> jung hoseok, not the heart wrenching angst, but still kinda angsty, songfic (ed sheeran - photograph), 1613 words (excluding lyrics)

“Loving can hurt,

Loving can hurt sometimes.

But it's the only thing that I know.

When it gets hard;

You know it can get hard sometimes.

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive.”

Hoseok was that kind of guy that you could ring up at 2am and he’d run over to you without a second thought. Hoseok was that kind of guy that would sacrifice his plans just to make sure you weren’t on the verge of tears waiting outside your workplace to calm down after your boss had scolded you.

Hoseok was a great guy. But you were too oblivious to notice what his actions meant.

When fights happen and you’re left in an emotional wreck with tear-stained cheeks, painful and bloodshot eyes with puffy cheeks, Hoseok was your go-to guy. Though it hurt Hoseok a lot to see you so upset and in pain - to the point where even he himself wants to cry out for you, he still has his head held high and a bright grin etched onto his face so that he could pass it onto you.

You loved him. Not particularly under romantic terms, though. And that’s what broke his heart every day; knowing your happiness only lay with him briefly before being swept away by your current boyfriend.

But when you were beaten, battered and bruised, you turn your love to Hoseok and he gladly returns the feeling because it’s the only thing that keeps you pushing when hard times fall on your shoulders.

“We keep this love in a photograph.

We made these memories for ourselves.

Where our eyes are never closing;

Hearts are never broken;

Time’s forever frozen still.”

Selfies, videos, odd pictures, even pictures that didn’t have anybody in them were your and Hoseok’s favourite things in the entire world. Because you both knew, a smile will always slip onto your faces - intended or not. Happiness will spread and radiate from your bodies once remembering a hilarious memory with one another - because really, that’s all the memories you had with each other. Not once had you had a fall out, or a moment where it made your stomach knot in sickness or fear for your friendship ending.

Though you two were nothing more than the closest friends in the entire world, the both of you had kept a photograph of each other in your wallets.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Someone asked you while you were seated on the packed train, a small smile definitely evident in your face.

“No... But he’s a great, great, guy and I’m more than lucky enough to know him.”

“So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans.

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet.

You won't ever be alone.

Wait for me to come home.”

“Why do you always have a photo of Hoseok in your pockets? Isn’t that a little weird since you’re dating me?” Your boyfriend would always fire at you when he came home stressed, tipsy and angry.

“He’s my best friend, why are you getting so worked up about it?!”

“Are you ing blind? Or do you just have a hard time seeing that he is in love with you! Why do you think he’d always be there for you when you’re down?! Or when you’re fighting with me?!”

“Because he’s my best friend! What part of best friend do you not understand?”

“I don’t care what he is to you! You’re going to stop seeing him, and definitely you’re not going to have any more of his photos in your pockets or your purse!”

“And if you hurt me,

That's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go...”

“I’m sorry Hoseok, I can’t see you anymore...” You dreadfully spoke; heart twitching, snapping and breaking at those words coming out of your mouth. You didn’t know how, or why even say that since you cared about him so much.

“Why? Is it something I did? Something I said? I’m sorry if it is ____, I just-”

“No, Hoseok... It’s nothing bad it’s just-”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” His voice came out in a whisper, confirming his assumptions when you hadn’t spoke a word after that but only glanced a regretful and upset look at him.

Not a word was spoken and heavy silence and awkwardness hung in the air. You didn’t know what to say just in case you had angered Hoseok, and Hoseok simply didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry Hoseok,” you lastly spoke; his hand gently before he pulled away - your heart officially smashing and falling to pieces. Feeling your tears well up in your eyes, you gave him a last glance with your glossy eyes before grabbing your belongings and leaving the cafe.

“Oh you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were 16

Next to your heartbeat

Where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul.”

You forcefully ripped out the necklace your boyfriend of a year and 5 months had given you.

“You can take this back and give it to your new damn girlfriend, see if I care!” Throwing the silver necklace onto the coffee table, you had stormed back upstairs to retrieve your suitcase which you had packed just in time prior to your boyfriend’s return from his new girlfriend’s home.

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not dating her!”

“Well you might as well be since you’re already all over her!” You had shuffled down the stairs fast so that your ex-boyfriend didn’t catch up to you. Rolling the large suitcase by the door, you quickly slipped on your shoes before being grabbed rather harshly.

“Let go of m-!” He had silenced you with a kiss. He had the cheek to silence you with a kiss. Usually, if he was still your boyfriend and you still loved him, this would have been cute. But this was quite the opposite.

Pulling away harshly, you threw your palm against his right cheek with as much force you could muster; a few tears fell without your permission.

“You’re sick.” Were your final words before you had stormed out of your ex-boyfriend’s house and out of his life.

Sitting on the train to your friend’s house, you lifted out a necklace you had fished out from one of your vanities. It was a necklace you got when you were 16 - specifically from Hoseok.

Flicking the button, it popped open and inside were two little, tiny photos of when you and Hoseok were 16. All glammed up in a navy elegant dress and a noir suit with pristine white coloured shirt and black tie, it was taken just after your prom which you had both went together.

Again, a sad smile sat on your mouth. You hadn’t spoken to him after the small talk from the cafe and you’d be lying if you had said you didn’t miss his hyper personality and bright smiles.

Pulling out your phone, you hesitantly dialed his number. A few rings had passed, and the phone picked up but no one had spoken a word.

You sniffed.

“I miss you.”

“When I'm away

I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost

Back on 6th street

Hearing you whisper through the phone,

"Wait for me to come home."

The kiss was sweet. It all happened too quick for your mind to process. But it happened.

Meeting up by the bus stop straight after your call had ended like your relationship, you immediately rushed towards Hoseok’s open arms; him engulfing you whole as he gently your back with ease and comfort.

“It’s okay, you’ll be fine. You’re safe with me,” he repeated on and on, soothing you completely to the point where you didn’t even want to break away but just fall asleep in his embrace.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I done that,” you had cried in his shirt, anger and regret flowing through you. Hoseok didn’t reply, but continued to rub your back, gently patting your head.

Then it happened. Locking eye contact, Hoseok swiftly brought down his lips, leaving you speechless and breathless by the end of a minute.

The kiss was sweet, but short. You wanted to savour it, so you done the boldest thing you had ever thought of. Kiss him back.

Entering another lip locking battle, Hoseok smiled into the kiss as he pulled you tighter and closer, as if you were to vanish once he had let go. The lamppost above the two only illuminated a small circle brightly around the two while the rest of the light bounced off inanimate objects. He didn’t want to lose you again. He couldn’t do that again.

Waiting in line, you puffed out your cheeks; fanning yourself with your ticket that was embedded in your passport.

You had decided to take a new step in life. Get over this old you, start a new you.

So you did.

Booking a flight straight to England where you’ll finally be doing something you’ve always wanted to do but never got the chance to. Getting accepted into Oxford University is probably the most exciting but nerve wracking and frightful thing that you have ever been told. You were one step closer to your dream job, but it was also a step too far from your friends and family.

Especially Hoseok.

“Always eat your meals, don’t skip any. I don’t care if it’s 2 in the morning and you’re writing out a 10 page essay on something so irrelevant, do not skip meals!” Hoseok shouted down the phone. Unfortunately, due to work he couldn’t leave you off which not only made you extremely upset but him also scowling at his boss and giving him a temporary cold shoulder.

“Stay happy, stay healthy. If you need anyone to talk to, rant to, cry to, you know who to call. I don’t care if it’s 5 in the morning and I have work at half 5, call me if you feel any uneasiness, okay? Promise?” You chuckled at how demanding your boyfriend was. It was cute and it made you smile, but you knew as soon as you got off the phone you’d leave with anything but a happy smile.

Softly chuckling, you nodded. “Yes yes Hoseok, I promise. I got everything, I’ll remember to call you when I arrive and tell you everything all the time. Don’t miss me too much!” You joked.

“Jagiya, you know that’s hard for me,” he whined.

“I know...” A soft smile replaced your grin and your eyes glossed.

“Wait for me to come home.”