“Imo, one more here please.” I raise my shot glass to the clerk lady.

‘It’s been a while, AeRi-ya. How are you?’ seriously?! After his departure six years ago, ‘how are you’ is what came to his mind? Let me tell you how I am. I’m not well. I drink here every night to hold on for another day. I live my day like a zombie trying to set a goal—a reachable goal—for myself just to get rid the thought of killing myself. I live in fear, agony, self-hatred and regrets. How am i? How dare he ask that to me? Don’t even get me started on how great he looked today, if I didn’t restrain myself earlier I believe I would have jump at him and pour in everything I have endured passionately. He’s a father now. How could I didn’t see that coming? The kid’s name is Cho EunJung after all and to be honest he resembles him a lot. How did I not see that?!

I gulp another soju, holding on for my tears somehow. I could break down right this moment but the place’s a bit crowded and I don’t want to look like a desperate idiot that cry in a snack stall alone.

“Aggashi, you have enough soju for 4 men already.” The clerk lady warns me while delivering another bottle for me.

“Ne, Imo, I have a hard day today.” I grin—well, at least that what I think—at her and open the new bottle.

I kept on drinking through the night and when I decided I had enough, I paid her then go home. Going home without feeling drunk is already hard for me. Seoul known to have contoured land an