I stood in front of the door trying to calm myself from the inevitable meeting I am about to have with my former on-screen husband. Actually, it is entirely impossible to avoid him every time our groups attend the same event, and I have to admit that my eyes do wander where he is at, to which I always tell myself was out of curiosity and I still think so at this moment. I am usually a calculative person and I know when the appropriate time to panic and stress out is compared to when to calm down. Although I do tell myself it is time to calm down as I have already stressed enough about this for a lot of nights prior, I can't seem to get my equilibrium back. Yonghwa had this effect on me ever since the start. Maybe it was why I was terrified to try then. I kept telling myself it was not my fault but maybe it was. I always end things before they even start.

As I delve deeper into my thoughts, I heard laughter inside which brought me back from my reverie. How I miss that laugh. I made a short chuckle as I remember how he always made me laugh. There was never a dull day with him. There were times where I was mad but he always made up for it. I wonder if he is still that same Yonghwa I know. Wondering this, I found that I was a lot calmer than I was a few seconds ago. I took this advantage and opened the door slowly practicing in my head how I am going to greet them. Things seemed to move in slow motion as I anticipate what is behind the door. The first thing I saw was the keyboard moved to the corner for our rehearsal. It is that same room where Yonghwa brought me when we first met. A flash of us playing and singing in sync came to my head. As I open the door wider, I see that only Yonghwa is inside and he has his phone to his ear. He must be talking to someone on the phone. The door was wide enough to get in so I did, and that is when he noticed me.

We made eye contact and for some reason, it was enough to communicate what happened to the years we were apart. I stood there staring at his beautiful features. He seems to be gritting his teeth that show off his jaws. He swallows a lump in his throat which made me do it as well. He smiles at me, and oh how I miss his smile.

"Hi," he says shyly and I smiled at him.

"H-hi" I stuttered. He was about to say something but the person on the phone interrupts.

"Jungshin I am going to have to call you back," Yonghwa says and hangs up without severing our eye contact. Both of us seems to have something to say but couldn't put the words out. But this is enough for me. The fact that we are rehearsing for GDA is miracle enough. I just have to be thankful to be able to work with him in such a close proximity. Yonghwa didn't seem to age, aside from his more mature appearance, he still looks the same as he did a few years ago. I can't say he would say the same for me though. As I think this, he says, "you're still beautiful" with the same confidence as he did before. I laughed at his remark and I decided to break the eye contact.

"Thank you" I replied. I took my bag down and put it on the keyboard trying to hide my flushed cheeks. The keyboard seemed unused which made me wonder if anyone even still uses this room. I went and took the seat farthest to Yonghwa as I do not know how to act like we're friends when I know deep inside I wanted more. "How are you?" I ask to start a conversation.

"I'm all better now that you're here, " Yonghwa says and he laughs as to remark it as a joke. I laughed as well to hide my disappointment. "How have you been? I heard you're having a solo soon. You must be really busy now." Yonghwa says with a bit of bitterness in his tone of voice, but only slightly so I dismissed it.

"I am actually, but you know me. I always try to find ways to take care of myself even on busiest situations so I am doing well in general" I reply and he just nods as he agrees with me but the bitterness in his actions is very noticeable that I am getting angry for some reason.

"You must have reached everything you hoped for then? What is your next priority this time? Get through the solo? Last time I heard you're priority was your studies." At this poin, I knew why he is acting this way. It goes from way back 2011.

2011

"Why won't you just give us a try?"

"I'm sorry I just have a lot on my plate right now. My priority, for now, is just to graduate. Love isn't even an option right now. I really am sorry"

My heart tingled in pain as I relive that moment. "You have no right to act this way. I clearly told you before not to wait for me." I say. It wasn't what I wanted to say but it was what came out of my mouth.

"Did I say something about waiting for you? From the start, you started giving me hints that we were never going to last even though we haven't tried yet. I am the kind of guy who knows when to stop. You decided what you wanted for your future and I also did for mine. I tried to stay the hell out of your way." Yonghwa says and I can tell this is not going to end well.

"Hello!" Suddenly, we heard someone by the door and it was Chiyeol. Great timing. We needed a time out before one of us says something we regret. I stood up and bowed to him while saying hi back. He comes closer to Yonghwa and they bow to each other. Both of us are trying to act normal but we know Chiyeol feels the tension between us. He turns to me and gives me his best smile. "Cong