.

I’m lost, I know it, I can feel it, but I can’t seem to bring myself back. My dad’s been acting a little strange like watching me while I eat which is barely anything and hardly ever.

I just walk through my days now, not really paying attention to what’s going on around me. My teachers have started to grumble about missed assignments. I have to be more focused.

Today I almost left the house in my pajamas, my hair was a mess, had I not taken a look in the rear view mirror I would’ve been mortified.

I’m at my locker and this Shindong is making an of himself.

“So since Kim doesn’t want you anymore does that mean I can hit it? I don’t mind sloppy seconds but could we do it sometime soon? Because you’re beginning to look like .”

There was a lot of laughter following that remark.

I just stood there not because I was afraid of him or his words, but because I just didn’t care.

He walked back over to me egged on by his friends.

“So what do you say Dara? You’re not so high and mighty now are you? Not since the Kims ditched your . So how about we go behind the bleachers and ?"

Jaejoong came out of nowhere and grabbed Shindong's by his throat. He picked him up and slammed him into the lockers. Without one word he just stared into his eyes until Shindong was kicking his legs and trying to pull Jae’s hand away while fighting for breath.

With a flick of his wrist he threw Shindong to the floor and walked away.

Not...one...word. Damn! He really is one hot crazy boy.

Shinhye came over to me and put her arms around me, but something inside me had snapped.

Shrugging her hand away I went back out the doors and headed for my truck.

I spent the whole day out on the cliffs at the Beach just thinking, trying to put things into perspective.

I started at the beginning. No, not mine and Joshua’s but mine and my parents. Especially Dad. We’d had a fine relationship before the divorce that I remembered, kinda. Then one day he was just not there and I was in a new place with Mom as my sole provider.

I had to learn  quick how to fend for myself, how to dodge the octopus like hands of the different men she brought home.

I watched her use and be used by everyone in her life.

I remember being left alone. A lot.

I remember needing to be held and getting a yelling at or a beating for being a whiny brat instead.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I recalled my horrible childhood. I saw myself as I was now, always expecting the worst, always having to be in control, always having to prove myself.

It made me tired.

I tried to shy away from thoughts of Jae but that was too hard, I missed him so much it hurt.

I rewound our time together in my head and my heart as the waves crashed against the rocks below.

───

JAE

I’m going to pound the ever living out of Shindong’s as soon as he comes through those doors. ing douche put his hands on what’s mine.

I knew when I turned the corner and saw the crowd gathering, I knew that she was somehow involved. When I’d heard the he was saying to her....let’s just say that if Joongki hadn’t pulled me back I would’ve really hurt the .

He’s lucky I was cooled down by the time I got my ing hands on him. And why the was she just standing there taking that anyway?

Where was the foul mouthed bad that was always ready to tear me a new one?

“Jae, let’s go.”

“No.”

“Come on lil bro, he’s not worth it.”

“Did you see her face, see looked ing broken.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this bro but Shindong didn’t do that to her.”

I looked at him. I knew what he was saying.

“I don’t know what happened between you two. You never said anything but I know it had to be bad. I’m your big brother, I’m with you all the way, but bro, if you feel for this girl what I know you do, you gotta end this . Shindong’s just the first of many have you thought of that? Have you thought of her moving on and being with some other guy.....?”

I had him by the front of his shirt ready to pound the out of him before I knew what I was doing.

“See what I mean? What the do you think’s gonna happen if you let this go on? Did you see her bro, have you taken a look at her lately? No you havent. You’re too busy hiding away from her to punish her, for what? I don’t know. But bro, I always expected better of you. This is not the man I thought you would be.”

He turned and walked away and got into his car. That Jessica was smirking at me. She’s been very happy lately with Dara out of the picture.

I saw Shindong came out the door with his minions. I walked toward them, separating him from his boys with a hand in his chest. I pushed him back against the wall.

“You ever go near what’s mine again, you’ll disappear.”

I left him there and got into my car, Joongki was right he wasn’t worth it.

I went straight to my room as soon as I got home, not bothering to change or open the lights in my room.

I had a lot to think about, I’m not a total , well not all the time, but I had seen her today for the first time since she’d been back, I mean really looked at her and my baby was almost emaciated. That wasn’t I wanted.

I closed my eyes and sig

Then I felt something move, someone was in my room! I could feel it the moment the person entered the room.

“How did you managed get in here?”

The shadow moved but said nothing, a familiar strawberry and cream scent filled my nostrills. Right there, I instinctively knew that she was my visitor. But did not let on.

“I came to take back what’s mine.”

.