May be I'm just one of the part from unfortune guy whose attact by this disease. But knowing them, make me feel blessed. I'm even more lucky than every child here. They must has a lot of dream to achieve. God even gave me a lot. How can I want more? Many children in here has been tried so hard regardless how hurt it feel. Even some of them must leave this world because of God loves them more. To be Idol maybe was not my dream at first. But now I feel so blessed. To be a part of infinite. To have the members achieving our dreams together. Maybe I'm gready because I still want more. I wish I had lot of time to with you guys. Making a lot of good memories. That's why I'll try to fight this illness. Because that's my first decision. I want to be healthy again. But Am I to gready if I want to be healthy idol? Because my doctor told me I must choose one of them. It's imposible to have  a sickness idol right? Everyone know that the treathment was hard. Yes I've tried it once. That day was awful. The pain was worst. The doctor told me that I was strong because I'm still concious. What? To be honest I felt like a mess. The pale face was is that I hate the most. The fans must hate that gloomy woohyun looked. That was awful. The nausea feeling is worst too. I love eating but that time I felt that was I hate the most. It's like I'm the one who has that bulimic syndrome. Everything that comes to my stomach must be out imediately. I kept vomiting a lot. Another awful session is when I had to buy the best cosmetic products. The strong one for the hair loss treatment. And the best moishturizer for a dry skin. That still had another. The fatigue feeling. Because the day I went to my apartement after doing that threatment was the day when my manager found my secret. For the first time he knew that I was really really sick. The worst thing that my CEO knew that to. What a day! For the first time I feel so scared. So scared that I must give up my dream. Leaving my members. My infinite family leaving my fans my girlfriens, inspirits. What'll I talk to my family? For leaving infinite? How can I leave my dream so easily. No.. never. This just a stupid sickness. I'll survive. At least I had try. So this is my decision.. I'll stay as infinite even There's one day that I'll ended dying but at least I have tried to complete my bucket list so I'll leave this world with no regret. To be known as a bright, greasy Nam Woohyun. And the name in my tomb of course will be Nam Woohyun infinite . Can I?

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This part is actually inpired by namu's bucketlist in his vlive last time. I don't know why but it just so sad even if he said cheerfully. 

Talk abot that show I checked it a view days a go. But I found it was deleted. I miss him. I miss infinite. I hope that they are really gonna comeback in may. Waiting for namu's clam party to. The teaser was seducing me a lot. 

Actually I still don't know what will happen with this story. I just wan't to share it wtv in my mind.

Btw, I made this chapter around in midnight. Sorry for many grammars error. Since I'm not a native, so just bare it! I hope you still understand and enjoy wih my story. Thank you..

See you in next chapter!