“H-hi. . .”

I hesitantly walked to Hana as I arrive at our meeting place – just the playground near my own house. I suggested a real restaurant perfect for date and also it’ll be warm enough for us but she insisted to just stay at places nearby my house because of Gaeul. Of course I didn’t say no to that but more so, it touches me that she’s taking in consideration of Gaeul all the time.

It makes me fall for her more and more.

As I’ve told you, my daughter would always hold my trigger.

She was sitting on the bench that gives off a perfect view of the snowy and empty playground. Although it’s almost afternoon, the sky was a bit dark but thankfully, the many lamp posts made everything bright. I flop down beside her and grinned. She just gave me a smug chuckle while looking straight ahead again.

Why do I seem like the girl here while she’s the boy?

Seriously? She’s so cool that it makes me not-so-cool.

“So. . .” I turn to her again and hesitantly reached my hand on top of hers that was placed on her lap. “You’re my girlfriend no—ouch!” She suddenly slaps my hand making me pull away. “Before touching me, hear me out first. And besides, you only asked me to date you, not to be your girlfriend.” She tells. “I-I know, isn’t that the same with being a co—“No, it isn’t.” She speaks seriously while looking at me. My eyes bulge out in disbelief.

“S-seriously? Do I have to court you?? Are you nu—“I stop from my words before I could say something unintended and eventually shoo her away from me. “Why? Haven’t you heard of the courting tradition? Can’t I hold on to that despite my age?” She asks. I put a hand over my mouth as I slowly rub it down to my chin. “You’re kidding right?” I ask and try to laugh it out.

She suddenly gives me that hurt frown.

“Am I not worth courting for? Do I look like just some girl whom you can simply woo with words and then cha~ she’s your girlfriend, so you can do whatever you want?” She tells me which made me look away out of guilt. “Let me be honest with you. My first boyfriend broke my heart big time. So I wa—“Ok fine, then tell me what he did. Huh? Have you ever told me? No. How am I supposed to court someone whom I don’t even kno—“He almost me, okay?” She cuts me off and I was left speechless.

She wasn’t crying, she only had a firm tone and expression.

If they were other girls, she could have cried the moment that word is mentioned.

She looks away afterwards and folds her arms. “I didn’t want to tell you because it’s too personal. We were a couple for two years but I’ve always hold on to whatever I could hold on to myself. I never allowed him to be intimate with me in that way. And one day, he just burst and forced me but I was able to fight back and he got into jail for a while.” She finishes her sentence with a hitch of breath.

She then turns to me again.

“Now you know that the girl you’re trying to court is surprisingly a stupid . The most intimate things I did with a man is kissing, holding hands and hugging. Well if Hanbin trying to touch some of my boundary parts like s and you know the opening of the v-card is counted, then it is. You should feel lucky.” She scoffs and rolls her eyes. The way she said every word sounded casual but I myself felt the pain of such experience.

I wanted to hug her but somehow, I can’t do it.

“W-were you alright—“Of course not! I wasn’t alright after a man, worse my own boyfriend, tried to shove his in me; of course it wasn’t alright, you dimwit. If you want to comfort me through such issue try to at least ask something with sense.” She hisses back at me making me flinch in fear. Oh dear, it’s a good thing we’re totally alone in this playground right now or she could have caused a scene. “Now.” She turns to me and points a finger deep on my chest. “If you’re only trying to get my V-card like Hanbin did, you’re free to go and don’t you ever show this ing stupid good-looking pretty boy face of yours again.” She warns.

Wait—she just complimented me.

“S-so. . . how are we gonna do this? Uhm. . . —“ I look away and run my fingers through my hair. I am not used to relationships without intimacy, I swear. I at that kind of love. I don’t know how to show it without getting physical. “Are you cussing? You just want to me, don’t you??” She asks making me flinch again as I shake my head quickly. “No no—it isn’t like that—wait I’m just—hoo~” I fan myself which is very weird because it’s freaking cold and I’m feeling hot around my face right now. “I told you, if you don’t want to continue and prove ‘that feeling’ of yours to me, you’re free to leave.” She tells.

I did tell her I can prove my feelings to her.