Here's why I don't like break ups. There's always the stage where you feel resentment. I hate him. I hate Kyungsoo. Spending 5 years with him and to see that he could move on to an older woman is painful. I lost the love of my life to an older woman. I can't control the resentment that I have towards him. He lost feelings because we haven't seen each other for a month, was our relationship that weak to break? It didn't make sense for me, but now I know the real reason to our break up. However, I can't move on. My love for him is too strong. 

     I covered my mouth as Seokmin dragged me out of the restaurants. These tears really don't know when to stop. Seokmin took me to a park near by. I sat down on a bench, wiping my tears away. "I'll get us some ice cream. Ice cream will make you feel better." he said as he left for the nearest convenience store. Sitting here at the park isn't helping. I can't stop thinking about Kyungsoo. Our first date was at the park. It was the first time when I got to taste his cooking. We ate kimbap, chicken, and drank coke. Am I really going to cry whenever I see those food too? I'm a huge mess. 

    As I'm crying, I felt a presence next to me. "Chanyeol?" I asked. He frowned, "Long time no see. Why are you crying?" I explained to him about the break up while crying. He pat my back, "Calm down." I took a few deep breaths as he keep on rubbing my back. "Do you remember what I told you five years ago? You will get hurt." he said quietly. "But what you know isn't everything. Keep on believing that you guys will continue." he continued. I gave him a confused look, "Why would I continue?" "You see, Kyungsoo and I are in a group called EXO. We're about to debut soon. He tells the group everything. I can't tell you any more stuff because that is saved for the future. But have some hope." he explained. 

     I shook my head, "No. I can't have any more hope. What if he hurts me again? Our break up is too sudden for me. It didn't make sense until I saw him with an older woman earlier." Chanyeol widen his eyes, "An older woman?" he asked. I nodded, "My heart hurts seeing him with--her." I suddenly started to cry again. Chanyeol puts his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. "Just give him some time. Trust me." he said. I spent a few minutes crying in his arms. "You know, I wanted to hold you like this when I poured that bucket of water on you?" he asked. I stopped crying and wiped my tears, "What?" I asked. He continued, "I didn't want to pour it on you but I was jealous of him. I knew that he would hurt you like this somehow. I just wanted to make a point. I was immature back then, but I loved you and I didn't know how to express it. I want to say I'm sorry." I can't believe that he stills remembers that, "It's okay, I forgot about it." 

     We didn't realize that I was still in his arms until Seokmin walked towards us. We broke off immediately. "Chanyeol? What are you doing here?" Seokmin asked. Chanyeol pretended to cough, "Oh, I was taking a walk here but then I saw Yerin crying." Seokmin looked at me with the "What on earth?" expression. I mouthed, "It's okay."  Seokmin handed me an ice cream bar. "Oh Chanyeol, have one. I bought extras." he said as he handed Chanyeol a bar. I received a text from my boss that I'm fired for not coming for a week enough I called in. I sighed. The boys looked at me and together they asked, "What's wrong?" I showed them the text and they got quiet. 

     Chanyeol finally broke the ice, "Well, EXO is in need of a makeup artist. We can hire you. The salary is alright, plus you should know everyone since we all went to the same high school together." Seokmin nodded along, "Yerin, you're gonna need money soon. This is a good opportunity. You're great at make up too." I thought about it, "But Kyungsoo?" Chanyeol sighed, "It's okay, he won't be a bother. Come on, this is a good opportunity!" I'm not ready to see Kyungsoo again. However, without a job I can't survive. I finally gave in, "Fine. I'll do it." Chanyeol clapped his hands. "Let me call our manager." he said as he took out his phone. 

***** 

    It's 3 weeks and I've prepared to meet EXO on my first day. "Hello, my name is Yerin. I'll be your makeup artist from now on. Please treat me well." I said as I introduced myself to the group. I knew everyone but we didn't talk much except Chanyeol and-- Kyungsoo. There's Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Xiumin, Kai, Baekhyun, Suho, Chen, Lay, and Sehun. I tried my best not to make eye contact with Kyungsoo. Xiumin clapped his hands, "Woaaah, Yerin you're still beautiful like always." I smiled, "Thank you." We heard a knock on the door. I turned around and saw the same woman at the door. "You must be Yerin. I'm Ok Shinhye, the CEO of this agency." she introduced myself. I couldn't help myself but to glare at her. I stopped and faked a smile, "Please treat me well." Miss Ok looked at Kyungsoo who was behind me. "Kyungsoo-ah, follow me into my office would you?" she asked as she left the room. He excused himself from the group and followed her. 

     It really hurts. I just want to grab his hand and beg him not to go. But what right do I have? We're over already. I turned around and faced the group. Chanyeol looked at me with a concerned face. "Are you okay?" he mouthed. I lightly nodded. Kai, a super familiar face, took my hand. "Hey, can we see your make up skills?" he asked. He took me to the make up chair and sat down. "Do my make up. I'm looking for a very bronze yet bold look. Like slight smokey eyes." 

     I took a look at the make up products that the agency provided for me. I grabbed the eye-shadow palette and chose shades of brown and bronze. I tried my best to blend the shadows together to give him slight smokey eyes. I wanted his jawline to look a bit sharper so I contoured his face. I also gave him defined eyebrows. It didn't take me long to get the finished look: 

     I turned the chair towards the mirror. "Ta-da!" I smiled. His jaws dropped, "Wow. You're really fast. AND GOOD." The other members nodded in agreement. Chanyeol gave me a thumbs up. I spent the day bonding with the group. I observed their faces most of the time for the future. We were heading out for dinner until Xiumin asked, "Where's Kyungsoo? Is he still with CEO Ok?" The members shrugged. Kai started to call Kyungsoo. Hearing him with her upsets me. I resent them more and more. It's best for me to be distant with them. I started to tear up. Chanyeol looked at Xiumin and shook his head. Xiumin finally got the clue and looked apologetic. "OH. I forgot. I heard what happened. I'm so sorry Yerin." I fanned my eyes and faked a smile. "It's okay. Where are we going to eat?" I asked to change the topic. 

     We dined at a very fancy place. The members took care of me as if I was their little sister. They made sure that I'm happy with the meal. Within 10 minutes of eating, Kyungsoo showed up. I suddenly lost my appetitte. He sat across from me. It was so hard not to look at him. Every then and now we would make eye contact but I would look down or look away. Chanyeol brought up the topic of high school, trying to bond with everyone. "Yerin, remember Hye Mi?" I nodded when the other members sighed. "What a problematic girl." said Sehun. "Remember that time she tried to savage your friendship with Kyungsoo? But he came out and confessed." Sehun asked, but then he covered his mouth because he knew that he shouldn't have said that. "Yeah, I still hate her." I pretended to laugh because I didn't want things to be awkward. Kai looked at Kyungsoo who was looking down. "You were really brave back then. Risking your fame for Yerin." he said as he lightly hit Kyungsoo's arm chuckling. Kyungsoo looked up and at me, "Because Yerin is worth risking for." 

     I felt uncomfortable as the members quietly looked at me. "Excuse me, I need some fresh air." I got up and walked out to the restaurant's garden. I found a seat next to a beautiful flower bed and sat down. I looked at the stars. I remember Kyungsoo saying, "Do you know what I did last night? I matched each star with a reason why I love you." I haven't looked at the stars for quite a while now. As I try to count, there were too many. I just hope that each star does contain a reason why he loves me. However, I know that I can't have high hopes because he doesn't love me anymore. 

     "Have you been well?" I heard a voice. Kyungsoo was standing behind me and was looking down at me. I immediately got up and walked away from him. Before I could leave he grabbed me from the behind and pulled me closer to him, back hugging me. "Kyungsoo let go." I said softly. He rested his head on my shoulders. "Can we please stay like this for a while?" he begged. I'm starting to tear up, "I really don't understand you, Kyungsoo. Let go." This only made him hugged my waist even tighter. "I know we broke up, but I lied to you. I haven't lost feelings. I still love you Yerin." he said. I felt a tear shed and I quickly wiped it. "Kyungsoo, I can't comprehend this. You said that you lost feelings, then I see you with CEO Ok following her around like her boy toy. You hurt me because of her and now you're coming back to me?" I burst into tears, "You have no idea how I was, do you? I lost weight because I starved myself for a week. I lost my job because I couldn't budge from my bed. I was a wreck. And you? You're probably off having the time of your life with her. I can't believe we ended our five years together because of another woman." I felt something wet on my shoulders. Kyungsoo's crying.

     "You thought that you were the only one who was suffering?" he sobbed. "I'm sorry but I have to be with her. You don't understand how hard it is for me. Please wait for me. I'll risk everything for you. Please Yerin, hang in there for me." he sobbed. I shook him off and was able to get out of his arms. "I don't want to risk getting hurt again. You're pitiful. No matter hard much you try, you can't change my mind. You've changed, the way you look and the way you talk. Unlike the old you, you're nothing but a liar to me." I said as I try to stop crying. Kyungsoo placed his hand on my face, wiping my tears away. I backed away from him, but he keeps on stepping forward. "Yerin, please listen to me." he begged. I looked into his eyes, but I couldn't say anything. I could only cry harder. His eyes, they were filled with tears as well. I know that he's feeling pain. He took another step towards me, pulling me into his chest. I cried in his arms, hitting his chest. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Why? Why Kyungsoo?" I kept on saying. He hugged me tighter, one hand hold my head, and the other holding my back. "You can hit me and hate me as much as you want. I deserve it." he cried as he continues to hold me. 

Sorry for not updating! California's heat is killing me. Even though I'm sick, I'm up at 4 AM writing anf  finishing this chapter for you guys!