Who am I? Where am I? Why am I? What am I?

The chime of the elevator brought Yongsun back to Earth. She was shaking, fingers trembling as she stepped inside of the metal box to go down to the place where she knew Moonbyul was waiting for her.

This is the end. She thought, staring blankly at the tile floor. I didn't think it would come so soon but this is truly the end of my days.

There was no way that she would be able to get out of this situation without having to reveal how she felt about Moonbyul. How in the world was she to explain all of her actions without telling Moonbyul that is was because she was jealous, frustrated, embarrassed and most of all, ashamed of her feelings for the other. Yongsun was so terribly disappointed in herself. There was no coming back from this.

Her relationship, her tight bond with her cousin and her friendship with Moonbyul was ending after this talk, and Yongsun was most definitely mentally underprepared for it. 

As the elevator struck P2, she held her breath and watched the elevator doors slide open. She stepped out and saw Moonbyul sitting inside of her sporty, black hatchback - a car that suited her mysterious aura. She was texting on her phone; Yongsun immediately thought it was Wheein that she was talking to.

She had memorized Moonbyul's parking space without even realizing it herself, remembering all the times that she had walked towards the elevator from her own spot and getitng excited at the fact that the other was already at the office. 

As if on cue Moonbyul looked up from her phone and rolled down her to call out to her. Walking up to Moonbyul's car was nerve-wracking by itself, but being in a space that was so silent and any spoken word echoed throughout the entire garage made Moonbyul's single-word greeting send shivers down Yongsun's spine. "Hey." 

Of course, Yongsun stuttered. "H- hi," She said with an awkward close-lipped smile, gently waving to her as she walked up to the car. "Sorry I took so long." 

"No worries. Get in, I'll drive." Moonbyul tilted her head towards the passenger's seat and patted the leather. 

No way was Yongsun putting herself in a position where the space was so limited with the other. That would be the ultimate recipe for disaster. "Um... I'm okay, I don't want to leave my car here. I can meet you there." 

But, as always, Moonbyul had a way with words to manipulate the situation in her favor. "Nah, save the planet and keep your gas in the car. You won't get ticketed anyways." She clicked her tongue as she pressed the button to unlock the doors, leaving Yongsun with no choice but to follow. 

"Okay..." She mumbled and walked around the front, begrudgingly getting into the passenger's seat. It was her first time inside Moonbyul's car and she was surprised by how luxurious the interior of the car was, especially considering how long Moonbyul had been back in Korea for. All-black leather, a long, wide-screen placed in the middle of the dashboard, soft touch materials surrounding the entire front. The controls for the screen were placed neatly in the center of the car and several fancy buttons ringed around it. She tried to keep her expressions neutral, whether it was about her shock for the car or her sadness about being inside of it. 

Moonbyul stared at her as she got in, letting out a soft huff. "Don't gotta be so disappointed about being in my car for the ride." She said in a low voice as she turned the engine on, getting comfortable in her seat. 

Yongsun's eyes went wide at her comment and rose up in her seat, unconsciously putting her hand on the armrest where Moonbyul's arm laid, bursting out saying, "I'm not disappointed! Oh-" Moonbyul was looking at her with wide eyes. She covered after realizing how loud she got and quickly sinked back into her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Her cheeks went a light shade of pink. "...sorry. I'm not. I swear." Why did I do that? This is so awkward.

After a brief moment Moonbyul laughed out loud, breaking the tension between them. "Goodness. I didn't think I was going to see that Yongsun again," She said with a giggle, shifting into the first gear to pull out of the space. She looked back at Yongsun with that annoyingly charming smile that Yongsun hated to love. "I'm only teasing you."

The brunette huffed under her breath and bit her lip, desperately wanting the music from the speakers to become louder. "Shut up." 

"Nope." 

Yongsun furrowed her brows and looked at the center console, trying to figure out how to control the damn radio with all the complicated buttons around it. "How do you use your radio?" 

"Figure it out yourself." said Moonbyul with a stuck out tongue, her eyes and hands focused on controlling the car. Yongsun glared at her for a second before turning her attention back to the controls, her eyes zooming in on the large dial in the middle. She carefully turned in to the right, hoping that would do something for the radio. Luckily, that worked. "Good for you. You used your brain!" 

Yongsun rolled her eyes and turned up the music more, hitting Moonbyul on the shoulder afterwards out of habit. Her breath hitched after realizing what she did, quickly settling back into her seat. "S- shut up." 

Moonbyul laughed again, as if she hadn't even notice Yongsun initiating so much contact between them. In reality, her mind was still on the fact that Yongsun had earlier grabbed her arm. "Are those the only two words that you know? 'Shut' and 'up'?"

The fact that Moonbyul knew how to get under the other's skin so easily made Yongsun squirm. This whole period was supposed to be Yongsun putting her feelings for the blonde away and storing them in an internal safe where no one would ever know about them - how the hell was she to achieve that when Moonbyul wouldn't stop being... Moonbyul? "No! Be quiet," She noticed Moonbyul's glance at her as she had chosen just another way to say 'shut up'. "I didn't get into this car to get attacked. I thought we were just going to get bubble tea."

Deep down she knew that this wasn't just about bubble tea. But she wasn't going to be the first to bring up the real topic for conversation. 

"Well, maybe I didn't want it to be just about bubble tea." Moonbyul stuck her tongue out at her again, already shifting into the fourth gear, causing the car to shake and speed up intensely. Yongsun couldn't help but watch the other drive and actually be impressed by the skill. She only knew how to drive a measly automatic. She wondered if Moonbyul would ever teach her how to drive a manual, but then again, would they be friends still by the end of the night? 

"...shut up." Yongsun muttered again, biting her lip once more. 

***

It felt like an eternity had passed before they reached the bubble tea shop, a place that Yongsun never really frequented. The last time she had bought bubble tea was with Minhyuk the year before, remembering only the moment that Minhyuk had accidentally swallowed two pearls and choked terribly. It hurt to remember him at that moment.

After Moonbyul parked the car, they got out of the tight space and patted themselves down. Yongsun took in a quiet, deep breath before looking up to see Moonbyul's face across from her. Although the car ride felt long, it had definitely loosened the brunette up to the other. Yongsun smiled slightly and began to walk towards the shop, saying, "Let's go." 

They entered one after the other, their eyes looking up at the overwhelming menu of tons of flavours. "Jesus. I don't remember there being so much choice on these menus." Moonbyul widened her eyes at the strange flavours and offerings, her brows then furrowing. "Like... a bubble tea hotpot? What the hell is that..." 

Yongsun giggled. "Youngins these days. Why can't they just stick to the regular flavours and keep it at that?" 

Moonbyul scoffed and shrugged. "Gotta keep business boomin', ya know?" She said with a smirk, taking a step towards the cashier. "Hi there, I'd like a mango smoothie with pearls," She looked over at Yongsun and cocked her brows upwards, gesturing for her to order. Yongsun shook her head. She didn't want the blonde to pay for her - this situation was already weird, she didn't want the other to be paying for her things now.

Moonbyul's brows furrowed and reached out to grab Yongsun by the sleeve, pulling her gently to her side, mumbling, "Order or you don't have a ride home." 

Yongsun, flustered by the sudden move, couldn't help but stutter. "Y- you..." She scrunched her nose and nudged Moonbyul's hand off of her sleeve, reluctantly ordering also. "I- I'll get a strawberry smoothie, no toppings." Her voice was quiet, but her words echoed in her ears. She was feeling very hot all of a sudden, being so close to Moonbyul. Why is this girl so goddamn smooth? Yongsun thought, side-eyeing the other as she watched Moonbyul tap her card on the machine.

This was not the way she was expecting this night to go at all and Yongsun couldn't even tell if she liked it or not. 

"Your drinks will be ready in a few. Please take a seat." The cashier said with a smile as she handed Moonbyul an alarm for their food. 

The two took a seat at a table in the corner of the shop, away from the other groups who were having a nice night in the bubble tea shop. Yongsun observed each table with a longing gaze, thinking about how nice it would be to be them and not have issues like having feelings for another person even though they're engaged. She rested her chin in the centre of her palm as she stared, lips pouting out slightly.

"That really is a huge rock." Said Moonbyul.

Yongsun snapped out of her trance and looked at her. "What is?"

Moonbyul cocked her brows upwards and pointed to the engagement ring on Yongsun's finger. "Your ring. It's super nice." 

Yongsun removed her hand from underneath her chin and stretched out her fingers, looking at the ring with a gentle smile. "Yeah.... yeah, it is a nice ring." Flashes of Minhyuk went through her mind, reminding her who really mattered. Who made her happy all these years, and not just in a couple of weeks. The feelings that she felt for Moonbyul weren't love; it was less than that. Looking back at her ring made her realize this.

"And um... I have something to confess to you." Yongsun said in a low voice, instantly becoming dry. She felt her left leg beginning to shake with anxiety because she knew what was going to happen next was going to cause a lot of drama.

Moonbyul straightened herself in her seat and looked at Yongsun attentively. "What is it?"

"I..." Yongsun breathed in deeply. "...I had a crush on you. After we first met, I... I think I had feelings for you." 

Suddenly, the air felt cold. Time stopped. 

Yongsun observed Moonbyul's stunned, wide-eyed expression. It was confusing. Was she shocked? Hurt? Angry? All the above? And more? It was hard to tell and the fact that a minute had passed and nothing had been said yet was quite scary. "M- Moonbyul, I'm s-sorry-"

The alarm then began to vibrate violently against the table, in which Moonbyul scrambled to her feet to go and pick up the drinks. "I- I'll be right b-back," She said in a hurry as she walked away. There was definitely uneasiness to her stride as she went up to the counter and it looked as if her hands were shaking as she brought back the drinks. "I, um.... I don't think we should talk about this inside here. Let's go outside." Moonbyul mumbled to Yongsun, sticking her free hand into her jacket pocket and held her drink tightly in the other. 

The brunette nodded, biting down on her lip, getting up with her drink to go outside. This was super awkward and Yongsun didn't know whether or not to regret what she had just said. 

Once they had moved outside and sat at an empty patio table, Moonbyul let out a deep sigh and hung her head. "I don't.... know what to do with that information."

Yongsun held her face in both of her hands this time, covering her eyes in embarrassment. She felt so terrible for putting this on the younger girl. "I am so sorry. But I had to tell you this... it was going to be too weird if I kept it in and I couldn't keep lying to you. To everyone." Moonbyul looked up to her eyes, her gaze catching Yongsun's. "...it wasn't serious. I know it was because I've been having jitters about this upcoming wedding. I don't want you to take it seriously." 

Moonbyul sighed once more and ran her fingers through her hair, her toes tapping nervously against the concrete. "I mean... I guess..." She bit her lip. "We're not telling those two about this." She said with an intense furrow of her brow.

"No ing way. It'll be over my dead body before those two know about this." agreed Yongsun and a quick nod of her head. "...I'm really sorry." 

Moonbyul nodded. "I don't need to know the details... but thank you for telling me."

"No problem."

"Let's go home."

***

Moonbyul had dropped off Yongsun at her place, one of the most awkward car rides that she had ever had. The talk with Yongsun had shaken her. It made her realize why all those things had happened; the anger, the jealousy, the tension between them. 

She was glad that they could move on from that. All of the weird avoidance, strange talks, not being friends... it had ended that night.

She could go home to Wheein without Yongsun in her mind. Be happy with Wheein. Cook for Wheein. Cuddle Wheein. Kiss Wheein.

So why did it hurt so bad when Yongsun had said that her feelings for her weren't real?

And why couldn't Moonbyul get her mind off of Yongsun as she drove home?

Wheein had her heart.

Right?

--

ah ha haaaaaaaaaaa

hey guise 

hope u are all doing well :)

the plot thickens