The snow has been falling since last night, I know this is the kind of weekend where people my age will just prefer to be at home. Honestly my mind had been wandering since yesterday meeting with AeRi. how cold she became, she even called my Mr. Cho. For god’s sake, we’ve known each other for a long time, been married for five years and all I could say when I met her was ‘how are you?’

Yesterday after work I decided to drive myself and sent my driver home earlier. I’m the kind of people that find peace while driving around. As I drove by, my subconscious mind led me to my son’s school. It was after dusk and I saw some people are still getting out of the building, I was sure they were teachers that just finished grading the students work.

I remember my meeting with AeRi. How fragile she looked, how cynical she was to me, how cold her expression when she saw me, how she tried to avoid eye contact the whole time, how much I want to hold her and tell her the truth, yet I know the real truth will only hurt her further than what damage I already done to her. I sincerely wish she has a better life, a happier life without me in it, the life she really deserves.   

I was just about to leave when I saw a profile that I’m very familiar with—AeRi. She was walking alone while staring at her feet, her habit when she’s puzzled. Automatically I wanted to get out of the car and take her home comfortably with my car, but I hesitated to the idea, knowing it only will cause problem later on. So I followed her slowly with my car, like a spy following his target.

She stopped by a small stall and order up.

Hours went by and I saw how she ordered more and more alcohol. I know she has high tolerant with alcohol but what she had was way out of her limit. She was the last costumer to go, she paid up the clerk lady and walked again. She barely walked, she just dragged her feet one by one to get her to the nearest bus station.

Few minutes later a blue bus came and she signaled the driver. She got in. It’s amazing how she still managed to get herself together in that level of drunkenness. I decided to follow the bus, just a precaution if AeRi got lost or passed out.

As much as I know that she’s no longer my concern, no longer my responsibility, I still want to be around her as much as possible. Never had I gone through a day without thinking about her and how she’s doing. It’s true that I re-married. I have a wife that lo