“Is she eating well?” I sit with my mother for some afternoon tea time. I just pass by to get the list she was saying that Gaeul made which contains all of the stuff she wanted me to buy for her room. I won’t deny that she’s kind of spoiled but why not, I can spoil her up. And besides, she’s not a brat so nothing’s bad about it.

She’s my princess, why the hell not right?

“She didn’t eat her dinner last night. She said she has a sore throat.” Eomma answers with a sigh. I furrow my eyebrows in worry as I put my cup of tea. “Is she alright? Did she drink medicine already?” Worry starts building in my mind. “Yes, our maids took care of her well. This morning fortunately she ate breakfast. I heard she has a test.” Eomma answers.

I lean on my chair comfortably again. “Did she list out the bed she wants? I’m planning to do that first. I needed to know how much space would the bed take up before adding the others so I ordered it already.” I go back to our first topic. “Yes she did. She was rumbling about how she wants the floral type of bed with curtains all around it where she can role play as princess.” Eomma explains in between chuckles. “Yeah, that kid likes being a princess.” I answer back as I smile in space.

“I’m actually quite surprised at how you were able to give her girly needs and desires. Other single fathers could have had a hard time on that.” Eomma tells. Over six months of being here and we haven’t actually had a nice chat like this. I was busy right away the moment I arrived since my work is quite all around the place in this industry, it wasn’t hard for me to receive offers.

“Well, Angela actually had her own ‘Handbook for my Princess-to-be’ back when she was still pregnant. I kept that and learned myself.” I answer while sniggering. My mother grew silent for a while but she had a solemn smile. Our eyes meet and she had that sympathetic smile. “What’s with the look, Eomma?” I ask giving her a small smile.

She suddenly moves her stool closer to mine and leaned her head on my shoulder. “Ever since we forced you to study in London. . . you’ve been living on your own. Because of our company, we never had a chance to visit you as often as we should have. Even during those times when. . . you know. . . you needed us the most.” She speaks. I put a hand on top of hers while heaving a sigh. “It already happened. Aigoo, why so emotional. Everything’s fine. I handled it pretty well.” I tell before moving my arm then over her shoulder.

I miss cuddling with my mother. The last time I was able to do this was when I was still a kid.

Funny that I’m doing this again when I already have my own kid.

But what made me lose my smile was when I heard faint sobs coming from my mother. “I’m sorry. . .” She pulls me for a hug. I’m not a big fan of emotional stuffs like this so I didn’t know how to really react. “H-how were you when she left? Were y-you eating right? Did you not drink yourself out to forget? How were you?” She starts asking non-stop. I pull away from the hug and let out a small chuckle.

“Eomma~ how could I drink myself out to forget, I had an infant to take care of. You’re so silly.” I tell and wipe her tears with my thumbs. “And besides, you visited twice. What are you saying you didn’t come?” I reassure her. She looked so upset of herself. “The first time was your wedding and the second time was Gaeul’s first birthday. . . but those times when you just lost your wife. . . I wasn’t there and I should have been there.” She mutters in between weeps.

She looked so guilty.

“Eomma, I knew back then the company was in a state of crisis. I wasn’t that self-centered to force you and Appa to go and leave everything out of your hands.” I explain thoroughly. I might have needed someone for comfort and guide during those times, especially being so clueless of how to raise my baby alone, but I had a few friends there who were by my side too and also, Angela’s parents were there the whole time.

So I survived.

“But still—“Eomma, you look so silly already. You’re turning fifty-five and you’re still crying like five.” I tell and she gave me a light hit on the arm but fortunately, it finally made her smile. “But Baekhyun. . . everything we could do now to help you with Gaeul, we’ll give. Okay? Don’t be shy to ask for help. We’re gonna make it up to you.” She tells and pats my cheek. I give her a light nod before leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. “Fine, I will take advantage of this when I have a chance.” I grin and she laughs along while nodding.

“Anyway. . . I was reminded. The last time you mentioned you were dating was with that one who busted your head. Have you dated after her?” She changes the topic while wiping the remaining tears on her face. “I have gone to two dates but they were just all onetime’s, I didn’t really find chemistry with those women. As of now. . . no.” I answer right away and lean close to the table again to finally eat the slice of cake my mom prepared for me.

To which reminded me of Hana again.

As I hold the fork, a small smile reaches up my