“There is something wrong with me.”

I sit across my best friend’s husband, Do Kyungsoo. “As always.” He tells and grabs his mug of coffee. I fold my arms and frown even harder. “It’s not what I meant.” I groan and glance at Iseul who was still busy in the kitchen. It’s weekend today and I escaped from home for a while, Baekhyun’s with Gaeul and we’ll go on a family date later tonight.

“Okay, fine. What is wrong with you?” He asks more properly this time while glancing down to his laptop. I hiss at what he was doing and snatch the laptop. He looked at me in incredulity but I don’t care anymore. “I’ve been using ovulation predictor kit. At my first two tries, the results show very pale color on the line at least, but now, recently, the line is not there at all which scared me even more.” I tell and closed his laptop. “I’m not that kind of doctor.” He answers without any hesitation.

“Honey?” I hear Iseul’s coo from the kitchen. I see Kyungsoo closing his eyes while heaving a sigh. When he opened his eyes again he looked straight at me. “Do you have irregular menstruation?” He asks. Okay, this is awkward. I shouldn’t have insisted. “Well, I didn’t usually care befo—“Have you checked your cervical mucus? Do you know how to do it? It’s very simple, I read it in Iseul’s child rearing book. It’s to some extent similar to ing. In the instruction, it says you just need to insert your finger into your , maybe up to your knuckle or more and then—“I will insert my fingers into your eyes and make you go blind. How about that?”I cut him off.

He really doesn’t know how to get uncomfortable with such topic huh?

I want to kill him.

I really want to kill him but I can’t, I’m not a murderer.

I hear Iseul’s soft chuckles making me open my eyes again. She already got out of the kitchen and went to us. She sat on the handle of the couch where Kyungsoo was sitting and put her arms on his shoulders. “Honey, be a bit gentle with your words.” She tells and looked at me. “So you’ve been trying to get pregnant?” She asks. I give her a nod.

“Does Baekhyun know this problem?” She asks next. I scratch my neck as I look at her. “I. . . I’m scared to tell him. W-what if he blames me of why we’re still not pregnant. . .” I muffle and look down to my lap, until Kyungsoo spoke again. “Then divorce.” He tells and I shoot a glare at him. “Why? What’s the point of being married when you still feel scared to be honest? I tell Iseul when she looks unattractive. There’s no point in lying if she’s really unattractive because it’s not something that would make me divorce her anyway.” Kyungsoo tells and he earned a hit from Iseul. “Okay, you’re dead later pengu. But anyway.” Iseul turns to me again. “You should tell Baekhyun about your worries and then go to the OB-gyne with him, just that. Aigoo, he’s been married before, he has handled a pregnant woman, you can depend on him. Relax, you’re a newbie.” She tells.

I look down and sighed heavily.

She’s right. Why am I even scared? I should even be relieved that my husband is already experienced. There’s someone to guide me. I shouldn’t have hid it from him, even buying the Ovulation predictor kit by secret.

I was just afraid, that’s all. You know that’s my worst strength.

_ _ _

Arriving back home, I was welcomed by my husband right away who currently has Gaeul on his back. “Eomma has returned!~” I realize they were playing. Baekhyun grabs my hand and drag me along t their little run around the house. Gaeul was giggling hard as I force myself to enjoy as well, I laughed along them while skipping. Deep insid