As soon as we got back to the dorm after the press conference one of the managers pulled me aside. He told me that Pledis bought a plane ticket to LA for me and I’d be leaving in two days. That was supposed to be enough time to pack and say goodbye to everyone. Tomorrow they’d be dropping off my ticket.

With a heavy heart I went back up to our dorm, taking my shoes off immediately faced with everyone but Joshua in the living room. It was clear they wanted to talk so I just sighed and sat next to Jeonghan on the floor. I looked around the room hoping it had been a trick on my eyes and Joshua was here but he wasn’t no matter how many times I scanned the room.

“When is your flight back to LA?” Seungcheol asked finally breaking the thick uncomfortable silence that had fallen upon us. “Jeez Skyler you could’ve at least told us what you were planning. We were all blindsided at the conference.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly looking down at my socks. Jeonghan wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I rested my head on him. I was exhausted from my emotions and wanted nothing more than to take a long nap.

“Did you think this was the only way to make things right?” Minghao asked looking over at me. Everyone wore the same expressions on their faces, showing their sadness at everything that had happened today.

“It was the quickest way,” I answered. “If I had told you guys I know you would’ve convinced me to stay. Stick it out and continuing being in Seventeen. There was no guarantee that if I stayed in the group things would go back to normal. I don’t want to be the reason why all your hard work falls down the drain. I’m leaving in two days.”

“Two days?” Mingyu exclaimed widening his eyes. “That’s so quick!”

“I have to,” I sighed running a hand through my styled hair, I made a quick movement to mess it all up so it matched the whirlwind inside of me. “That was part of my deal with the CEO. When I announced my departure they were going to pay for my ticket home.”

Everyone fell silent as sadness hung over our heads. Two days was a short amount of time to say goodbye to them and Korea. I had never expected to come to think of this place as home. Before coming in 2015 I’d just identified as Korean American and home was always Los Angeles. But living here for over a year I’d grown to call this place home because I had expanded my family here.

“Well that’s two days to have fun and make the most out of it,” Seungcheol said clapping his hands together. “I hate being sad and I want to create more memories with Skyler in these two days before it’s time to say goodbye.”

“Me too!” Chan yelled pumping his fist in the air. “Let’s not waste these two days and do as much as we can!”

“But you should talk to Joshua hyung,” Mingyu said motioning down the hall where are rooms were. “You don’t want to say goodbye to him like this.”

“I’ll try,” I sighed as I got up off the ground. Everyone gave me encouraging pats as we all hugged each other. Group hug done I walked down the hall to my bedroom, opening the door. I found Joshua sitting on the bed looking out of the window. “Joshua.”

“All this time,” Joshua said continuing to face the window. “When this scandal was happening we said we would get through this together.”

“I know but please,” I said trying to explain everything. I sat down on the bed reaching my hand out to touch him. As soon as my hand was on his arm he shoved it off turning around to face me. I’d never seen Joshua angry and right now he looked more than angry, mixed with hurt.

“No Skyler!” Joshua yelled. “You tried to solve this all by yourself without thinking about what I really wanted! I wanted to be with you! I love you! And I thought you loved me too!”

“Joshua I do love you!” I exclaimed. “I’ve never not loved you. You mean the most to me!” Joshua shook his head standing up as he paced back in forth in front of the bed. I put my head in my hands letting out a loud sigh.

“Then why didn’t you tell me what you had planned?” Joshua asked standing in front of me. “If you loved me like you said you wouldn’t have gone behind my back trying to save my career while simultaneously leaving the group and ending our relationship!”

“So what?” I asked. I didn’t want to get angry at him but I was losing my mind and Joshua yelling at me wasn’t helping anything. “So you really expect me to believe you’d have been okay with fans hating you because you aren’t gay but they think you are? And what the hell was that saying you weren’t gay?”

“I’m not gay!” Joshua yelled throwing his hands in the air. “Just because I dated you and had with you doesn’t make me gay! You’re the only guy I’ve had romantic feelings for! And you hurt me with throwing me off today! And don’t curse at me Skyler!”

“Fine!” I yelled standing up off of the bed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was going to do! I’m sorry for looking out for your stupid singing career! I’m sorry I ruined our relationship!”

“ you,” Joshua hissed pushing me away from him. “At this point you’re already gone! you!”

“ you too then!” I yelled pushing him back.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Jeonghan yelled slamming the door open. Everyone had crowded around near our door, no doubt alarmed from all the yelling. “Stop it!” Wonwoo grabbed me pulling him behind me as Seungcheol held Joshua’s arm, keeping the two of us apart.

I looked at everyone around us seeing their scared looks mixed with a few of them looking sad. I didn’t want to fight with Joshua because I always said things I regretted when arguing with anyone. Once I got angry it was hard to stop saying hurtful things.

I pushed past Wonwoo making my way out of my bedroom, past all the members. Arguing with Joshua put me in a hurt mood, making my heartache with regret. I put on my shoes wanting to just run away. Everything felt like it was falling apart and I wanted to hide from all of the problems I had created.

“Skyler,” Seungcheol said placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look ar him as he sat down next to me. “I’m not leaving you alone. Joshua has Jeonghan and everyone else to calm him down. I’ll stay with you whether you want me to or not.” I just shrugged my shoulders as he began putting on his shoes as well.

Once the two of us had our shoes on we left the dorm unnoticed by everyone else. I put on a hat and facemask so people wouldn’t recognize me easily. Seungcheol did the same as we began walking down the street going nowhere in particular.

I turned around seeing the building to our dorm becoming more and more faint the farther down the street we went. Eventually we stopped inside of a small café off the main street, ordering two coffees before sitting down in a heavily pillowed table in the corner. Being blocked from sight by most of the customers in the café we slipped off our facemasks, feeling safe enough to not be recognized.

“You can’t leave us, leave Korea without trying to make things better with Joshua,” Seungcheol said after a long sip of coffee and silence. “I’ve never heard him get so angry before. He’s really hurt Skyler, we all are.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” I answered leaning back in my seat letting out a loud sigh. “You heard how angry he was. I’ll just make it worse trying to talk to him.”

“Give him a little more time,” Seungcheol answered. “Right now it’s still fresh on his mind. I’m sure Jeonghan is doing his best back home to calm him down. Try again later tonight.”

I closed my eyes shaking my head. Everything seemed like a mess right now. The one person I loved the most seemed to hate my guts. No matter what I said right now I didn’t think it would make much of a difference to Joshua.

“What are you going to do now?” Seungcheol asked. “When you get back to LA.”

“It’ll be too late to join this spring semester,” I replied thinking how classes had already been selected and winter break was finishing up soon. “I’ll just have to wait until the fall semester starts to continue on at UCLA. Probably get a job so I won’t be stuck at home all day.”

“Do your parents know you’re coming back home?”

“Yeah I texted them a few days ago. They’ll be waiting to pick me up at the airport when I land back in LA.”

My parents probably had a thousand questions to ask me but when I’d messaged them the news I just told them I would explain everything later. I didn’t think they’d have seen anything about the scandal I’d created in Korea. It wasn’t big enough news for them to be alerted about it.

“I’m sorry it all turned out like this,” Seungcheol said resting his head on his hands. “That the media found out about everything and now you’re leaving us, just as we’re starting to get more famous.”

“It’ll be fine,” I said giving him a light smile. Being the leader of such a big group couldn’t be easy for Seungcheol. He was the same age as me yet he had so much responsibility to make sure everyone in the group was looked after. I would’ve cracked under all that pressure, trying to be the example for everyone else in Seventeen. “They’ve got a good leader to watch after them.”

“I do my best,” Seungcheol laughed lightly. “I just wish I could’ve fought harder for you or did something so the outcome wouldn’t be this.”

“Me leaving is for the best,” I answered. “With me gone, the fans will hopefully forgive the group and continue to support Seventeen, probably stronger than before.”

“It won’t be the same without you,” he replied, downing the rest of his coffee. “You evened us out. Without you we’re back to being odd.”

“You were always odd even with me.”

When we returned back to the dorm it was nearing dinnertime and everyone was gathered in the living room waiting for the chicken they’d decided to order. To my relief Joshua was out there with everyone, whether by choice or force. Seungcheol and I joined sitting down on the floor. Everyone was mostly focused on a movie that was playing on the TV, with some soft chatter filling the room.

Jeonghan nudged Joshua giving him a stern look. Joshua just sighed as he stood up from his seat on the couch. Everyone for a second turned their attention to him as he made his way over to me. I could only stare up at him as he extended his hand to me. Taking his hand he helped me up off the floor, leading me out of the dorm and up to the rooftop where we would have complete privacy to talk.

Once on the rooftop he let go of my hand, sitting down against the railing dangling his legs off the side of the building. I did the same giving some space between the two of us, unsure of what to do. The air around us felt so stiff and all I could do was wait for Joshua to say something; make the first move.

“You’re an idiot,” Joshua finally said causing me to flinch a little. “Thinking that I’d be happy with you leaving me here while you go back to LA. I get it now that you’re just trying to make it so I can continue singing but ever since I realized I loved you, you’ve been my main reason. Singing and performing with you is what makes me the happiest, being next to you.

“Not just being a singer and a member of Seventeen. Being a member of Seventeen knowing I can share all these amazing moments with the person I love the most. And now when you return to LA there will be no more shared moments between us. That’s what hurts me the most. When we make new music you won’t be there to learn it with me and stand next to me on stage.

“I’d rather leave with you instead of being here by myself. But I know you wouldn’t like that so I’m going to stay and continue performing for the two of us. And I guess we really are broken up but I’m not going to stop loving you Skyler. Ever.”

I closed my eyes, once I felt a few tears slip down my face. A gentle touch wiped away the tears before my head was turned lightly and soft lips met mine. Immediately craving the sweet taste of Joshua’s lips I kissed him back wrapping my arms tightly around him.

“Dammit,” Joshua laughed against my lips. “You’re a real pain in the but I love you Skyler.” He smiled at me his eyes curving into perfect crescents making my heart tingle with happiness. It almost made me forget that in two days this would all be gone, almost.

“I love you too Joshua,” I answered back. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders loosely as our lips found each other again. I closed my eyes, tilting my head to the side feeling his lips part slightly. Kissing him was definitely one of the things I would miss the most when I left for LA. Everything related to Joshua I would miss dearly. It was crazy how much he affected my whole being.

We lost track of time up on the rooftop, the sky blossoming with stars. Joshua sat up, buttoning his shirt back up as I fixed my hair. I leaned over once more attaching my lips to his neck, kissing all over his sweet skin causing all sorts of groans to escape his mouth. I felt his hand trailing back down my stomach as I on a part of his neck, no doubt it would leave a nice mark. For now he was still mine.

“Mm Skyler,” Joshua sighed as his hand found itself back inside of my pants. “.”

“I love it when you curse like this,” I said in a husky voice. When he wasn’t cursing at me but like this it so much. To think that the good Christian boy had such a dirty mouth gave me such satisfaction. Because it was my mouth, my hands, myself that could make him into a swearing mess of putty.

“Don’t stop Sky,” Joshua moaned as his hand continued to feel around inside my pants. “.” I smiled as I ran my tongue across his chest, getting lost again in Joshua’s sweet scent.

“If you two don’t stop screwing each other there will be no food left!” Jeonghan yelled popping his head out from behind the door. He had a big smirk on his face as he eyed the two us no doubt knowing what we had been up to.

Joshua gasped as I removed my mouth from his skin. I laughed as his hand shot out of my pants buttoning his shirt back up again. Jeonghan only shook his head disappearing to head back down. Finally we got all our clothes back on properly heading back to the dorm.

“So I take it you talked?” Minghao asked as we sat down in the living room. Joshua immediately had a seat on my lap and my arms wrapped tightly around him.

“They did a little more than talked up there,” Jeonghan said letting out a loud laugh. Joshua let out a small sigh as he covered his eyes with his hands. “Sure you want your hand on your eye after where it’s been?”

“Did something happen up there?” Vernon asked looking a little lost.

“Oh I can see a lot happened,” Wonwoo said laughing as well. “Joshua hyung you’re shirt is buttoned incorrectly.” Joshua let out a squeak as he quickly fixed his shirt.

“I still don’t get it,” Vernon said looking at the two of us. “You didn’t talk?”

“Let’s just say,” I began slowly. “We talked and then let our actions speak a little more for the both of us.

_________________________

So the countdown now begins until Skyler has to leave for LA... 

Thanks! 

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