had gotten used to the bright glow, in his mindless state he scrolled through his contact list; his eyes glazed over the name he was looking for, and his thumb hovered above chanyeol(the bath guy).

it took him two rings to pick up. 

"chanyeol-" baekhyun mumbled, but was interrupted by chanyeol's steady, but hushed words. 

"are you okay, byun?" he sounded croaky, as if his voice box had been out of use for a while, growing rusty in an abandoned shed somewhere. 

"what?" baekhyun's senses shook their feathers as he sat up; television static fogged his mind for a brief moment before all of his attention was on chanyeol again. "you're asking me that?" 

chanyeol mustered a low grumble of a laugh. 

"you can't just leave me like that, i was worried about you!" baekhyun continued, "i know jongin said you'd be okay, but i wasn't ready, okay?" 

 chanyeol laughed softly, but his voice became steady again as he went on , "i didn't think you'd worry, im sorry... can i make it up to you in any way?" 

he sounded sincere enough to baekhyun's sleep deprived ears, and his sleep deprived brain seemed to think it was a good idea to let his sleep deprived mouth blurt out anything it wanted at one in the morning. 

"come here," he mumbled, although the underlying command was evident. "now. i want to see you." 

"now?" chanyeol's monotone voice sounded slightly uplifted, albeit it could've been baekhyun's ears or the speaker playing tricks. 

"yes. you know my address. i want to see your face. it's been a whole month, and in baekhyun years, that's seventy years, so i haven't seen you in seve-" 

"okay, byun, i'm coming." chanyeol's bemused tone made baekhyun giggle, and baekhyun never giggles. 

there was a soft knock at baekhyun and sehun's door fifteen minutes later, and the apartment was completely silent in the early hours of the morning, so baekhyun heard it clearly. 

he shuffled to the door, past sehun's tightly shut room and fumbled to unlock it. 

the door cracked open to reveal chanyeol standing beneath the cheap hallway lights, painting him a slightly strange shade of amber. 

he looked different. 

baekhyun didn't know why, but he looked renewed, fresh, clean, although his hair was a mess (but when wasn't it?) .

no words were exchanged as baekhyun took chanyeol's sleeve, pulled him in, locked the door and lead the taller man to the sofa. 

the smaller man halfheartedly pushed chanyeol onto the overly-cushioned sofa, and plonked down next to him, silent until he turned to face expectant eyes and a gentle smile. 

"you left me" baekhyun wearily mumbled, barely audible over the silence. 

"baekhyun," chanyeol began. "i didn't go for age-"

baekhyun's sleep ridden eyes interrogated chanyeol's, and with a small shake of the head and a finger to his own lips, he made chanyeol hush. 

"are you tired?" baekhyun asked as he wobbled to his feet, his head spinning yet again. 

"don't even get me started," chanyeol sighed, his own lack of sleep seemingly catching up and trapping him in a net. 

"come with me," 

baekhyun held out his hand, and chanyeol delicately took it; the latter's hand dominated, making baekhyun's look small and dainty in comparison. 

baekhyun lead the taller to his bedroom. 

"sleep." he ordered as he flopped onto his matress. 

chanyeol laughed, mumbling a shy, "what?", but sat down next to baekhyun nonetheless. 

"dont be weird about this, this isnt weird," baekhyun began as he lay down and gathered his duvet about his body, "we're just two bros hanging out, sleeping in the same bed, dont worry. but take off your shoes." 

chanyeol was confused, definitely, and he put it down to baekhyun's delirious nature, and so he didn't think anything of it as he kicked his shoes off and lay down next to the boy he was obsessively crushing on. 

"you smell like..." baekhyun drawled as he shuffled closer. "you smell like outside. like trees and ." 

baekhyun felt the vibrations of chanyeols chest even by his side, and smiled to himself. 

"ah yes, 'trees and ' is my new fragrance, i'm glad you like it," 

"you're good, chanyeol," baekhyun mumbled as he bonked his head down on his pillow, unnecessarily close to chanyeol. "good, good..." 

those were the last words baekhyun uttered before he fell into a slightly less troubled sleep, in another strange circumstance with the same person. 

chanyeol closed his eyes after his days-long streak of no sleep - he had reached five days, and was completely out of his mind at this point. but with baekhyun by his side, he slipped into the velvety embrace of slumber at a record speed, and his last conscious thoughts were that he could definitely get used to nights like this, if they were to ever happen again.