> ot7, inspired by butterfly lyrics, songfic, 1371 words (including lyrics). | tumblr ver. 

“Don’t think about anything.

Don’t say anything.

Just give me a smile.”

Jin glanced down with painful, bloodshot eyes. He felt the tears well up once more, his heart slamming against his rib cage in rage and grief. He wanted to believe this was a lie, this wasn’t real, this can’t be real.

As much as he kept telling himself it wasn’t real, that this was all a nightmare, he couldn’t run away from reality. And it was so, so painful.

“I still cannot believe this.

All of this feels like a dream.

Please don’t disappear...”

It felt like just yesterday they had the best time of their life. It felt like just yesterday, they got back from that painful 2 hour journey back from one of the biggest beaches in Korea; laughing and sharing jokes despite being drained and exhausted.

It felt like just yesterday, their minds were worry free and all they cared about was who was going to buy the pizza for dinner.

Jin sat on a plain, old and scratched bench in front of 5 caskets. The comfort was nowhere near as pleasant as the caskets, but he was happy he was sitting here than being in there.

Just yesterday, he had found out his 6 friends had committed suicide.

“Will you stay by my side?

Will you promise me?

If I land a finger on you,

I’m afraid that you will fly away or break.”

“Jin hyung, Jin hyung! What are we eating for dinner today?” He could hear Jimin’s voice in his head as he stared at the sky blue casket with his peaceful body in it, mixing in with Jimin’s skin as it was as pale as the clouds and the icy water they had found him in. Jimin was so loveable, Jin was never angry with Jimin. He was a little ball of happiness that followed his older ball of happiness around radiating and spreading the love and happiness. Jin will definitely miss his smiles and cheerful laughter around the house.

Eyes skimming torturously slow to the next one, he felt his tears a few tears drip. Though it wasn’t a casket it was a dark burning shade of orange; just like the colours of the flames that ignited around Yoongi. Yoongi was someone he felt like he could relate the most to, despite the personality clashes.

“The kids were so loud today,” he could hear Young’s groans as he fell onto the bed beside Jin’s followed by Jin’s own laugh. “They’re kids, let them be.” Jin’s voice echoed. He sounded so happy. Happier than he is currently, and will be in the next few years or so.

Glancing at the mixed colours that looked like bruises - the red and black casket, he chuckled. “Hyung~~ can we buy some Iron Man action figures today? I heard there were new models, and plus I can increase my collection!!” Jungkook’s excited voice rang out as he tugged on Jin’s sleeve. After being left deserted in the street covered in blood-soaked clothing, Jin lost his smile. The precious baby of the group was gone just like that.

Laying preciously beside the youngest, was also one of his favourite people in the entire world. Surrounded with yellow daffodils and orchids, was the ball of sunshine himself; Hoseok. Hoseok’s death hit Jin the most because despite thinking he knew Hoseok inside out, when he was upset, angry, alone, he still didn’t see through the thick doors he was hiding behind. The thick doors of depression. Hoseok was such a bubbly boy, it pained Jin the most seeing such a happy boy fall into something as scary as depression.

“Hyung... WAKE UP!! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP~~~!” Hoseok’s voice would screech in Jin’s ear, startling him, making him fall out of bed as Hoseok cackled away at the irritated male. “Cheer up hyung! It’s a bright and sunny day today! Smile~!”

The next one, which was oddly and irritatingly pale white, laid Namjoon’s ashes. Jin hated looking at it. Simply because it was white - white was supposed to symbolise life and happiness, purity and peace. Not to be the colour of one of his closest and most dearest friend’s box filled with his ashes. He hated it. He hated it so much. “Hyung, help me out here,” Namjoon would always ask Jin to accompany him or help him with the songs or poems he’d write occasionally. “Do you think this sounds nice here?” or “Do you think this makes sense? I’ve been looking at this for too long that it’s gone all weird for me,” Namjoon’s low chuckle could be heard after his string of words. He missed him too damn much. Namjoon was supposed to be the leader of this group, the person who guides the way for the rest of the team while we all support each other. Why did he have to go, too?

Last but not least, the last casket. The last survivor, before he also turned to depression. Kim Taehyung.

Kim Taehyung was a special one. Although he was just like Jimin and Hoseok, his mindset was so different and so... odd that it wasn’t just comprehendible at times.

But at the end, Jin understood every single word that had came out of the boy’s mouth.

“Hyung-,” he’d start off. “Do you like butterflies?”

“Butterflies? That’s an odd question... but yes, I do. Why?”

“Butterflies are so beautiful. They’re so free, they can roam anywhere they want...”

“But they’re also very fragile things, Taehyung. Don’t forget that butterflies may be free, but they’re also caged because they can’t go far or do anything adventurous because they are so fragile.” Jin replied.

“Hyung, promise me you’ll stay by my side forever?” Taehyung held out his pinky. “I promise, Taehyung. I’ll stay by your side and everyone’s side until the very end.” Jin hooked his own pinky around Taehyung’s, sealing the promise with a smile. “I promise too, hyung.”

“I’m afraid, afraid, afraid.

Will you stop the time if this moment passes?

I’m afraid that you’ll forget me, and act like nothing happened.

I’m afraid, afraid, afraid...”

You lied to me. You ing lied to me, you bastard. You’re so ing mean Taehyung, why did you lie to me and go off like that? Jin felt anger bubble inside of him. Anger tears formed and immediately dripped from his eyes like a rainfall. Never ending and hard.

It was so painful... It was so painful to look at the very last casket with Taehyung’s body, with the image of Taehyung’s smile etched in Jin’s head. It was so ing painful, that Jin started shaking.

“Hyung~ what would happen if we stopped being friends?” Jimin’s curious voice rang out. “Don’t be silly Jimin, that’ll never happen,” Jin sighed annoyingly at the question and Yoongi slapped Jimin on the back of the head. “But... it is a question... Sometimes I think about that myself...” Taehyung replied, earning a smack from Yoongi as well. Jin sighed and closed his eyes. “I reassure you, we’re never going to split up okay? And even if we do- which won’t happen! - We’ll never forget one another, for sure. We’ll always remember each other, no matter what road we take or where we go in life, we’ll always be in each other’s mind. Forever. We’re brothers, brothers never forget each other; especially not us.” Jin said in a heartbeat. The whole camp went quiet and the only sound that was heard was the fire crackling in the logs, placed in the middle of the 7 boys on a dark, Tuesday night outside their house. It was a nice little get together, but Jin felt as if it was ruined after that question.

“Butterfly, like a butterfly, like a butterfly...

Butterfly, like a butterfly, like a butterfly.”

Don’t forget me, you s. Rest in peace up there. I’ll miss you guys so much. Jin prayed once again before getting up out of his seat - all eyes turning towards him. He walked confidently out the double doors of the church with tears clouding his eyes.

“We’ll never forget you hyung. You can finally let us go now, we’re free. We’re free, like the butterflies.”