Rain. Once again, it rained. Isn’t the sky tired of this reoccurring weather? Well, surely I am. The atmosphere turned the bright and cloudy sky into a pure dark grey mess, as if it’s any help to our situation right now. No, it actually made it worse. I’ve always liked the rain, but now it turned into hatred. Now, when my mind is in a mess, the sky decided to pour every bit of its frustration on us. As if I didn’t have much frustration to handle. It just always had to rain when I don’t want it to.

I wanted to hate her. It may be because of her that I’m in this difficult situation. If it wasn’t for that accident, I wouldn’t have to experience pain, or even have the simplest clue of being hurt. I would’ve just lived the way I did before - peaceful. But then I was lifeless. Maybe I am better off lifeless. Sometimes, I wish that Yoongi could’ve just died peacefully and left me out of this crazy situation. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have met the six idiots. I wouldn’t have met Eunhae. If there really was a reason why I’m here right now, why do I feel like I don’t belong here? Why do I continue to act like someone who isn’t me? Why do I continue to pretend and deceive? Please… I need answers. I’m starting to think that I should’ve really died on that rainy day. It just makes me so confused. It makes me feel things I don’t know and I don’t want to feel.

I wanted to hate her.
I don’t know if this is just my way to blame someone for my unwanted situation or just simply my hatred for my weakness.
Believe me, I really want to hate her.
If I could.
But I just couldn’t.
I don’t know why.

Now here comes my problem again – I don’t know.

My stare didn’t falter. I still looked at her straight in the eyes, Eunhae, on the other hand, stared back with guilt on her face. Rain continued to fall, while we were starting to get drenched.

Heaving a sigh, I chose to forget what happened for a while and grabbed her arm. “Come. The rain is falling. At this situation, aren’t we supposed to run and look for a shade?” well, at least that’s how all the humans I’ve encountered responded when the rain falls.

I looked around and saw a tree near the see-saw. I tried to pull her, but she didn’t budge at all. “Hey, the rain is falling harder. I really think we need to go to that tree over there.”

She shook her head and tilted it downward, not wanting to face me anymore. “Leave me. I’ll be fine.” She said, as if trying to say it in her normal voice. Too bad, she so badly at pretending.

“It’s my fault anyway.” She muttered to herself, as if a whisper.

I let go of her arm slowly, taking a last glance at the tree. I sighed once more, questioning my own mind, asking it if it’s working how it’s supposed to work. “I heard somewhere that you can get ‘sick’, or how you people call it, when you stay under the rain for too long. But thinking about the first time we met, the rain was heavier and you didn’t get sick. I guess… you’re pretty cool, huh?” I laughed dryly.

“I’m pretty cool under the rain too. It’s quite relaxing, actually. I guess I could stay here with you until the rain stops.” I sneaked a small smile.

“Yoongi-“ “Tell me one thing first. Are you the one driving that car?” I interrupted. The girl stopped and slowly shook her head.

“Okay, how about another one? Then.. did you purposely tell that driver to hit me in the head to die?” once again, she shook her head.

“It’s settled then. It’s not your fault. I don’t see any reason for you to feel guilty.” She looked at me, surprised. She stared at me with her circular wide eyes.

“But- that’s it? You’re not mad? I-If I didn’t tell the driver to go that way I- ” she stuttered in disbelief. Goodness, could you stop with the stuttering? But now that I know it wasn’t her fault, I can finally stop trying to hate her.

“Look, if you wanted to kill me, you would’ve let me die that night. You wouldn’t have saved me from almost getting hit by a car.” That reminds me, why did I even doubt the person who saved my life? No bad person would’ve done that. And once again, Ladies and gentlemen, my stupidity had impressed me.

“But-“ “No ‘buts’. You said you didn’t try to kill me, then it means you didn’t try to kill me. Screw those dumb articles. 

I only believe the person who I owe my life to.” I smiled, sincerely. “ I never got to tell you this but

Thanks for saving my life, Eunhae.”

Even with the heavy rain, I know that beneath those raindrops, lies her tears. Until now, I still find this girl mysterious. But one thing’s for sure is that I trust her, whatever my reason was – whatever Yoongi’s reason was. I still don’t know. I believe that Yoongi has a deep bond with this girl, that’s why until now, his feelings still lingers. Just what kind of relationship did these two had?

Living isn’t as bad as I thought.
Maybe now’s not the right time to get answers

I think that slowly,
bit by bit,
I’m starting to feel a sense of belongingness here too.

But it does not change the fact that I’m Suga – a spirit.
I never belonged here in the first place.

With a smile from each other, that day ended as it is.

++++++

“Hey, have you heard? An artist signed a contract with Big Hit!” All five heads turned towards Namjoon. As the guy who never wins over his curiosity, I also turned my head.

“Really? Is the artist popular?” Jin asked, munching his homemade cookie.

“I heard that the artist is really big right now!” cheers were heard in the car, while an annoyed Choreographer continued driving after scolding the boys to keep it down.

“I-Is it G-Dragon sunbaenim!”

“No! It must be Hyuna! We need hotties!”

“Whoever it may be, I’m excited!” Jimin beamed, while quietly chanting all his favorite artists.

“And you know what, boys, That new artist will come and visit the company today.” More cheers were heard.

“Too bad we have to practice the whole day! Isn’t that fun? Should also I print out a cardboard cutout of her for you guys?” he sang while happily whistling. Defeated, the guys groaned. I looked to my side and saw Jimin sobbing.

Kid, you’ll be able to see her some other time. No need to cry. It’s not like she’ll run away from you.

But knowing that it’s Jimin, it is possible.

“Forget about that artist. Yoongi hyung will be able to practice with us again!” the cheers came again. “I guess it’s time for me to throw that Yoongi dummy I made.” Everyone stopped and looked at Taehyung. “You made a dummy of Yoongi hyung?..”

“What? I can’t concentrate if we’re only six. Besides, Yoongey and I have become friends..” Taehyung, you’re free to join Jimin over there.

“Guys, Yoongi can’t practice yet. The doctor said he should be given another week. But hey, he’s getting there soon.”  Now, all the boys looked as done as ever.

“Great, we’re stuck with the Monster for the whole day again.”

“Namjoon, do you want to face Mr. wall again?”

“What I meant was-“ Choreo hyung glared at Namjoon, scaring the life out of the kid.

“Sorry, Sir.”

++++++

“Now, where is the CEO’s office?” I muttered to myself quietly while going in circles endlessly. The company is actually quite big. The halls were really long and trainees were everywhere. Since everyone will be busy practicing, choreo hyung assigned me to stay and talk with the artist. The boys even begged me to take them with me. Even Jungkook tried to fit himself in my backpack, saying he could fit if he curled into a ball. And that was Jungkook. The kid I thought who w