Simply put, I lived with what Seunghyun-ssi had said.

It was Seokjin oppa’s fault. He told me a non-committal, non-believable statement, and I was a fool to believe him. Now I wanted to throw myself to Han River and die there. Unfortunately for me, I know how to swim…

Seunghyun-ssi didn't go back to Sonic after that incident in the house. I'm still angry with the attitude he showed the last time I saw him, and I expected he would apologize, or even prove to me that he is waiting…

I guess I should really not believe what a drunk says.

It's the fifth day. Every day when the door of the Sonic opens, I would peek and expect him to be standing there, but it never occurred. I also developed a habit of fishing my phone from my pocket every time I feel it vibrate, and would instantly get disappointed if it wasn’t from Seunghyun-ssi. One time I almost shouted at Daesung oppa for calling.

At home, I would sit and wait for the doorbell to ring (the members of the house were not ringing the doorbell, obviously since we live in the house) and see him outside with an apologetic smile, but no Seunghyun either. So I would just sit by the foot of the couch, the way I sat there back then when he slept there drunk, and Cloud would accompany me whenever I do it. The guys knew better so they made efforts to make me talk about something else or make me do something to keep me busy (especially Taehyung). Sometimes they shrug their shoulders off and just ignored me, which I’m very thankful that they did.

Five days that I'm suspecting myself that I'm the one ― the only one ― who's waiting.

And I hate waiting like I hated getting hurt.

Tomorrow will be different, I told myself. If he won't come tomorrow, then it will be the end. I won't wait for him, ever again.

After the finality in my mind has been made, I saw Daesung oppa coming in. Everybody in the place are used to idols coming here in secret that even my staffs already find it boring, but Daesung oppa always comes here with nothing on his face, just a smile. Sometimes so big, and sometimes timid, but still a smile. Right now, the smile is gone.

He looked at me and I already knew what he wanted to say: I need you now. I nodded and tried to tell, Okay, then he continued upstairs.

I sat across him after I took his order. He looked at me after sipping his espresso, and frowned once more. His eyes showed no glint. It’s like a radio producing static voices – you can hear them out, but for some reason you can’t understand how or why did the sound came out to be like that. I don’t exactly know why Daesung oppa would be sad – so sad his face is blank – like that.

 

“Girls are so hard to understand.” He started. “I should drink four bottles of wine to understand them.” He then looked at me like he finally came into the realization. “You know what, I should really drink.”

“What's the problem?” I asked. He sighed deeply, looking at his mug of cappuccino.

“When a man loves, he would do anything. But it seems like every girl I like only likes my money.” He sipped once more, and I pursed my lips before I can say, ‘It’s because you have more for yourself'. Right now upsetting Daesung oppa with my sarcastic comments would not do him any good. “It's okay if it's body, but no. Money, and the evil it does. Tsk tsk, sometimes I wish I lost all of these.”

“Hell, oppa, be careful what you wish for.” I said, but he ignored me.

“You know Sunhee, you're not like them. How I wish...”

“You know we're just friends.” I cut before he can even wish for more impossible things to happen. Ages ago we both agreed we're just friends, and the more we can expect is best friends, but not girl-and-boyfriend. He's the one who said that, since he doesn't want me to expect too much from him (like I will).

“I know.” He said almost bitterly. “But then, you can be one of my friend's girlfriend, so they won't feel what I'm feeling.”

“You know I'm too busy for that.” I replied, bewildered. How did the topic become me?

He laughed with no humor. “Or because of that crap ex-boyfriend of yours?” I'm about to answer but he didn't let me. “It's been, what, a year or so since you broke up. You need to move on.”

“I already forgave him. And I'm not thinking him, not until you mentioned him.” I sighed. “Anyway. Who was it?” I asked, now curious. If Daesung oppa wished all he has will lose, he should be serious with the girl. And I want to know her, just to see if she really has a thick face.

“What?” Daesung oppa seemed to be awake from his trance and now his full attention went to me. I looked at him.

“Who’s the girl?”

“Really, it was nothing Sunhee.”

“Oppa, you are acting like that, and you say it was nothing?” I asked frustratingly. He is just so impossible.

“It’s not worth knowing her, I tell you.” He said with finality. “She likes money more, she’s impulsive, and our worlds do not belong.” My mind caught his last word and it kept buzzing in my head. Even Daesung oppa believes what most of them believe… “Sunhee, did I say something wrong?”

“You need a drinking buddy?” I suddenly ask. He raised his brow. “You know, I could drink with you later.”

“What’s happening to you?” He asked suspiciously. I shrugged it off and acted alright, but he’s still narrowing his already narrow eyes.

 

He really know me, and I was tempted to say it, but I decided I wasn’t going to tell him the dumb things I did this past five days. I just don’t want him to expect about me and Seunghyun-ssi. After all, he believes that two people must be in the same life status before they can truly love each other.

 

“It was nothing, really. I just feel the need to accompany my best guy friend, you know.”

“Okay then.” I silently thanked him. I know he’s still suspicious but at least he did not press me. “See you later. Go back to work now Sunhee-ah.”

 

~-~-

 

“Jimin, it's already late at night, why are the girls still not here?” Yoongi hyung asked Jimin when he got out of their room. Yoongi sat on the long couch and lied there, taking the chips to his stomach while watching TV.

“They'll come home, don't worry.” Jimin replied. He was comfortably seated on the carpeted floor and playing with his phone.

 

Jimin resisted to shake his head. Lately, Yoongi had been more and more obsessive with the girls. Sometimes Jimin wonder if they can still breathe. He has his times of worrying too, especially when it comes to Yohee, but Yoongi was acting too much. After his and Sunhee’s fight (will that be called a fight? Yoongi just acted cold and all, so Jimin is guessing he should call it the Min Sharehouse Cold War instead) he became like that, calling them at exact twelve, and if they did not answer back he will send one of them to where the girls are.

One night he asked Taehyung to go to where Taehee is since he is the boyfriend, and Taehyung had to drive from Mapo (that’s where the Min Sharehouse stands) to Yongsan only to find Taehee engrossed in brainstorming with her workmates. Taehyung said Taehee even got angry at him for suddenly showing up, although Jimin thought they had a good night too (Taehyung stayed there for the night). Now when Yohee is the one that needs fetching Jimin instantly became the man for the job. Not that he complains, since he can watch the boys around Yohee with a warning look, but still…

His Yoongi hyung is just too much.

Now the three girls and Seokjin are gone and it’s only the three of them. Seokjin is probably at school doing late-night researches, and Daesung came to the house and told them that he and Sunhee will go out for a drink. Although Jimin can tell Yoongi would not agree (Jimin too, did not want to agree. He just don’t like the guy), he can’t pinpoint the reasons why he shouldn’t. They at least respect Daesung and his friendship with Sunhee even if they only met at Sonic sometimes (although now they see him in the house too). So Yoongi said yes, given that Daesung should drive Sunhee back.

Taehee and Yohee comes home late oftentimes, and sometimes they, especially Taehee, don’t come home at all, so Jimin doesn’t know why Yoongi acts cranky again.

 

“Yohee's the only one who didn't answer my call.” Taehyung reported. I looked at him.

“She has a practice, Taehyungie.” I said.

“They always answer our calls.” Yoongi argued. “Why don't you fetch her, Jimin?”

“Again?” He’s getting tired with the cycle, and he’s guessing Yohee too. Watching the girl you like, every day, is okay, but it has also downsides. For one, Jimin is sure Yohee didn’t feel like she misses Jimin anymore (if, Yohee really feels that way). “I'm doing something, hyung.”

“Park Jimin.” A warning tone. Jimin sighed and resisted to shake his head once more. He always dreaded what this hyung might do if Jimin don't follow him. Maybe he'll whack Jimin’s head, maybe sack him and throw him at Han River and many other maybes that he doesn't want to imagine and experience, so he stood up.

“Okay, fine.” He said and walked out.

 

Once he’s already at the dance studio of Cube, he saw her talking to one of her co-dancers. Jimin once a backup dancer myself, of JYP, but he decided he could run his own dance school, and so he followed that path months ago when he and his partner Hoseok got enough money. Yohee didn't. It's her dream, to work with Gikwang and Peniel and most often Daesung even if he's from YG. Ugh, I hate those men, Jimin thought bitterly.

He was a former back-up dancer himself that he knows it’s okay for girls to wear outfits that will show their toned abs and curves, and back in the days he didn’t even bother when girls wear those kinds of outfits, but when it comes to Yohee, he finds it disturbing. Sometimes he even felt violated by Yohee’s choice of clothing, but he keeps on reminding himself that he isn’t her boyfriend… yet (yes, a yet in the end. Jimin is not the one who loses hope that fast)

Now Yohee is wearing a blue tank top that showed her lower ab and tight pants. She had her cap so Jimin can’t see clearly if she was smiling while talking to the guy or if she’s showing her annoyed, I’m-not-interested face she sometimes makes when talking to someone. Jimin didn’t waste any more time and knocked the glass door. Yohee looked at it and pushed the door open once she saw Jimin. Jimin took a step back.

 

“Jiminie.” She said. “Did Yoongi oppa send you here again?”

“Yeah.” Jimin said with all the sourness she can muster. She snorted.

“Really, he must stop. It's not like I'll move somewhere else.”

“Tell that to Yoongi hyung.” He replied. Yohee flashed something in her big, brown eyes and Jimin doesn’t know what exactly it is. Maybe disappointment on his answers like he didn’t care about her, or maybe resentment and a decision to tell Yoongi her thoughts later, but before Jimin can decide the look in her eyes already disappeared.

“I'll tell him later, don't worry.” She replied in a faster tone. “Are you going home already?”

“Why, should I wait for you?” Jimin asked, and it’s already late when he realized it sounded as if he’s pleading. Now he want the floor to swallow him. Yohee knows he likes her, alright, but he won’t just let himself to look as if he desperately wants her, even if it’s true.

“Sure, I'll be back in two hours.” She smiled so brightly.

 

Jimin began to think Yohee wants him to be with her tonight. It was the first time Yohee agreed (but it was also the first time he asked) on him staying there. He got happy and imagined they were in a garden full of daisies instead inside a building… he can even smell daisies from where he is. He is sure Yohee feels shy but at all happy like him, and surely she's about to kiss him when suddenly she pulled the door open again.

She went in, the last view of the garden popped off his mind, along with the scent now realized was Yohee’s. Tsk, now he thought, why does Yohee keep on changing scents? Can she have a ‘trademark’ like Sunhee’s coffee-and-cinnamon scent or Taehee’s vanilla-ish musk? She’s confusing me, really!

Jimin sighed. He knows it’s not only Yohee’s scent that kept confusing him. But he tried to let go. At least he already said what he felt with her, and she now holds the decision. If she decides it would be for better if they stayed friends then it was fine, but if she decide that they try dating then it would feel better…

Still trying is sometimes hard. Waiting would be fine if the results are predictable, but like her scent Yohee is an unpredictable woman and waiting for her answer was keeping Jimin nuts. So he wished Yohee would be good and end the torture sooner. 

 

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A merry Christmas to everyone! Well I'm aware that not all of us are celebrating Christmas but still... let us all be merry!

A chapter for you before the day ends. Please do not forget to say your thoughts in the comments section, thanks!

 

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