Returning back to Los Angeles I managed to keep in touch with everyone in Korea as frequently as possible.. There were always messages being sent back and forth with updates. I did get to see them briefly when they came to LA to film for their new mini album. Don’t Wanna Cry and the AL1 album was a fun time because they extended their stay a few days so they could spend time with me.

I was busy working at the mall, getting a job at a boba cafe. I don’t know if that was a great idea because after they’d hired me word got out that the ex-member of Seventeen was now a barista. Every day I’d get a handful of customers who were either Carats or just fans of kpop. They thought it was interesting that I used to be a kpop star and wanted to hear stories. I had nothing to lose so I told them anything that wouldn’t cross the line with anyone in Seventeen. 

The cafe didn’t seem to mind, they were getting more business than ever before. In no time I was promoted to assistant manager. My paperwork had been processed and I was able to go back to school in the fall. It was going to be weird going back to university but I was determined to get my degree. 

Over the summer of 2017 it was announced Seventeen would be one of the artists going to KCON in LA. Of course that meant I was going to the convention to see them. We were even going to meet up and spend more time together. They’d managed to get me a backstage pass because other groups I’d became friends with were also going to be there. I looked forward to see Astro, Got7, and NCT again. 

“You’re so lucky Skyler,” my co-worker said to me. “You get to go backstage KCON where I only get to go to the convention and concert. Perks of being close with Seventeen.” 

“I’m excited,” I said as added up the money in the register. “I haven’t seen them in a few months. The last time I saw them was when they came to shoot for AL1.” 

“Would you ever get back with Joshua?” she asked looking at me as she wiped off the tables. “You still like him don’t you?” 

“Of course I do,” I answered without a second thought. Even though we were broken up we talked quite a bit. But because of him I’d never been able to look at anyone else romantically. There were plenty of people in LA who were attractive but my mind would always go back to Joshua. “But getting back with him? I don’t know if that’ll ever happen.” 

Since the dating scandal had passed, the fans for the most part had forgotten about me. The Korean fans were excepting Joshua back into the group, and there were no more hate comments about me. The international fans still supported me, my following on Instagram had sky rocketed since I’d started using my account again. Even my comments were flooded with Korean fans who still liked me despite everything. 

“You never know,” she said. “See you tomorrow boss.” 

When the start of KCON came I got a message from the guys in our group chat telling me to get to the venue earlier than what I had planned. They wouldn’t tell me more than that, just telling me to hurry. Making my way through the LA traffic I found a spot to park near the Staples Center. 

I flashed my pass to the security and made my way to their dressing room. As soon as I entered their large room, I was grabbed into a big group hug. 

“What is the news?” I asked as soon as everyone let go of me. As usual Joshua stood next to me, his hand finding mine. Even if we weren’t together I wasn’t going to stop holding his hand. “Making me wake up two hours earlier than I planned.” 

“Super special news,” Seungcheol said with a big smile on his face. Everyone in the room looked excited even managers who’d been with me during my time in the group. “Joshua you tell him.” 

“Hurry hurry!” Seungkwan yelled, jumping up and down. “Come on!” 

“Okay!” Joshua laughed. “Well, the KCON staff agreed, and so did everyone at Pledis. We’re planning to perform Boom Boom today and Adore U. And we can’t do it as thirteen. Join us?” 

“What?” I asked looking at him with wide eyes. They wanted me to perform with them on stage? “Are you serious?” 

“Completely,” Joshua said, giving me a nod. “They thought it would be fun for you to come back for this performance since this is your hometown. As long as you’re down for it that is.”

I couldn’t believe my ears at this news. I’d never thought that I’d get a chance to stand on stage with them again. But even Pledis back in Korea had agreed it was okay for me to be with them for this one event? It was almost like a dream. 

“Of course I’d join you guys,” I said with a smile. “But I haven’t did any sort of professional performance like that in months. I’ll probably .” 

“That’s why you’re here early,” Jihoon said rolling his eyes but smiling none the less. “Time to practice with us hyung. Our sound check is about to start.” 

Everything was a blur as a microphone was given to me. After we all stretched on the stage we got into the Adore U formation. They would be performing Adore U first then Boom Boom. Standing back on stage with them, my mind immediately locked into focus. 

I hadn’t danced either song in months but it was muscle memory now. I kept up with their movements, my body remembering the hours of practice and stage performances I’d done with them for these songs. The sound check went a lot smoother than I thought. 

Occasionally on Instagram I’d post short singing covers of various songs so my vocals were always ready. It felt so good to be singing and dancing with them even for just today. The energy in the arena was electric. 

When our sound check was over we were given the rest of the day to relax. Of course I wanted to walk around the convention, this was going to be my first time going to one of these things. I thought it was awesome that kpop was able to have a whole convention for it out in the United States, and that so many people came to this event. 

While some of the members went to go get some rest before the show, Joshua decided to accompany me around the convention. We said goodbye to everyone else, before leaving the dressing room, taking a moment to stand in the hall to talk a bit. 

“How have you been?” Joshua asked as he leaned against the wall. “Still working at that boba shop?” 

“I’m assistant manager now,” I answered looking at him. Joshua had always told me that he used Seventeen’s Instagram account to stalk my photos. He caught up with my life updates that way when we were too busy to message. 

“Awesome,” Joshua said with a smile. “I missed you Skyler.” 

“I missed you too,” I replied. He opened his arms, looking inviting. Immediately I closed the space between us, hugging him tightly. The two of us stood there in each others embrace. Joshua still smelled like that sweet scent from back in Korea. His arms around me still felt amazing, making me feel secure. 

We stood in the hallway continuing to hug each other for a few minutes. We didn’t need to say anything, just holding each other was enough. Seeing him in person only made me realize how much I missed him. I always missed him, but when I got to see him in person it made me realize that even more. 

Eventually we let go of each other, making our way out of the backstage area of the stadium to go to the convention. Already there were people flooding the area to checked out the stalls and see what panels would be taking place for the day. 

“This is so cool,” I said looking around at everything set up. It was a kpop fans dream come to life. We joined the masses of crowds accompanied by the security guard that was assigned to be with us. Joshua was still very much a celebrity and didn’t have the freedom to be walking around freely like I could. 

The first place we went to was getting in line for kimbap at one of the food areas. Since the security guard was next to us that attracted attention from everyone. When they found out it was Joshua from Seventeen that formed a crowd around us. Luckily we were still able to get our food and eat while talking to the people around us. 

“I’m excited to see you in concert tonight,” one girl said. 

“You’re still friends with Skyler?” another one asked shooting a curious glance over at me. 

“Of course,” Joshua answered. “All of us are still friends with Skyler. We talk on a weekly basis.” 

“Awesome,” a boy said looking at me with wide eyes. “I still wished you were in the group Skyler. Your interactions with everyone on variety shows, especially Joshua were so fun to watch.” 

“Honestly,” another girl agreed. “It’s surprising how it took everyone so long to figure out you two were dating all that time. I knew from the way you looked at each other and held each other that there was something going on. And I was supporting it all the way.” 

“Thank you,” I said with a small laugh. “You have sharp eyes.” 

We took our food over to an area where tables were set up. Sitting down with the security guard off to the side, we ate our food. I couldn’t help but steal glances at Joshua, taking in everything. His hair was dyed a brown color, bangs swept to the side. He still looked beautiful, and made my heart swell. 

Joshua and I spent the rest of the afternoon attending various panels, seeing some kpop Youtubers have a discussion. We even got asked a few questions ourselves in an impromptu Q&A at the end. The convention was very fun, and something I would want to go back to again. 

Once night time hit, we were backstage in the dressing room, getting dressed and our hair and makeup done. It felt a little weird to be sitting in a chair while a stylist noona fixed my hair and put makeup on my face. The thrill of getting to perform again was making butterflies soar in my stomach. 

When it was our turn to start performing, we waited for our cue before we started the first few notes of Adore U immediately getting huge cheers from the packed audience. My mind went into focus with the rest of the group and we were performing like a well oiled machine. We were in our element, moving as one unit. 

From Adore U to Boom Boom the performances were solid, and the thrill of the bright lights and loud music put a huge smile on my face. I’d forgotten how fun it was to be on stage for thousands of people. At the end of the two performances the group took a chance to talk a little bit before I’d be heading to my seat in the crowd. 

“Thank you guys,” Seungcheol said. “And thank you for welcoming back our friend and brother Skyler!” At the announcement of my name the audience went into an uproar of screaming. I bowed my head with a bright smile. 

“Thank you for welcoming back for this special performance,” I said once the microphone was handed over to me. “It was a lot of fun to be back on stage with everyone.” 

The members gathered around me and gave me another bone crushing hug before I was running off the stage to watch the rest of their performance. Backstage I got to meet some of my kpop friends, running into Got7 who were backstage. We talked for a little bit before I was changing out of my stage clothes and wiping the makeup off my face. 

“You were great up there,” Moonbin said, snagging my arm as I left the dressing room. “I’m glad I got to see you performing with them again.” 

“Thanks Bin,” I answered. He pulled me into a hug, as we shared a smile together. “I’m excited to see you perform as well.” 

“Thanks Sky,” Moonbin said. “I hope one day you could be back on stage, it might not have been your dream but you really do belong on the stage.” 

We talked for a little bit more before I found myself near the front to watch the rest of the performances. It was a magical night and had my mind yearning for the stage again. 

Thank you for reading!!