“Suga?”

My world stopped as my name was heard from the woman’s mouth. My jaw dropped as another foreign feeling was felt in my gut. Just what the heck is it?

I felt scared, knowing that she might know the truth about me. But at the same time, I kind of felt somewhat light on the inside, enough to bring me to tears, knowing that someone might have acknowledged my presence, which had never happened before.

No one knew that Suga existed.
But then again, why would they?
I’m just no one.
But after hearing my name being called, I felt that I may have been a someone, even just for a few seconds. Not as a spirit, nor Min Yoongi. As Suga – as myself.

“Y-You’re Suga right?” I stared at the woman’s teary eyes with my own teary ones. Her voice shook and so did my hands – trembling like a small leaf. Warmness engulfed my heart as I tried to reach out to her, though my hands were still shuddering.

“I-I-“

Suddenly, an empty chuckle was heard from Yoongi’s father, failing to make me finish my sentence. Not like I could actually finish my sentence anyway. I was practically paralyzed at that moment.

“Your mom sure is a joker huh? It’s time for her bedtime anyway.” He then called for the nurse that was in charge of Yoongi’s mother and quickly guided her towards the bedroom. It was quite obvious that she wants to talk to me more. She was reaching out her hand but she was way too drowsy to object. Instead, she just smiled and never once looked away from me until she entered the bedroom.

I wanted to talk to her more. I want to know more. Is it true that she knows me? Or was that only a coincidence? No, this is too much for just a simple coincidence. She must know something about me. I clenched my fists and looked at the man, ready to convince him so that I could talk to the woman more. But the moment I saw his eyes, I knew that he was affected by what she said also. The way his eyes completely lost all the spark he had when he saw me was somewhat melancholic. It was completely dull and lifeless. It was as if he felt despair. I’m sure that he knows something about that as well.

“Can I ask you-“

“I know that you’re curious about.. whatever happened. You’re also probably curious on who we are and basically everything.”

“How did you know?”

“Well, your president contacted us and told us about you losing your memories. I’ve told your mom about it too but… I doubt she even remembers.” He sighed deeply. What does he mean by that? I’m just getting more and more curious. Just what is happening here?

“Before I could tell you everything, why don’t we take a sit first.” I nodded and sat at the huge sofa just behind us. Suddenly, my palms started sweating, thanks to my anxiety. Wait, when did all this become this serious? I swallowed nothingness as my anticipation heightens up.

“As you have probably noticed, I- well, I’m your father and that woman you just saw was your mother. I know that you’re most curious about her condition-“ Actually, I’m more curious about what she said. But sure, I’m curious about that too. “Actually, she has a special case of dementia.”

“Dementia?”

“Yes. Let’s just say that it’s a mental illness. Something triggered it. And that something is that incident. Ever since that incident, your mother couldn’t remember anything after that point. She would constantly look for him. His death caused her to go insane. Every single day, she’d call him, hoping she'll get an answer. It pained me to see her like that. It hurt me even more whenever she’d ask me where he is. It even reached to the point when you, too, changed. When you… left, her condition worsened. She became more delusional. She was blinded by her own delusions. Seeing her breaking everyday was hell for me, Yoongi. And everyday I’d be reminded by his death. If only I had known about the storm sooner, I-“

“Wait, what are you talking about? Who is this person you’re talking about? Who … changed me?” I clenched my fists, dead curious about ‘him’. I think I remember Eunhae telling me that Yoongi did change after one incident. It’s possible that they’re talking about the same incident – no, I’m a hundred percent sure that they’re pertaining to the same event. But what was it? And who was involved? I hate to admit it, but I had a feeling on who it is. I just didn’t want to think of it as a possibility.

The old man stayed silent, avoiding any eye contact. He was wearing a pained expression. I guess it was hard for him to talk about it, but I just really need to know. I can’t let him leave me hanging here. “Tell me! Please, I’m begging.”

He closed his eyes, while a small tear escaped his eye. He buried his hand in his pocket, digging something in it. He quickly took out of what seems to be a photo. In that photo, was a picture of a family. I could see a man that looks like Yoongi but a bit older – wait, no. That’s Yoongi’s father. Next to him was a very beautiful woman. That woman was no other than his mother. In the picture, a younger version of Yoongi can be seen. He weirdly wore an unusual very bright grin. Next to him was – wait, Yoongi? What? Next to Yoongi… was a boy who looks exactly like him. He didn’t even have to say who it was. I completely knew who it was, inside me.

“It’s your brother, Suga. Min Suga.”

My mind completely went blank. I wanted to scream in shock, but then again, I wasn’t as shocked, weirdly. Also, it’s not like I had the voice to. I was completely rendered speechless, as if my soul had left somewhere. All I could do at that moment was let my tears flow. All this time, I had parents, I had friends, I had a brother-. Wait, Yoongi is my brother. But I-

Suddenly, my head started hurting again, this time much worse. I tried to scream but no sound came out. I feel like I was being choked up. I curled down the floor, clenching my teeth together. I let out painful sounds as I closed my eyes, hoping it’d ease the pain. There was no way that it had worked. It still hurts like hell. Tears continued to pour, as I recalled the last scene when Yoongi smiled at me. He.. knew, all along. While I – I, no, I refuse to believe all this. I refuse to believe it all, but all the memories that came rushing to me proves me wrong. Thus, I continue to lie to myself – rejecting reality.

No.
‘Let’s play, Suga!’

No way..
‘What do you want, Suga? Hyung will get it for you!’

I-Impossible..
‘Try smiling a bit, Suga!’

Stop!
‘I’m your hyung, remember? You can tell me anything.’

Why did I have to go and remember everything?

‘G