park jimin, angst, 1688 words, requested on tumblr.

There was a girl. She had a smile as bright as the sun, a laugh that is as cheerful as a happy song, and a personality like an angel’s. The last thing anyone would think about would be her having a dark side. A dark side, where she preferred to stay at home all day, with pulled down into a frown and often turning into a scowl now and again. Each sentence containing at least one swear word, and a personality as rude as an angered stray animal.

Someone that is as beautiful as her, as sweet as her, had to be taken advantaged of sometime, one way or another. Though she forgave and forgot quicker than you could snap your fingers; this, was a different story.

She fell into a little hole called love. Love, though many people think it’s a blessing and a great thing, sometimes it just isn’t for everybody. Unfortunately, she was one of these people that fate decided shouldn’t have a happy ending like all those fairytales that you read in books or see on TV shows.

Catching her so called loved one sharing what looked like quite a heated lip locking contest, her purity and innocence shattered into pieces and was replaced with a broken heart mended with sellotape and super glue.

Since then, she had built walls and locked her heart in several cages so that she wouldn’t have to go through such a hard time again.

She remembered it so clearly. The devil in her being released as she watched her ‘loved one’ shoot her a panicked look. The words, “I’m sorry, it-it was a mistake, I promise! You know I love you!” escaping his poor little swollen and red lips he used to attack the other woman’s own pair.

Scoffing she looked at the confused woman trying to shelter herself ever so slightly from the piercing glare she was receiving. “You are pathetic,” were the only words that left and flung knives into her ex-lover’s heart before turning on her heel and stormed away. She had so much to say. She wanted to say a lot. But she couldn’t, because she knew this feeling was foreign, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle it well.

Days after days, weeks after weeks, months after months, she tried everything in her book, suggestions from the internet and recommendations from her personal friends on how to get over such a heartbreak, but she always fell back at square one. Endless tears shed and sleeping on empty stomachs for days - who knew how much weight she had lost over the months. Eyes red and sore from all the rubbing, nose clogged from the constant sniffing, face as dead as a zombie and hair as crazy as a birds nest - she didn’t care. It wasn’t like she was going to impress anyone anytime soon.

She built her walls up so high because she was scared that whenever she tore them down for another boy, the boy will only betray and hurt her once again. You learn from your mistakes, they said; so the best thing to do in her book was to simply not love again.

Until one day, a boy trotted along into the music store where she was working, humming away at the song that was being played through the speakers of the shop in a low volume. She watched with careful eyes, ears perking at every hum that reached her ears, making sure to not look as noticeable just in case he had caught her.

She had seen him quite a lot actually. He’d always come in every Thursday after 3pm, usually around 3:30pm - if not, 4pm. It looked like he has an interest in the older music; bands like Nirvana or Bon Jovi or singers like Jeff Buckley. He’d always go through the back to view all the instruments that were on display, and even ask to play a few of them.

She had overheard his name was Jimin, and now and then he would flash a sweet smile at her when he had seen her before picking up one of the newer Taylor acoustic guitars and strumming it a few times to see if it was in tune.

“I never got your name,” Jimin had asked as he threw his hand to his back pocket and lifted out a rather large leather wallet.

“Oh, it’s _________,” she replied with a small but evident blush hanging on her cheeks.

“What a beautiful name,” he had flashed his smile before taking the rather large and heavy bag from the smaller female. “I’ll see you about then, _____?” Jimin’s voice broke the smaller girl out of her thoughts as she quickly nodded and waved. What are you doing to me, Jimin?

Jimin had visited more often and the two had gotten to become closer to the point of good friends. In the midst of everything, she was happy. She was happy because she can finally be herself again and not worry or mope about all day long.

Though, she would be lying if she had said she hadn’t thought about him being a love interest. Though she swore not to open her heart up to anybody in a romantic way for a long time (until her heart has been stitched up properly) the thought kept in her head and lingered after she had pushed it away.

They became great friends and the last thing she wanted was them to fall apart by some silly love request. He was everything anyone could have asked for in a friend. Sweet, caring, loving, funny, and though it’s normal to have manners and be a gentleman, sometimes she would think Jimin had taken things too far with his mannerism and acted a little, oh should I say, more couple like with her. She would always shake her head, telling herself that they were going to be nothing more than friends.

Though she couldn’t have been so wrong in her life. The more he was around her, the more he embraced her, loved her, treated her like a princess but also like a fragile porcelain doll, she couldn’t help but fall in love.

And that meant code red.

She wouldn’t lie - she would admit she wanted to love him. She wants to date him, experience what it is like to love somebody and to be loved back again, taste them plump cherry looking lips he applies a specific strawberry lip balm on everyday without fail. Have him look at her like she was the only woman in the entire world, like she was his own world.

But she couldn’t.

She couldn’t take that risk again. She wouldn’t take that risk again.

She was afraid.

“I have something to tell you, _______,” Jimin broke the silence that hung between the two as they slowly strolled around the beach that was also linked to a park. Kids laughter and dogs barking could be heard on their right, while on their left, the waves beating against the rocks and splashes of feet and paws reached their ears. The wind blew and whistled, not too harsh but not soft either.

“Hm?” She replied, one of her hands was holding her hat while the other held tightly onto the brown picnic basket full of food.

People easily mistaken them as a couple, as to which she would reply with a quick shake of head and a laugh, followed by a, no, not at all; which broke Jimin’s heart incredibly.

“I...” he started off. “I just wanted to take the time to tell you how much I really like you.” That was it. Those were the words she dreaded hearing the most, and she knew that someday those would slip out of his mouth.

“You’re so sweet and kind, so loving and funny, everything I want in a girl. I know you have had such a bad past with guys but please, I promise I won’t be like him. I promise I will treasure you with all my heart and soul and love you until the day I die. I’ll risk everything for you: my health, my life, my money, everything. I will protect you and cherish you like no other. Please, can you be my girlfriend?”

She melted at the words that were spoken from her love interest. She tried so so hard to release the chains and break down her walls for someone like him. But, that was what her ex-boyfriend said too when he confessed.

She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t force herself into saying yes and then become very uncomfortable, as even with the thought of dating him makes a chill run down her spine and her hands turning cold. She didn’t want to say no, because he looked very sincere and the last thing she would want was him being upset.

So she followed her guts, her brain, and her heart.

“No, I’m sorry Jimin...” Voice barely a whisper but loud enough to be heard by the man. His eyes widened and her eyes fell with guilt and sorrow. She truly honestly wanted to date him, but now it was too late to even try to get that into his brain that was probably clouded with hundreds and thousands of questions as to why.

“W-why?”

“I just- I can’t- I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Jimin,” her voice slowly turned mute and now only her lips were moving as her head turned from side to side quickly. The memories of how she was like after the horrible break up and especially what caused the break up flashed through her head painfully as tears welled up in her eyes.

It played in her head over and over again like a broken record; and no matter what she done it could never leave her head.

“I’m so sorry Jimin,” she whispered before taking off. Running away from her fears. Running away from what could've been another few months in depression. Running away from something even her heart can’t hide from.