>> sugakookie, inspired by run mv, angst, 1386 words. a lot of profanity in this.

okay so this one's a little different - my friend and i decided to do some joint fic bcos we needed to let loose somehow after not writing for ages and also this was straight after the run mv came out.

this also doesn't have a plot to it. basically, this took place during the fight and the backstory can be a little bit confusing ^^'

"When's the last time you washed your hair?" He asks Yoongi, foot tapping harshly against the wooden floor. There's a puddle of water pooling near his dresser. A drip steadily falls from the side. With a quick glance upwards to a clear glass bottle, Yoongi realizes the water might be the vodka he was drinking the night before. He doesn't know.

A drawn out sigh comes from Jungkook, and Yoongi turns his gaze to his junior. "Are you going to answer me, Yoongi?" Jungkook asks again, his voice louder than before. It reverberates in Yoongi's half-cut mind, rattling his somewhat hung brain.

"Thought I was hyung," is all Yoongi says in response. The dry chuckle that follows is hysterical. "Yoongi-hyung. Jin-hyung. You said those all the time in high school--do you remember?"

"Shut up kid, you're getting annoying," Yoongi sighs as he sits down on the wooden stool in the corner that looked like it was going to snap any minute.

"I'll shut up when you finally sort yourself out, Yoongi hyung," Jungkook sneered before taking the clear glass bottle away from Yoongi's reach before he has the chance to destroy his liver.

"Give me that back you rascal!" Grunting, Yoongi stands up - a face that screams 'piss off' evident; though when does he not look pissed off? The elder sloppily lunged towards Jungkook, catching the younger off guard and caused him to drop the bottle.

It falls to the ground. Shatters.

Jungkook catches Yoongi and stumbles backwards. Yoongi feels the way the younger boy hisses in pain as he steps into the glass, socks soaking up the alcohol. At the very least, his cuts will be sterilized.

"ing great," Yoongi mutters, going limp in Jungkook's hold. He gets no response. It doesn't surprise him anymore; when people don't reply to the things he says, because it seems nowadays no one ing understands. Even Jimin doesn't know what to say anymore. Yoongi blows out a puff of air, frustration building, and he thinks about the arms around him in his cold, dirty apartment, how they don't know what to say either even though Yoongi had basically helped raise Jungkook through the bad times. No help.

There a really, really cold rage.

"Hyung," Jungkook says quietly. His hands come up to hold Yoongi's upper arms, pushing him back to look him straight in the eyes. Yoongi lets his hair fall into his face. "It's been eight months. Accept it." And Yoongi could go on a diatribe to express how much "accept it" sounds like "forget your best friend" in the language of pity.

Yoongi lets a smile spread across his face. Jungkook's serious expression stutters.

"No," He whispers. "No," His voice raises. "You don't ing understand, Jungkook. I don't want to. What I want is to drink. What I want is my friend back. What would you ing do, kid!? You didn't know him like I did."

Yoongi roughly shoves Jungkook back, and the boy falls into the middle of the floor. "What do you know about grief?"

"What do you know about grief?!" Yoongi shouts louder. Word after word, his two fingers hitting Jungkook's chest doubles and triples in strength as Jungkook's face twists in pain.

"H-hyung-"

"Don't hyung me! You don't know until you've been through what I've been through! You don't have the right to say anything about how I feel or what I should do to move on! All I want to do is just drink, and I swear to God Jungkook, drinking is what I will do whether you're in my way or not." Yoongi aggressively spits as he leans back and towers over Jungkook. His eyes piercing into the ones that Yoongi used to love looking at, but now everything has lost its colour.

"ing pathetic," Yoongi mumbles to himself as he stares at the broken glass shards that spread around the old flooring that was once filled with something that could make him feel even the slightest bit better in this harsh environment.

He turns away, walking back over to his chair in resignation. Yoongi doesn't have much to say, either. He walks two steps, and hears rather than sees Jungkook stand up.

A few words are whispered into the tense silence.

Yoongi stops. "Repeat that?" He asks as a command, head turning. He sees Jungkook's glare in his peripheral vision, black hair hardly hiding the utter disgust in his eyes. For a moment, Yoongi is also disgusted with himself.

"You," Jungkook's tone is fake, just like when he delivered "Jin-hyung's" eulogy, a brittle sound, "are the one who is pathetic."

" off," Yoongi says, because he knows he is pathetic. He's ing pathetic. He turns fully to Jungkook and takes a stride forward, arms stretching out to push the younger boy back. Once, "I ing know!"

Jungkook stumbles.

Twice, "You think I don't know!?"

Jungkook raises his arms and tries to push back, but his right hand slips right past Yoongi's shoulder.

Thrice, "I can't help it! I'm ed!"

Jungkook's back hits the wall and his head follows closely. Yoongi doesn't feel satisfaction in the cringe of pain.

"I'm sorry," he almost whispers, a ghost of who he should have been, but Jungkook is opening his eyes and grabbing hold of Yoongi's shirt, shaking him and shoving him. Yoongi returns the favor.

"You're not you, ! Who are you?"

The room shakes. Yoongi has a headache, but this pain is the most anyone has said to him in ages.

Yoongi’s arms dropped from the boy's shirt. The pain from his head along with the shaking of his body causes Yoongi to blank out. His vision becoming wobbly and the only thing he can feel is the pain of Jungkook's words seeping through his body, settling on his brain and burning it like it was a hot rock. The strained voice from Jungkook was silenced even though he can see his lips continue to move ever so slightly as he squints.

Ah, so this was what it felt like to be numb. Numb all over, words echoing without the chance to clear up and sound coherent, the only thought of dying and giving up flowing through the brain.

Yoongi smiles, confusing the younger as he abruptly stopped. "Who am I?" His smile developed into a grin and soon a sharp cackle escapes his mouth. "Who am I? I'm Min Yoongi and I'm ing pathetic!" He screams as he regains consciousness, his vision coming back, his hearing sharper than ever, and his strength is still slightly weak but strong enough to push the younger out of his hold.

"Truthfully," Yoongi admits, still chuckling weakly. He closes his eyes and breathes in long, letting the adrenaline settle down. The room. It's boiling hot.

It's Summer. Before then, it'd felt cold since Seokjin died and no one came over to play video games.

Yoongi feels Jungkook standing right in front of him and the hug that envelopes him makes everything feel small and tight and claustrophobic. Yoongi's smile drops and he doesn't hug back.

"It's okay," Jungkook says.

Yoongi doesn't understand. He thinks Jungkook doesn't quite understand.

"We're still here. Just stop messing up, Yoongi."

He doesn't know it's not that easy. Not when life has been messing up and the private tracks on his laptop are all about the quietest animal, the Fomalhaut star who floats alone, and a friend who didn't know how to stay.

"Alcohol killed him, you know. I was there. I can be there, too."

"Stop fighting this on your own, Yoongi. You're not the only one that is suffering from his death." Yoongi remained silent. He may not be the only person suffering from the loss of his best friend, but he is the only one that is suffering the most. The other guys have learnt how to smile again - even if it's just the corner of their mouth pulling up, they're still moving on. Yoongi - for the past six months - has been out of control. Sleeping at odd times of the day, skipping meals for days, forgetting his way to the other guys' house except for Jin's - it drove Yoongi crazy. Jungkook tightened his arms around Yoongi, pulling him back to reality.

"You can fight this Yoongi. You can fight this with us. I promise."