"...what do you know about the so called tiger economy? Is there a special economic system regarding tigers? Or..." It wasn't even 8 am and the sun was brightly shining in my face and birds started to sing again at the wee hours, reminding me of my favorite season of the year.

The snow melted, frosts were less severe and it got warmer day by day. Finally spring. I've been waiting for it since forever. Leaves grew back and were building a new living space for birds, squirrels and other animals that woke up from their long and warm winter sleep. A beautiful spring with all the blooming flowers, trees that became alive again and the shining sun made a smile come across my lips.

"Huh, what a-"

"Good morning, Ms. Hwang." 

"Good morning, Mr.- oh, uh, I'm sorry." Laughter were heard around me, obviously because of no other than me. Juhyun was laughing too so I gave her a nudge in her waist as I look at our instructor of this early lecture, telling her to stop.

"The spring is nice, isn't it?" He said.

"Yeah, uhm, no, it isn't. Uh, it is, it is." 

"Do you know what's nice as well?" 

"Summer?" I answered, raising more laughter from my fellow students of which I didn't even know half of them.

"Silence." Mr. Lee looked around and seriously tried to be tough. Everyone knew he was anything else but tough. With a face of a 10 year old, a bean-like head shape and the height of an average Korean, his looks just perfectly fitted his personality. He had a deep voice that a lot girls fell for but that was one of a few manly things about him. Soon, the image of a strong and protective guy did an one-eighty...however, the protective part wasn't so wrong after all, as I realized.

Mr. Lee couldn't keep eye contact with someone more than 3 seconds or if he wasn't sure about something his voice got more silent throughout the sentence. He often got intimidated and some of us really pitied him for that, me included. If I carefully watched him, I noticed his shaking eyes and hands as he held the laser pointer, eventually putting it down because he himself realized what he was doing.

Well, but Mr. Lee did teach well, the way he explained something, the way he tried to convey new things to us, it seemed as if he was really passionate about the professor being but I wasn't sure if that was the perfect job for a person with low self-esteem. His classes were almost "sold-out" thus he had to speak in front of many people who didn't shy away from laughing at him. No one would deny it if someone said he had a low self-esteem because he did have a low self-esteem. But I couldn't blame him for it ... He was still young and just needed more years of experience.

At least I was learning something in his lectures and that was the main point of attending the university, right?

"Think about it again, Ms. Hwang. What's nice as well?" 

"Uh, uhm the economy of the Four Asian Tigers?" 

"Right~, bravo. Let's clap for her." And everyone actually applauded for me. Especially that one student behind me. Sooyoung was literally sparkling with enthusiasm. A little bit to much sparkling for my liking, I felt mocked by her. Just like always...

Simple things like flowers, a butterfly or a speck of dust which flew in the air could catch all of my attention. It was fascinating to observe little things in its structure and what it did. Butterflies often had brightly colored wings, they could look pretty just calmly sitting on a leaf or a blossom, sipping its nectar. The calmness butterflies seem to have looked delightful and gracious. For me they appeared like peaceful creatures that didn't worry about anything but the nectar hidden inside of flowers. 

I envied them for being so calm. I tended to do a lot of things at once, stressing myself and stuff. Through the yoga classes, I learnt how to uphold my calmness but as soon as I lost it, my mind immediately hits the panic button and everything just turns into a big disaster. I may be smart but I was also clumsy and oblivious. Being clumsy made me as well the people around me suffer from it.

Just 4 years ago, when I was 18 and just graduated high school in America, someone was kind of impressed by my school activities; 2 years in a row students' representative, the head of many projects that my school hosted and not to forget that one year abroad to explore the varieties of cultures and languages. He offered me a scholarship for international business administration in Korea. In Korea! After high school my actual plan was to move to Korea, leaving my beloved mom in the US. When he approached me right after my graduation I was shocked at his sudden appearance. It was kind of fortunate at that moment. I've seen my whole future in front of my eyes.

But everything took a turn faster than expected. I haven't even packed all my things together for the departure, he called my parents and canceled the scholarship because someone (me) that