[160130] Hello everyone. I am sorry that it took me long enough to come back and continue this story. I am trying to settle myself and in need to re-read the story to keep the flow. I need more JaeMin feels to be honest. I hope you can bare with me until the fic end. Up until now , thank you for your support. Please forgive me >_< . I will try to catch up with normal pace of the story :) 

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Changmin scrambles to the first page of the diary ; page after the three people mentioned by him at the intro part ; if you could say it as it is. The first page …

4/2/2010

"Hello diary,

I am so so so damn happy today. I received this diary from my cute Taekwoonie. Yes , my Taekwoonie. I am so so so happy to have him , close to me.

A dongsaeng that come from heaven. I really love you Woonie. You are the love of my life ; forever .

By the way…

Dear Kim Jaejoong ~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!!"  (insert all emoticons that Jaejoong loves to use XP)”

Changmin copied in his head on the first content appeared ; which looked so colorful yet covered with the old paper of the book. “Who is Taekwoonie?” mumble him. Deep inside him , a jealousy arose in his heart. He feels a slight pain when Taekwoon’s name is mentioned for thousand times in the diary...

‘the love of my life’  tch

Said him , not realizing how time flies as he stops his read on few pages.

“lets continue tomorrow” said him while securing the book safe in his bag.

Jaejoong clearing his table and arranging all his documents neatly at the edge of the table. He then leaning weakly to the chair ; messing up with his keypad on the phone. He opens his KAKAOTALK and start replying .

     “Whaddup with all these cheezy words pabo yah?”

Replied him while continuing arranging all his things. Another beep coming in and Jaejoong smiles as the other person replied ..

“I can’t be this cheezy with my own brother anymore? >_<”

“ Lets have dinner together hyung. I am coming back soon”

Jaejoong nods replying “yes” to his dongsaeng while thinning his lips, smiling weakly as he remember that Taekwoon is going to start his class soon. Which means...they are going to be parted away , AGAIN~

Jaejoong then close up the cafe and walk weakly towards their usual restaurant. He then plug in his earphone and breathing the night air slowly. He closes his eyes towards the music and humming to the lyrics. What Jaejoong not realized is , there is a person continually reading his pieces earnestly ...

8th February 2010

“The scars are still here. I see Taekwoon laying beside me , face full of tears. I saw him sleeping beside me soundly. How cute can he be? I bring my sound hand up, fighting with the blood that I can still feel flowing from the bandage on the other side of the hand; trying to caress his soft hair.

The night is still cold. I guess it is. From the breeze while I run away. How could dad do that? Omma , why … are you fighting this alone without telling me?

My eyes are now looking intensely at the lying body at the other bed. He sleeps soundly like nothing happened just now. I hope I will know his name soon. Thanks for helping us , handsome boy.

Oh I should say thanks to the nurse for lending me this pieces of papers. I just can’t go on without my diary. I wonder what will happened to mom … will there be anyone to handle her ...”

10th February 2010.

“ I heard the news. Well I saw the news actually. I am now hugging Woonie beside me. I am sure he is freaking out now. How can it not when everyone at the hospital keeps on looking at us whom are now surrounded by police and guards. I heard too that dad is safe at police station. Getting treated at other hospital. I have to show that I am okay even omma were killed IN FRONT of my eyes. If people say I am heartless. I cant say anything. I have to think of Wonnie as well. Its his mom who shows such side. What will a 10 years old boy understand? How will people understand what we went through together these few years?

The boy the other day left without any words. I asked the nurses , wait no...I begged them to tell me his name. Two days trying to persuade them that this is not me violating any rule. They did nothing wrong either. I am here to know his name , so that I can repay his kindness in the future.

Then , I froze as I heard his name …

Shim Changmin “

Changmin froze as he keeps on staring at the last name mentioned . “Am I seeing things now?”

said him convincing himself that it was not his name ; but it is his. “Unless there is another Changmin in this world but...duhh? no? I am the only Shim Changmin on the earth no?” debate him with his thought.

“But , how on Earth did Jaejoong say nothing about it? Why … Why I can’t remember a thing if this person mentioned is me?”