Chapter Three:

Present

"I really wish you guys would stop spoiling me."

Daesung looked up from the takeout he was laying out on the coffee table and rolled his eyes at Seungri, "You enjoy the attention."

"Maybe just a little," the blonde answered with a laugh. Then he was yawning and placing a hand over his mouth, "I'm sorry."

"Tired?"

The younger man nodded, "It's been a long day."

"Are you sure you're up for eating?"

"I don't know, but I should try."

Daesung picked up one of the bowls he had brought with him and poured a small amount of vegetable broth from one of the containers. Carefully, he handed the hot liquid to Seungri, "Try this first."

"Thanks, hyung. You really didn't have to do all of this."

"You're my dongsaeng. I'll be taking care of you, whether you like it or not."

The younger man smiled, "I'm very lucky to have you looking after me."

Daesung sat on the couch next to Seungri and the two ate in comfortable silence. The TV was on in the background, rerunning an old drama. He found himself looking over at the younger man who was taking small, slow sips from his bowl of soup. The maknae was always so full of energy. Even now, when the blonde looked so worn out, so small, his eyes still shone with life.

Daesung feared that one day soon, that light inside of Seungri would be extinguished. The thought sent an uncomfortable chill down his spine.

-

2009

"Hyung?"

Daesung looked up from his book to see Seungri standing in the doorway of their room, "What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

He marked his place in the book before setting it down. He patted the open space on the bed, signaling the younger boy to sit. Seungri did so, situating himself on the edge of the mattress, looking tense.

"Are you alright?" Daesung asked.

The maknae nodded, but he was wringing his hands together. Ever since their appearance on Intimate Note, Daesung had taken to paying more attention to his teammate, trying to know him better. He was starting to get better at reading the younger boy's body language. The problem was that it was always so subtle that he was almost not sure if anything was wrong.

"Am I bothersome?" Seungri asked.

The older boy blinked, "Did someone say something to you?"

"No. I just hear things."

"Like what?"

"That I'm attention seeking and annoying."

"Seungri," the younger boy's face was blank, but Daesung could tell by his breathing that his feelings were hurt and he was trying to not cry, "Seungri, look at me."

Seungri shook his head, trying to hide his face in his hands. The older boy reached out and placed his hands on the maknae's shoulders, pulling him loser. The younger boy was shaking from the effort to not cry, perhaps embarrassed that he was being so openly emotional.

"Don't listen to those words," Daesung said, his voice soft and soothing, hugging his teammate to his chest. Half a year ago, this moment would have been awkward. It would have been strange for them to have such close contact. But now, all he felt was concern for Seungri. He also felt a slow burning anger rising in him as he speculated as to who could have said those hurtful things about their maknae. "The people who say that don't know who you really are."

"But what if they're right?" the younger boy asked, his voice trembling.

"They'll only be right if you allow them to be. Don't let them be right." He placed a hand on Seungri's chin and lifted the younger boy's face. Those eyes, filled with tears and hurt made his chest feel tight with grief, "You're special. People don't understand that. We do. That's why we love you."

Then suddenly it wasn't sadness shining in Seungri's eyes, but surprise and hope, "Hyung, do you really mean that?"

It was then that Daesung realized it was the first time he had expressed his feelings towards the maknae. He smiled and held the younger boy tighter, "Yes. I mean that."

-

Present

Daesung tidied up, putting away leftovers as Seungri slept. He couldn't help noticing how little the younger man had eaten. Just a bite here and there. Even the broth was hardly touched. He shook his head, knowing that there wasn't much he could do, but seeing the barely touched food made him worry.

As he was wiping down the coffee table, he noticed that the floor was also in need of a good sweeping. Aside from dust and dirt, he saw that there were strands of blonde hair as well. He had heard from Jiyong about how Seungri's hair was starting to fall out and from the looks of it, it was getting worse.

He looked at the younger man, curled up under a blanket on the sofa, lightly snoring. Seungri looked so young then, so normal, a little more sickly perhaps, but anyone without knowledge would have thought he looked healthy.

Daesung wanted to reach out and touch the maknae's face, but didn't want to risk waking his teammate.

How much longer can this last? He wondered. How much longer can we keep acting like everything's normal? This wasn't Seungri taking sick days to recuperate. This was Seungri fighting to increase his chances of survival against something none of them could see.

How long can you hide behind that smile? Daesung desperately wanted to ask. He didn't know if he could ever brace himself for the day when their maknae would stop laughing.

-

2012

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Yang Hyunsuk was deathly calm.

The five of them stood there, unable to say a single word. Daesung knew this was about Seungri. The photos and story about him having habits in bed. They didn't all have to be in the same room, but Daesung knew this was to drive home a point.

"Well?" the CEO asked, his voice never rising. It was scary how level he was being.

"I'm sorry," Seungri finally spoke as he stepped forward and bowed deeply. He turned to face each of them and one by one went down the row repeating himself, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

When the maknae stood before him, it was the first time Daesung had seen the younger man's eyes so lifeless and filled with regret. It was the first time he had ever seen those eyes devoid of the energy and joy he was so accustomed to.

"I'll reflect on my mistakes and do my best to restore the team's image. Please try to find it in your hearts to forgive me."

Their CEO only sighed in annoyance, "Out. All of you."

Seungri was the first to rush to the stairway after walking out of the office, breaking free of the group. Daesung looked to the others, but no one was making a move to follow their teammate. He gave them all a questioning look, but it didn't matter, they weren't going to do anything.

Daesung shook his head and ran to the stairwell, hoping to catch up with the younger boy.

"Seungri!" he called into the stairwell as he made his way down, taking two steps at a time to try and close the gap between them. "Seungri, wait!"

He found the maknae several floors below, just sitting in a corner, knees pulled up to his chest.

"Seungri."

"Leave me alone."

"Is that any way to talk to your hyung?"

"Please leave me alone, hyung."

Daesung sighed and slid down to seat himself next to the other boy, "No."

"I figured that'd be your answer."

"Obviously."

Seungri laughed then, running a hand over his face. He looked so tired, "This is what we get for being famous, I guess."

"No, this is what you get for being a player."

"That too."

Daesung put his arm around the younger boy's shoulders, "Are you alright?"

"I will be."

"Good," he held Seungri for a bit longer, neither speaking.

He was proud of their maknae, despite the recent scandal. His teammate learned over time to develop a thicker skin, to take things in stride and let all the negativity leave him like water off a duck's back. This incident will take longer to clear up, but he knew Seungri would make it out with head held high, looking toward the future.

-

Present

Daesung had his hands clasped together tight as he reflected on his day and visit with Seungri. He took a deep breath, trying to push back the unwavering feelings of sadness that threatened to assault his heart. He could feel the prick of tears in his eyes, but he refused to cry. Seungri wouldn't want him to cry.

If you're listening, Daesung prayed, harder than he ever had before, Please watch over us. Watch over Seungri.

His faith was all he knew to rely on in moments of darkness.

Please.

Yet, he couldn't help but to feel that too often bad things happened to good people.

Please.

He couldn't help but feel as if sometimes, no one was listening.

Please.

He could feel his beliefs being tested.

If you're there at all, please do something.

-

Note: Thanks to everyone who has commented and read so far! It'sreally fun for me to write this. My timelines may not be completely right, so please do forgive me for that.