> yoonmin, angst, 3790 words, /tw illness.

>> Person B has a blooming garden that they tend to every day. Person A always complains, but is endeared at the same time by the multitude of flowers growing around their house. After Person B dies, Person A tries to tend to the flowers themselves, but ultimately fails and watches as their beloved’s garden withers.

p.s I just wanna clarify that I’m no science student nor am I experienced in biology, so I’m not going to list any illnesses because I don’t want to seem ignorant, and though I have the power of google I don’t want to really search for a specific illness.

“Why are you up so early?” A husky voice was heard behind Jimin as he poured the water over the beautiful blooming flowers, making him flinch slightly.

“Oh gosh, you scared me,” Jimin held a hand on his chest before turning around to see his beautiful boyfriend stand half awake at the doorstep of his greenhouse.

“I’m watering my flowers! Look, Yoongi hyung! Aren’t they so pretty?” Jimin excitedly pointed as his batch of red and white roses that were beautifully trimmed beside the little pond with a few lilies in them.

Jimin had a soft spot for flowers. Every gorgeous flower bed he passed he would stare admiringly at them before asking Yoongi to take a photo of the flower bed so he could have inspiration for his very own, one day. Ever his parents’ love bloomed inside a florist's - his mum’s own florist to be exact.

Yoongi although, was quite the opposite. He didn’t care about flowers, nature, wildlife. Yoongi was sort of an introvert - he had prefered to stay inside, cooped up in his room, not dealing with any drama or business outside his house. Not that he was anti-social or anything, there were days he would love to go outside, have a few drinks with his close friends and have a blast like never before. Though, Yoongi’s passion was very different than being a florist or a botanist. No, his was music making. He’d work hours and hours, days to weeks on a simple song.

Usually, Yoongi would find inspiration from the endless amounts of books he had downstairs in the living room since his roommate Namjoon loved reading and being all psychological with them. Namjoon had told Yoongi countless times he hated pure romantic novels and wanted a ‘kick’ out of the twists from his other books, but Yoongi knew he had kept a stash of romantic books under his underwear in the third drawer.

But when he met Jimin, the ideas never vanished. Day after day, seeing Jimin would inspire Yoongi to write at least 3 lines of his song and sometimes Yoongi would even finish the song in the same day which was really rare.

Ever since then, Yoongi had been falling for the flower boy that he even started buying plants and flowers to decorate his apartment and even his own room - just to help him when Jimin was off limits to call; earning a dude, why are you suddenly buying a ton of flowers for the house? I thought you never liked flowers... from his roommate as he watched Yoongi stack the flowers neatly on top of a shelf he just built. But unfortunately, since they were real flowers, Yoongi would always forget to water them and eventually they’d die off.

“The flowers look gorgeous, Jimin. Must be a pain in the to keep these all watered and healthy,” Yoongi muttered as he wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist, feeling the muscles tense a little before relaxing again.

“Not at all! You know how much I love flowers, so watering them is like you writing a few lines for your song - you’ll never forget about it and everyday you’ll think about them.” Jimin happily said as the older male placed a soft kiss on Jimin’s jaw.

“You’re so cute when you talk about flowers you know that?”

“But you’re even cuter when your tongue sticks out when you’re concentrating on getting the right lyrics for your rap,” Jimin replied, easily spinning around and planting a quick kiss on Yoongi’s lips, making him want more.

“Are you done watering yet?”

“Almost!”

“Hurry up, I miss you in bed...” Yoongi yawned, a small chuckle leaving Jimin’s mouth. “I’ll be quick, go back to bed and I’ll meet you there in a bit.” Jimin pecked Yoongi once again, but this time Yoongi pulled Jimin close to him so that their kiss would last much, much longer than Jimin’s torturous short ones.

Yoongi and Jimin have been dating for a little over 2 years now, and even waking up to one another is still exciting to the both of them. Yes, because they are opposites sometimes their activities conflict. Yoongi sometimes has an anger issues when he’s stressed and having trouble connecting his ideas with his music, and Jimin - being a little sweetheart, doesn’t think twice and quickly brings up a cup of water with Yoongi’s favourite noodle soup that Jimin makes, leaving tender kisses on Yoongi’s tensed face which always seems to do the job. Sometimes Jimin wants to go out for a couple of drinks to loosen up, but Yoongi always replies with no, I have a ton of work to do and I need to get them done now, breaking the poor boy’s heart when he tries to convince Yoongi to let go for just a night, only to receive a dirty look and a harsh no is no, Jimin back.

But that never torn them apart, no matter how angry or jealous Yoongi was, no matter how clingy or annoying Jimin was, they loved each other too much to be even a day apart from each other.

“Do you have to do much today?” Yoongi asked Jimin as he climbed onto the bed, plopping his lean, muscular body onto the spot beside his smaller-by-2-cm-but-still-pisses-Yoongi-off-about-it boyfriend, giving him yet another one of his loving kisses.

“I have to go to the market later to buy some groceries. We’re running out of food and somebody has been craving strawberries with sugar a lot lately.” Jimin chuckled, shaking the bed a little.

“Well, I’m not Suga for no reason,” Yoongi cheekily replied as Jimin roared in laughter. Jimin’s high laughter was melodic in Yoongi’s ears. He’d do anything to listen to his laughter for as long as he lives.

The two stared lovingly in each other’s eyes. They’re so in love with each other that even looking at each other could make their day brighter than the sun could.

“I love you so much.” Jimin mumbled first. Yoongi didn’t reply, but just simply flashed his killer smile at Jimin, making him grin. Gently pulling Jimin towards Yoongi, the two shared an incredible, emotional kiss as if they were departing from one another. Pulling away from the lack of oxygen, Yoongi simply placed a longing kiss on his forehead before turning around to face the other way, and drift off to sleep once again.

This had been a routine for Jimin. Wake up at the crack of dawn and shuffling out the door into the greenhouse to water his precious plants. Yoongi barely moved a muscle, even if he was tossing and turning Yoongi still would be deep enough in a sleep to realise his boyfriend was missing.

It had been like this for months. Though Yoongi hated waking up to a cold the cold and nothing to cling onto for an extra hour or so, he had soon gotten used to it.

He had gotten used to it, until one morning.

He had woken up surprisingly earlier than Jimin that day. It was strange, because Jimin had not once failed waking up at the crack of dawn to water his plants. Even if he had something like the cold or as severe as a fever, he’d still get up and water the plants like it was the only way to make him better.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Every time he had stepped into the precious greenhouse of his, he’d leave with a smile on his face and his mood much more happier than he went in with. Gosh, even when he looked like a zombie his smile never failed to brighten up Yoongi’s day. He loved it so much, he wouldn’t know how to survive if Jimin had left him.

It was 7:38am. Too damn early, Yoongi immediately thought, throwing his phone back onto the wooden bedside table and plopping his head back onto his pillow; instantly cuddling up against Jimin more for body heat.

But, that was what was strange. He was able to cuddle up to Jimin.

Yoongi’s eye shot open again once he heard ragged and uneven breathing from the younger male. His body was oddly hot, and a rather thick layer of sweat formed on his forehead and carried on down his body.

Alert, Yoongi shot up and immediately sprinted to the bathroom. Never had he thought he would have such adrenaline in the morning, but this was desperate.

Grabbing a large basin and filling it with ice cold water from the tap, Yoongi threw a towel into the water and quickly shuffled back to the sick boy.

Submerging the towel into the water, Yoongi grimaced at the coldness of the water. One reason why he hated waking up so early in the morning was because it was freezing cold most of the time.

The once heavy towel was now drained from water and folded neatly, Yoongi placing it on top of the younger’s burning forehead. He sighed in worry, shaking his head and mumbling incoherent words about how Jimin should take care of himself more.

Yoongi wasn’t tired - surprisingly, but he wasn’t bored either. He sat contently watching his boyfriend’s breathing even out after the cold towel mixed with the hot skin; thinking about all the times Jimin sacrificed his sleep for Yoongi when he fell sick and scoffed.

“You work too hard sometimes Jimin,” he mumbled, his lips pulling into a gentle smile. “But I’m thankful. Without you, maybe we both wouldn’t be the way we are now.” Yoongi bent down and placed a delicate kiss on Jimin’s cheek as he slept away, lifting the now warm towel and dumping it into the cold water again and repeating the process before heading off and made himself a small breakfast.

A few hours later, the boy had woken up and was even in a worse condition than before. He was shivering, sneezing, coughing, and to top it off he had a busting headache and his muscles ached a lot.

“Jeez, Jimin what did you do to yourself?” Yoongi muttered as he gently pulled the sick boy into his own body to create more heat under the blanket. “You’ve never been this sick before...” Jimin didn’t even had the strength to reply, so Yoongi just continued pulling him closer and rubbing his sickeningly cold arms littered with goosebumps, and kissed the crown of his head.

At first, Yoongi didn’t think much of it. He thought it was just another fever and that it’ll be over before they know it.

But, it wasn’t.

It just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse. To the point where Jimin could no longer breathe and his temperature dropping quite drastically. To the point where Jimin had to be admitted into hospital.

“How long has he been like this?” The doctor’s eyes stayed put on his clipboard as he flipped through multiple pages.

“Uh about a week. I thought he was getting better because he could finally do his normal routine, but when I found him collapsed at the greenhouse I knew there was something wrong.”

“Greenhouse? Is Mr. Park planting some flowers that he is allergic to or maybe some illegal substance in the plants?”

“No, Jimin’s not like that. He’s a good guy, I go through his plants everyday and none of them affect me. So no illegal substances, and Jimin got himself checked not long ago and I was there, so nothing that could cause him to have an allergic reaction.” Yoongi’s eyes dropped to the floor as he vaguely remembered the numerous plants Jimin had in the greenhouse.

“Well, according to my test results, I’ve found something more severe than an allergic reaction.” Yoongi’s eyes immediately locked with the doctor’s.

“Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi.”

“Yoongi,” the doctor sighed. “Mr. Park is ill. Severely ill.”

Yoongi’s heart stopped once the words left the doctor’s mouth. Something inside him felt the need to shout out a sarcastic remark, but he knew it wasn’t a time to be joking about like this.

The doctor explained to Yoongi Jimin’s illness. Yoongi had no idea about illnesses or medicines, but what he did pick up very well was that this was life threatening and many people have died from having this illness.

Yoongi wanted to drop to the floor and wail and kick about. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to know the reason why Jimin - out of all people - had to suffer from this. He wanted to know why God hates him so much.

But he couldn’t move. Shell shocked, confused, upset; too many emotions to list how Yoongi is feeling.

Yoongi is the quiet angry type of person. He didn’t scream out, he didn’t turn to anyone for help, he didn’t simply just sat with his hands balled into a fist and knuckles white as he refrained from breaking the furniture and denting the walls.

Anger tears bundled up in his eyes and he closed them shut, refusing them to escape; but he wasn’t as strong as he thought and most of it slipped through his damp eyelashes and down his once soft cheeks.

He hated it. Why couldn’t it be him instead? What has he got to offer? Jimin is an angel, he has such a caring and loving heart with a gorgeous smile that can make anyone’s day happier even if his lips tugged at one side. He shouldn’t suffer like this. He shouldn’t be the one going through this.

Yoongi grunted, getting up angrily and managed to knock his chair over in anger; muttering a short thanks to the doctor before taking his leave, every footstep he took sounded like a giant walking through a forest.

Yoongi’s enraged heart slammed against his rib cage in shocking speeds - the only sounds that entered his ears was his booming footsteps and his crazy heart pounding to get out of his chest. He speed walked towards Jimin’s room only to find him asleep soundly, like nothing had ever happened.

Sighing, he opened the door and gently as ever closed the door. Sitting down, he stared at his boyfriend who he knew now was suffering at this moment, and Yoongi can’t do anything to help him fight this. For the nth time, he sighed.

“Stop sighing or else you won’t have enough oxygen to breathe,” a deep and hoarse mumble escaped the still boy’s mouth and Yoongi’s body shot up.

“Are you alright? How are you feeling? Are you still sick?”

“No wonder I don’t let you see me sick, you’re so annoying,” Jimin chuckled.

“Yah, this isn’t the time to say things like that. I’m worried sick, and you’re playing it off by saying I’m annoying?” Yoongi bitterly replied, his face not changing to any emotion other than pissed off.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” With that, the ice in Yoongi melted. He had always loved it when Jimin called him hyung.

“Ah, it’s fine. I’m sorry for overreacting, I was worried. I still am, I’m worried sick about you Jimin... Why didn’t you tell me about your condition?” Yoongi’s voice was a lot more softer now and his body relaxed. His tensed shoulders flattened and it made Jimin sigh in relief.

“I didn’t want you to overreact and worry so much like you are now... But I guess it couldn’t be avoided huh?” Jimin slightly smiled which made Yoongi scoff.

“Yeah, you’re damn right it couldn’t be avoided.”

The room was silent again; the heart monitor beeped away like normal. Jimin avoided Yoongi’s piercing glare and fiddled with his hands, as Yoongi paced back and forth in the room.

“Hyung, I love you.”

Yoongi abruptly stopped, his back was facing Jimin and his eyes were wide. His body relaxed as he released yet another sigh and turned back to the boy, sitting down in the chair beside his bed.

“I love you too, Jimin; you little dweeb.” Yoongi laughed and Jimin followed. Yoongi leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Jimin’s chapped lips and pulled away, but Jimin pulled him closer by hooking his hand around the back of Yoongi’s neck, only to be stopped when there was a knock on the door.

“I’m sorry, but the visiting hours are now over.” A nurse had popped in and popped out again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? Sleep well, and don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything at all. I love you,” with one last kiss, Yoongi departed from his boyfriend’s room.

Much to Yoongi’s dismay, no matter how many medication Jimin was taking, he wasn’t getting any better. The symptoms were getting worse, and Jimin looked more paler, more fragile, more lifeless than he usually looks.

Day after day, Yoongi’s hope started to die. He kept telling himself Jimin was going to get better, Jimin is going to get better, and soon he’ll be back to attending the flowers.

The flowers... Yoongi hadn’t watered them in a while... Ever since Jimin was admitted into hospital, Yoongi hadn’t been anywhere near the greenhouse.

He had wondered if they had died. Or if some had died.

Because Yoongi was sure bits of him were dying at this moment, and he couldn’t do anything to bring it back to life.

✧✧✧

1 year and 3 months. That’s all it took.

That’s all it took for the virus to get through Jimin’s body and devour him alive.

He was fighting with all the strength and hope he had left, with little help from antibiotics and strong medication; but the virus still won.

It took 1 year and 3 months to break Yoongi into pieces, and with Jimin’s death, it finished him off.

Yoongi hadn’t stepped outside of his room other than going to the toilet and heading to the supermarket to restock on ramen and beer. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, but that seems to be the only thing he knew how to do nowadays - waste his time by drinking.

For once in a long time, he had stepped outside. Out the back of the house, and into the greenhouse.

Smells like Jimin, was the first thought that entered his mind. Glancing to the right, were all the supposedly blooming flowers lay dead and lifeless, he had imagined Jimin sighing in pity before regretfully taking the pot down and setting up a new pot for a new ready-to-bloom flower.

Flicking his head to the right, there lay the once-perfect colour coded flowers. From the pure whites to the deep purple and blue, they all lost their colour over the neglected period of time. Just like how Yoongi lost his colours - because without Jimin, Yoongi was like an unfinished painting.

He said nothing. Not a peep, not a sigh, nothing. He simply just trudged over towards the abandoned watering can, lifting it up - still silent, and walked over to the spare tap in the corner of the greenhouse.

The sound of water hitting against the metal can filled the air, as the bird chirped away and the leaves were rustling in the wind. It was a normal, beautiful day, but it still felt empty and bare.

Then, Yoongi began to water all the flowers.

Left to right, not missing any flowers. The benches brushed to a certain extent - were most of the leaves were gone but some was still left for a little bit of aesthetic, just how Jimin liked it.

The footpath cleared of excess dirt and maybe some fallen petals, plant pots placed in a certain direction so that it all fits and have some space in between so the plants don’t end up intertwining. That’s what made Yoongi scoff. Who knew someone would be so organised and have so many rules for a greenhouse.

But that was Jimin’s prized possession. Other than his own boyfriend and personal belongings, his greenhouse was like his second home... Just without the furniture and the food and the comfy bed.

He had responsibility, he had something to brag about, he had something he can express his love for.

But all of that was taken away. Though Jimin was the one that left, it had certainly looked like the flowers left with him.

Yoongi tried his best. Honestly.

Day after day, he had attended the flowers just as he watched Jimin, just as Jimin had taught him.

So... Why weren’t the flowers getting any better?

The droops and bends in the flowers upset Yoongi. The discoloured petals made Yoongi frown in confusion, and the half brown half green leaves that were torn made Yoongi angry. What was he doing wrong?

Did the plants somehow realise it wasn’t Jimin - their ‘owner’ taking care of them? Yoongi laughed at his own thoughts. Who was he kidding, plants don’t know nothing other than living and creating foods.

Eventually, Yoongi gave up.

He gave up.

Just like how Jimin’s body gave up.

Every Thursday night he would stare out into the sky in the balcony that was attached to his and Jimin’s bedroom. Regardless of weather, Yoongi would stand outside for an hour straight, just staring at the greenhouse, then back up to the sky, then back down to the greenhouse.

Almost - if not all - plants were bound to be dead now. He wanted to keep it going, to push on Jimin’s hobby, but he simply just couldn’t do it. He had the money to hire a gardener. He had the money to buy a new upgraded greenhouse, with prettier and larger quantities of flowers. But Yoongi just left it.

If he had adjusted any of it, the sense of Jimin’s pride was lost; and it was the only main thing of Jimin left for Yoongi.

About two months have passed since the death of Jimin and Yoongi was still the same. Though he got the courage to finally look normal and not like a zombie, and go out to get some fresh air and back to his work again as a music producer.

But every Thursday night, he would go back to his old self. The self that refused to eat, move, do anything at all. Just with a nice and cold beer in one hand while the other was wrapped around the other arm; his body leaning against the freezing fence as he stared into the night sky.

“How are you doing up there, Jimin?” He would always begin. “Today was alright.” Yoongi sighed, and began to tell the sparkly navy sky about his day without missing a single detail.

“I wrote another song about you today. It’s called Red Rose.”

“Why is it called Red Rose? Well, simply because red roses symbolise love, beauty, and passion. And you are like a red rose. My red rose.”