“J-Jeonghan,” Joshua said. Joshua and I both looked at each other with wide eyes after Jeonghan closed the door to the rooftop behind him slowly walking over to us. “W-what are you doing up here?”

            “I came up here to get you guys,” Jeonghan said slowly. “Because manager hyung came by dropping food off for us. But I came up here and found you two kissing instead. What exactly is going on between the two of you?”

            He stood in front of us crossing his arms as he waited for the two of us to say something. I took a deep breath feeling the blood draining my face. I’d never expected Joshua and I to get caught let alone be kissing for the second time to begin with. I looked at my cousin trying to figure out what to say as Joshua’s hand found mine holding it tightly.

            “You two were kissing,” Jeonghan said again. “So I’ll ask you again, what is going on between the two of you?” He tapped his foot. “Well someone say something.”

            “Well,” Joshua said quietly looking down. “T-this isn’t the first time we kissed each other. This is the second time.” Jeonghan let out a light gasp as he widened his eyes. “I kissed him at the recording studio when we re-recorded Adore U.”

            “Why did you kiss him back then Joshua?” Jeonghan asked. “Is that why the two of you had been so awkward with each other since that studio session?” I nodded my head as we all sat back down on the ground. Clearly we would be up here for a while due to all the explaining Joshua and I had to do.

            “I kissed him partly because of how he got me the extra parts in the song,” Joshua said. “And partly because I was questioning myself and I knew I could kiss him because you know… he’s… you know gay.” I bit my lip, it still hurt a little that, that was one of the main reasons behind the first kiss between us.

            “And so we came up here to talk about it,” I said continuing. “Because someone told me I should talk it out with Joshua. And so we did and I told him my story of how I came out. You know the one with Mark and all of them.” Jeonghan nodded his head. “And then it just happened.”

           After we’d finished explaining what had happened all these past few days and the past hour we had been up here a thick silence fell upon the three of us. None of us really knew exactly what to say or do next.

            “So do the two of you like each other?” Jeonghan asked slowly after the silence had wrapped around us. “Are you two?” Joshua and I looked at each other. We hadn’t really thought about what would happen after the second kiss we shared. This kiss had been way more intense and passionate then the first one because we had both wanted it.

            “I don’t know,” I answered. “We haven’t really thought about that in the moment when everything happened.” Joshua nodded as his hand found my leg and I placed my hand on top of his. “What do you think Joshua?”

            “I’m not too sure either,” Joshua said looking at the ground. “Questioning my uality out loud has never been something I’ve ever done before. I’m not supposed to be this way but I just can’t help it. And I don’t know what to do now after this kiss.” He shook his head closing his eyes as a tear slipped down his face. “This is all so confusing for me.”

            “Joshua,” Jeonghan said. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But if you have the littlest want to date my cousin I would give you my blessing.” He smiled at the both of us. “Just I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

            I looked over at Joshua as he continued to have tears fall out of his eyes. I slowly wrapped my arms around him as he cried into my chest. I looked over at Jeonghan as he got up. He nodded his head before leaving the two of us to figure all of this out by ourselves.

            “I’m not going to push you into anything,” I said quietly. “I like you Joshua but if you’re not ready for anything we can wait. You still need to find yourself some more and if you rush into something you’re not ready for it’ll only hurt the two of us even more.”

            Joshua looked up at me as he wiped his eyes smiling lightly. He placed a light kiss on my cheek before the two of us stood up to head back down to the dorm.

            “Thank you Skyler,” Joshua said holding my hand as we took the stairs down slowly taking our time. “And as soon as I find out who I am I will let you know or you’ll know. But I have a question.”

            “What is it?” I asked as we stopped just outside of the dorm room. He looked down before taking a breath.

            “Who was the one you talked to about… us?” Joshua asked nervously. “Who else knows about the two of us?”

            “Don’t freak out,” I answered. “I only told Wonwoo because he saw the signs of us being awkward. And it turns out he has feelings for Mingyu so him and I could relate keeping who we are a secret. But you need to keep it a secret.”

            “I will keep that a secret,” Joshua said nodding my head. “I won’t tell anyone. I wouldn’t want people finding out about me or you either.” I nodded before we walked back into the dorm to join the rest of the members eating the food our manager had dropped off for us.

********

            Finally the day for the music festival was upon us and we piled into the vans as the managers drove us to the venus through the Seoul city traffic.

            “Are you excited?” Mingyu asked looking at me as we sat together in the middle seat of the van. “This is your first ever debut with us officially. This is so huge for us and especially for you hyung.”

            “I’m more nervous then anything,” I said looking over at him. “What if I mess up my lines or my voice cracks.” Mingyu found my hand holding it on his leg causing me to blush a little from the sudden contact.

            “You have nothing to be worried about,” Mingyu said. “You’ve been practicing for so much you’re going to do awesome! I know it!” I pouted taking a deep breath as he rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. “You’ll do fine hyung. I know it.” He leaned over resting his head on my shoulder. “Let me sleep now.”

            I looked over at him as he closed his eyes quickly falling asleep on my shoulder. I heard a cough from behind me as I turned around seeing Joshua with a frown on his face. We made eye contact as he realized I was helpless in this situation. I leaned my free arm towards the back after noticing Wonwoo and Jeonghan were asleep next to Joshua.

            Joshua smiled as he grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together. I smiled back at him as we continued to hold hands for a while enjoying our quiet moment of peace before the hustle and bustle of the music festival would hit us.

            After a long time of being couped up in the van we made it to the venue where the music festival would be. We headed straight to the backstage area to change into our outfits before we would get our hair and makeup done.

            “Oh look it’s Monsta X,” Soonyoung said after we left the changing room. “Hello.” We all bowed as the seven memebers of Monsta X bowed back to us.

            “Good luck today,” their leader Shownu said smiling at us. “Ah you’re the new member of the group?” He looked directly at me. “Skyler right?”

            “Yes,” I said nodding my head bowing again. “I am Skyler it is very nice to meet you all.”

            “Congrats on making it into the group man,” Wonho said patting me on the back. “Today is going to be a lot of fun for all of us.” Their manager came shortly after telling them they had rehearsal as we went back to our room.

            “All right guys,” manager hyung said. “I’m going to get you a little something to eat while everyone gets their hair and makeup done. I’ll be back soon. You’re rehearsal will be in about two hours okay? Festival starts this evening at five.” He gave us a thumbs up before leaving for the food run.

            “Skyler-shi this way please,” one of the stylists said. I sat down in the chair she motioned at as she began to comb my hair. “You have very nice hair Skyler.” I smiled as she continued to comb my hair tousling my bangs to the side. “Are you excited for your debut performance?”

            “Yes,” I answered. “This is all like a dream to me. I never thought my family visit would turn into me making a career as a k-pop idol.” She smiled as she finished up my hair before proceeding to put makeup on my face mainly around my eyes.

            After my makeup and hair were done I left the chair to wait with the other finished members. I caught my reflection in the mirror taking a deep breath when I saw myself. I’d never worn eyeliner before, it made me look more mysterious. My eyes travelled up to my black hair frowning a little bit, maybe next time I would be able to dye my hair. That would be fun.

            “Wow Skyler hyung,” Vernon said as he came up beside me. “You look really handsome all made up.” He clapped me on the shoulder as we headed over to the couch sitting down on it to wait for everyone else to be finished. “I’m excited to be performing on stage with other rookie groups like us.”

            “Yeah,” I said nodding my head. “Gfriend, Oh My Girl, and Monsta X are here. This is going to be very fun.” I took a deep breath clasping my hands together. “If only I could calm down my nerves a little.”

            “Take deep breathes,” Vernon said. “What I usually do is close my eyes, take deep breathes, relax myself and feel all the stress and nerves leaving me. Because I know that when I get on stage this is what I was meant to do.”

            I smiled closing my eyes like he said continuing to take long deep breathes feeling the nerves inside of me flowing out of my body. Was this really what I was meant to do? Was music really what I was meant to do with my life? At least for the time being this was what I was meant to do. I was taking my hobby and making a job out of it, who wouldn’t have fun doing that?

            “Thanks Vernon,” I said smiling. “I feel a little bit better now. We’re going to kill it on stage.”

            “That’s right we are,” Vernon said smiling back at me. “We’ve practiced really hard, sound great, look great, we’re going to own that stage.” Soon everyone was finished getting ready except for Jeonghan who got extra time to make sure his luscious locks were brushed to silky perfection.

            “Food is here,” manager hyung said as he came back into the room. He gave each of us a small box that had kimchi, meat, and kimbap in it. “We’ll have a proper meal after your performance is over. How does BBQ sound for all of you?”

            “Awesome!” Seungcheol exclaimed voicing our answer for all fourteen of us. None of us were going to say no to BBQ. It was way to delicious and we could eat a lot of it.

            “Then BBQ it is,” manager hyung said. “Everyone work really hard today! Seventeen fighting!”

            “Let’s eat I’m starving,” Mingyu said as he ripped open his box to begin eating. “Ugh I can’t wait for dinner tonight.”

            “Slow down Mingyu,” Wonwoo said nudging him lightly. “If you eat too fast you won’t get as full.” Mingyu looked around seeing the majority of us taking our time to eat the little food we were given. He smiled at Wonwoo as he began to eat a little slower. The food was good but it wasn’t anything spectacular I was sure it was the food that the festival was giving all of the groups here that were performing today.

            When the afternoon was through it finally hit five o’clock and it was time for the music festival to start. The two hosts walked onto the stage introducing the festival before the first group performed, Gfriend.

            “They are so good,” Jeonghan said as we watched the TV moniter in our room as they danced and sang to their debut song Glass Bead. After them Monsta X came out for their intense performance of Tresspass.

            “They’re so cool,” Seungcheol said as we continued to watch the screen. We were going to be performing last. “They have a lot of charisma.” He moved his hands along to the song as the whole hip-hop team was in awe and enthralled by their performance. Looking at the screen Monsta X definitely looked so powerful on stage hitting their moves so sharp and crisp.

            “Seventeen please come out to wait backstage,” one of the PD’s said looking into the room. We got up leaving the changing room heading to wait backstage as Oh My Girl got on stage to perform their song Cupid. I smiled as I watched them since back home I had listened to their album and I thought that it was really good.

            I mouthed along to the lyrics as I caught glimpses of them from where we were standing, watching them move around on stage. The crowd cheered for them signaling they were done.

            “Now we have our last group to perform,” one of the hosts said. “You know them as the hot new trendy boy group Seventeen. This is a very special performance for them.” We all stood in a circle around each other with our arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders getting ourselves amped up for the performance.

            “That’s right,” the other host said. “This is special because this is the first performance by them as not thirteen but fourteen. So let’s welcome Seventeen to the stage!”

            “Seventeen fighting!” we all yelled before we ran onto the stage getting into our starting positions as the crowd erupted into loud cheers for us. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as the music started to play and I felt my body moving to the dance moves I had spent so long learning and dancing with the other members.

            Being on stage felt like something so different then all the hours of practice in the practice rooms. I was now a part of the performance that people all over the world would be watching from their computers. It truly felt surreal that I was on stage singing and performing for so many people.

            I looked out into the audience as I was singing my parts and the audience was cheering just as loudly for me as they were for the other members. I smiled to myself when Joshua sang his extra parts in the chorus and the fans screamed loudly for him.

            We ended the performance falling onto the ground as the audience screamed loudly for us. It felt amazing to hear all of them screaming for us. It was amazing how many people were here to support us. I got up off of the ground as we left the stage to be greeted by Gfriend in the hallway.

            “You guys sounded and looked great,” their group’s leader Sowon said to us. “You guys are very talented.”

            “Thank you,” Seungcheol said as we all bowed our heads to them. “You all were truly terrific on stage when you opened the festival for all of us.” After our little exchange we went back into the changing room to get out of our outfits. BBQ dinner was waiting for us!

            “You guys did great!” manager hyung said clapping his hands. “As promised we’re going to eat BBQ!” We all broke into loud cheers as the outfits were off and our regular clothes were put back on. We thanked a bunch of people from the PD staff, to the hosts, on the way out before stuffing into the two vans heading away to the venue back in the direction of the dorm.

            “Skyler hyung,” Jun said turning around from the front row of the van to face me. “You did awesome out there.” He smiled at me giving me a thumbs up. “The performance was great!”

            “Thank you,” I said smiling back at him. I felt a hand clap me on the shoulder from behind as I looked to see Joshua smiling at me brightly. “That was awesome to be performing on stage. I didn’t realize how amazing it feels to be up there in front of hundreds of people.”

            “You did amazing,” Mingyu said smiling at me. “We all did amazing.” Jun nodded his head in agreement as we continued to drive slowly due to the Seoul city traffic. “Now we get to eat our hearts out with some BBQ!”

********

            “BBQ!” we yelled as we got out of the vans when we reached the same BBQ restaurant I had eaten my first night in Seoul. We headed inside getting a huge table ordering tons of meat for us to eat.

            “I just want to say today turned out really well,” Seungcheol said standing up. “We all did amazing and I’m so proud of us!” We all clapped our hands as he sat down. “Seventeen fighting!”

            “Onto the next now,” Woozi said as he continued to cook the meat on the grill in front of him. “I already am in the works of making songs for our next comeback.” He smiled as he focused on the meat. I got a feeling the gears in his brain right now were already writing some masterpiece of the comeback.

            “Let’s eat,” Wonwoo said smiling. We all picked up our chopsticks immediately digging in at the finished meat as we all laughed and joked around the table enjoying each other’s company. I’d never felt so in my element then I did now smiling and laughing with a group of boys who I looked at more then just friends.

            After spending hours at the BBQ place we sluggishly walked out of the restaurant in the direction of the dorm. We were full of meat and I was ready to knock out and sleep. We had didn’t have any major schedules for the time being so I was happy to rest for a while. Training for the festival had been a lot of work, but I knew in the future I would be working even harder and I was looking forward to that.

            “Home at last,” Dino said running to the room where his bed was in. He flopped down onto the bed as I came in shortly after, my eyes already closing as I fell down on a bed ready to go to sleep.

            “Hyung wrong bed,” Vernon said looking down at me. I heard him laughing at me but I was too tired to open my eyes. I just wanted to sleep. I mumbled something incoherent as I heard him shuffle over to his bed.

            I felt someone get into the bed with me as I was getting closer to going to bed. I assumed it was Jeonghan because we were still sharing a bed at the moment. Everything soon faded to black as I fell asleep knocking out completely. I didn’t even realize the bed I had fallen asleep in wasn’t even mine.

            Sleep! Man it felt so good to sleep after all the work I had put into the festival so I didn’t wake up until it was well past early morning. I blinked slowly as I opened my eyes to face the wall. I felt someone’s arm wrapped around me causing me to frown. Jeonghan never slept with his arm around me. I slowly turned my body till I was facing the other side to see who the arm belonged to.

            “What?” I exclaimed jolting up in the bed. I heard a grumble as I looked down at Joshua. “How did I get here?” I heard more mumbling before Joshua sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes until he turned to face me.

            “Good morning,” he said smiling at me. “You must’ve been really tired cause you sort of passed out in my bed as soon as we got back from dinner. I didn’t want to wake you.” I ran a hand through my messy hair as I processed everything.

            “That would explain why I’m so close to the ground,” I said looking up seeing the bottom of the second bed above me. “I’m sorry I kind of slept in your bed.”

            “It’s fine,” Joshua said looking sheepish. “I didn’t mind.” I felt heat crawling up my face as I cupped my cheeks to hide any blush that was threatening to show on my face. “Did you sleep well?”

            “Yeah I did,” I answered. “I was exhausted yesterday.” Joshua nodded laughing a little. Clearly anyone could have saw that I was exhausted after coming home. “I am glad we have a break for a while though.”

            “Me too,” Joshua agreed. “We don’t have any major things planned for a while. So we can relax a little bit before things get hectic again.”

            “Me three,” Jeonghan said leaning his head down from the top bunk of the bed. “I see you slept well Skyler.” I nodded as he got down from the bed standing by the side of Joshua’s bed. “You two I swear.” He shook his head before heading out of the room laughing at us.

            “I’m sorry again,” I said quickly as I stretching my legs out in front of me.

            “Again it’s okay,” Joshua said giving me a small hug. “Besides.” He smiled lightly looking down at the blanket on top of us. “It was nice to snuggle with somebody as I slept.” I averted my eyes and my face knowing I was red as a tomato because Joshua was being so damn cute.

So much Joshua and Skyler fluff!! Haha. OMG Seventeen’s Love & Letter has been released! I am so happy for them and I love the new album. I hope with Pretty U we can maybe win number one! Next chapter I want to make it all about Skyler and The8 since he is my second bias after Joshua. Don’t worry there is no love interest between the two but they’ll spend the day together! Thank you! Till next time~~

ALSK20