When they got back to the vacation house, Dara was exhausted. She was leaning on Jjangmae's  arm as they entered the house.
  "Dara, you should clean yourself up and get some rest." Jjangmae kindly ordered her. "You're going to need your strength for the next few days."
  "I'm sorry. Unfortunately, we need to film an end-of-day scene." one of the PDs interrupted. "After that, we'll leave you alone."
  Dara, ever the professional, nodded her head in understanding. "It's okay."   After showering and the filming, the crew and managers bid goodnight to Dara and Seungri. The two of them were sitting side by side on one of the couches in the living room.
  "You okay, noona?" Seungri asked.
  "It's been a long day.." Dara replied.
  Seungri wanted to ask Dara for the story but he was trying so hard to restrain himself. He didn't want to burden her more with his questions.
  "Let's watch a movie." Dara suggested.
  Seungri nodded and asked Dara if she wanted to stay in the living room or in the small den near the back of the house. Dara opted for the den, not wanting to have to clean up the living room for filming. The den was smaller than the living room but just as cozy. Seungri the TV and started flipping channels.

Dara went to the kitchen to get them some snacks. On the way she dropped by the crew's rooms and mentioned that she and Seungri will be watching TV in the den. She asked the crew to let her know if the volume was too loud or if it was disturbing them. One of the PDs asked if they can film her preparing the snacks. Dara agreed. One of the cameramen immediately got one of the handhelds and started filming her. While the PD rushed to film Seungri as he chose a movie.
  Jjangmae, knowing his charge well, brought down some blankets and pillows from one of the bedrooms.
Before Jjangmae left them, he turned to Dara and gave her an affectionate hug. "Stay strong, Dara-yah. We're here for you."
  Dara nodded in his embrace, deeply touched by her manager's support.
  When Jjangmae left with the cameraman and PD who were filming them, Seungri turned to Dara. "I guess we're having a sleep over?"
  Dara just smiled and wrapped a blanket around herself. Seungri taking this as a sign that she didn't want to talk just took a bag of chips and opened it. They were sitting side by side on the couch watching one of Won Bin's movies. A movie he chose deliberately in hopes that it would somehow awaken the fan girl in Dara and cheer her up even just a little.
  He was so into the movie that he was startled when Dara leaned her head on his shoulder. She was staring straight at the TV while hugging one of the pillows. "I loved him, you know?" she started. "At that time in my life, I loved him and I think he might have loved me too."
  "You mean Won Bin?" Seungri asked and started to turn towards Dara, but she held his arm to stop him from moving.    "Looking back, I'm not sure how much of that was real and how much of it was the desperation to just not be lonely. But at that time, I loved him. They were going through their legal troubles with SM at that time. While for me, it was just a little after we debuted, after I featured in Jiyong's album." She smiled a little at that, recalling the happiness she and Jiyong felt at being able to share the stage and perform sweetly.

"That was a good time, wasn't it? At least for you?" Seungri asked her.
  "It was." She admitted. "But it was also a hurtful time. Since our debut people kept saying that I don't deserve to be in 2ne1, leaving harsh comments online and after Hello, it got worse. They said I don't deserve to be with Jiyong. They kept comparing me to other women he'd been linked to. Then the comparisons with CL started. It was just hard all around but I knew that and was prepared for it. I've gotten comments like those even when I was still in the Philippines and they just made me stronger and more determined to improve."
  "Do you remember when Jiyong and I stopped speaking to each other?" Seungri nodded in answer to her question. He could clearly recall that period because it was such a big issue. 2ne1 still had a dating ban but the developing relationship between Jiyong and Dara was so clear to everyone, they didn't even bother hiding it. They just didn't confirm anything or label anything. That was why everyone was surprised and worried when they started avoiding each other. When questioned, both parties denied there was anything wrong. And no matter how much Bom bullied Dara, no matter how much Youngbae guilt-tripped Jiyong and no matter how much Seungri annoyed them both they never spoke a word about it. They all suspected it was about Kiko but they never got confirmation. "That was before he started seeing Kiko.. We just.. It was too hard at that time.. We just ended up hurting each other over and over again because of the same reasons. It was like we were caught up in this destructive cycle and we jus decided that we had to stop and try to figure out if we really wanted to be with each other.. Afterwars, he started dating and you know how that went.."
  "I was heartbroken over my situation with Jiyong and combined with all the negative comments I kept getting, it just got to a point where it was too much." Dara continued. "You know what happened with Jaejoong at that time, everyone does but the behind the scenes story was so much worse. The three of them were just heartbroken and depressed. They were all so fragile and confused. This was something they believed in so much they fought for it. At the same time, they were uncertain if after doing so they will still be able to do the job that they are all so passionate about. You could say we met each other at a time when we were both looking for an escape. And we found that thanks to Seunghyun funnily enough."
  "TOP hyung knew about this?" Seungri was surprised. He knew that TOP and Jaejoong were friends but he didn't think TOP would have been able to keep something like this from Jiyong. He would have at the very least kept nagging Dara to tell Jiyong.
  "He didn't. At least not officially." Dara assured him. "He knew we that we hung out a couple of times.  After all he made the introductions. After that, I accidentally mentioned that I was meeting  up with Jae and he asked Jaejoong who confirmed it. I thought he would confront me but he never did. So I let it be. I don't think he mentioned it to Jiyong either, since he never asked me about it."
  "They weren't allowed to promote here in Korea so they promoted in Japan." She continued. "I would meet with him during breaks from our own promotions. My members thought I was in Busan or in the Philippines but in truth I was with Jae."
  Dara remembered the first time they did it. Run away. 
  She and Jaejoong were hanging out by Han River which seemed like such a travesty at that time because Han River was their place, hers and Jiyong's. She has just finished another bout of crying after confiding in Jaejoong about her meeting with YG. She was offered a part in a drama, it was a small part, a guest role but the story arc was good. And YG rejected the offer. He said she had to focus more on improving her skills in order to become a strength rather than a weakness to her group.
  He kindly suggested that the filming might cut in on her practice hours and doesn't she think she needs to improve her singing more before branching out on another venture. He also reminded her about the negative comments she's been receiving and he asked her if she still wanted this, wanted to be part of 2ne1. 
  She answered with a very determined "Of course!"
  He asked her to prove it because what she's been doing recently isn't good enough.   She knows he has a point. She knows her weakness. But still it hurts. Couple that with another one of Jiyong's dating scandals. She's just so exhausted.. Physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. She's just about ready to collapse.
  So she called Jaejoong. They've been meeting up a number of times since they found out being in each other's company somehow lessened the loneliness they felt. They'd call each other whenever they needed someone to talk to. Usually to vent their concerns, sometimes to forget either by food or alcohol.
  "Why am I never enough?" She asked her companion tearfully. "Whatever I do, it's always lacking."
  "You knew it would be like this." Jaejoong reminded her as he stared at the river. "You told me you wanted this despite all the negativity that comes with it."
  "I know." Even though they are each other's sounding boards, they don't make false promises or allow the each other to wallow in self-pity. "Sometimes, they all just pile up. People's expectations, my own shortcomings, my family's needs. Jiyong. Sometimes it's just too much!"
  He was quiet for a long time. Considering her words.   "Then run away with me." 
  "What?" Dara turned to him, confused.
  "I'm going to Japan tomorrow." He looked at his watch before continuing. "Well, later. We have a meeting with Avex to hopefully smooth things out with them. I could use your support."
  "But, Yoochun and Junsu.."
  "They don't have to know." He shrugged. "Not if you don't want them to."
  Dara bit her lip, considering Jaejoong's very tempting offer. YG did give her three days off. To sort of make it up to her for rejecting the drama and his harsh-but-true comments, she thought. She knew he wanted her to use it to clock in extra time in the practice rooms but she also knew that if she kept at this pace, she'd burn out soon. Jaejoong's offer of escape was so tantalizing. Could she really do it? Could she manage to disappear even for just a little while?
  "Look. You're feeling overextended. You're tired. Mind, body and soul tired. And if that isn't an excuse for a vacation, I don't know what is. Japan's the perfect place for you to recuperate. It has a lot of your favorite food plus sake! Also, I'm going to be there. Isn't that inducement enough?" He joked. "Besides, do you really want to be here when Jiyong's scandal with that girl is still the hot topic?"
  "No." She admitted.
  "Then, come on, Dara." He stood up from his seat next to her and extended a hand towards her. "Run away with me."
  Dara gave him a smile. So thankful for the man who is now her buoy in this sea of confusion and loneliness that she's in.  "What the hell. Let's do it." She told him finally accepting the hand he's offering.
  Three hours later, she was on her way to Japan. And therein started the emotional whirlwind that swept the two of them away.

 

" Noona?" Seungri woke her from her trance. He handed her a pack of tissue. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She didn't realize she's been crying all this time. assured him. "Just.. the memories, when they hit you.. I didn't expect that.."

She took a deep breath intending to continue but knowing she can't tell it fully. At least not yet. But Seungri deserves to know. He's been so good to her. So strong for her. He deserves to know. So she soldiered on. She told him what she could, and kept to herself what she couldn't.

"To make the long story short, we were each others escapes until we weren't." Dara told him. Breathing was harder now because she's been crying so much."He was there for me and I let my fear and selfishness get in the way of what we had.  Of course, there was the Jiyong factor but we both knew it was there. We just didn't expect it to turn out the way it did."

"It wasn't your fault, noona." Seungri told her. His voice filled with conviction and at that moment Dara loved him more than she ever did. His unwavering support for her touched her heart deeply. " You were also confused and scared. He can't blame you for that."

"But he can, Seungri, because I never told him why I ran away. It's actually a little funny. We started this whole thing because we were running away from our problems and I ended it by doing the same. Okay, maybe not funny." Dara told him. "I was too much of a coward to face him. YG Sajangnim and Baek Chang-ju-ssi both became involved when he trashed his hotel room in Japan. YG Family was there for an Avex event. They said he wouldn't stop and he kept asking for me. He just wouldn't calm down. Their CEO was worried enough that he asked for YG's help. That was the last time I saw him. Sajangnim sent me along with my members overseas for a project after that. But in truth, he was in his own way, protecting me."

 

______________________________________________________________

 

Jjangmae quietly opened the door to the den. The rest of the idols are coming in today and the rest of the crew are busy preparing for their arrival. 

He was supposed to help out but he wanted to check on Dara first. He knew about Jaejoong. He's been with Dara since 2ne1 debuted and they have formed a close bond. Of course, he knew. He never said anything about it unless she brought it up which meant they never talked about it.

He also knew what last night was about. That was why he was extra vigilant in making sure that Seungri and Dara were not disturbed. He sensed that the girl would finally be opening up to Seungri and he was right.

He entered the room and saw both idols sprawled on the couch, sleeping soundly. They look exhausted. He didn't know how they would manage to be the perky characters they are known to be when they film later. Thankfully, YG gave the PDs specific instructions to let the two s