I’m Suga. That’s it. Other than being named as Suga, I know nothing about myself. I’m weird, right? But one thing’s for sure is that I’m nowhere human. Heck, no one could even see me. I’m like a shadow lurking around these humans. I don’t even know when and how it started. The only thing I could remember is that I’ve been wandering around this city for years. Maybe 10 years, 20 years, Heck, I could even be a hundred year old geezer and I wouldn’t have known it. Looks like I’m a lot dumber than I thought. It’s not like it’s my fault though.

Drip, Drip, the rain continued to fall. It’s really cold. I don’t know if the rain caused the coldness or is it just me? No, seriously. For a wandering spirit, I’m quite cold. I’d actually be surprised if I was not. This is just a proof of me being lifeless. More lifeless than the chair that lady is seating on. Not like I want to be a chair though.

I continued walking around Seoul, as if it was the most normal thing for spirits to do. Well, it is. For me, at least. As if I had other things to do anyway. I quietly approached the nearby place that humans gather in. What was it called again? I think they called it a ‘restaurant’? right! That’s where they eat and do other human stuff that I can never understand. I may have been wandering everyday in this city for years but there are still a lot of stuff I don’t get, like why humans act differently, why do water come out of their eyes at times, and most especially…

“I love you, Miyoung. Will you marry me?” the nicely dressed guy knelt down the lady that has a bit of water blocking her eyes. Seriously, wouldn’t that irritate her eyes? It looks really itchy for me. But since there’s water, she probably feels ‘sad’, as how people call it. I passed through the window to hear what the two humans are talking about. Soon, people started to notice the knelt man and the lady. Weirdly, they have smiles on their faces and a few cheers were heard. Why? Are they bullying the girl? Why are they so glad that she’s sad? The more that I think about it, the more confused I get.

“I love you too, Seojun. Yes, I’ll marry you” The girl cried while the man quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around the girl. Cheers and applauds were heard throughout the whole restaurant.  What!? I seriously don’t get it. I’m sure that the water is still flowing out of her eyes, but why is she smiling? Is she really sad? Or not? I can’t decide. I sighed heavily. Why are humans so complicated?

Slowly waking away from the group of humans, I continued my walk throughout the city. The rain continued to pour down heavily. Soon, all the humans ran towards a shaded area and I’m left all alone on the streets. It kinda feels empty now. Not that I mind though. Walking in silence, I felt peace. Just watching the rain fall really calms me down. It was really peaceful but then it was disrupted by a pair of footsteps. Glancing at my back, I saw a guy, drenched with water, walking alone. His footsteps grew louder, as he got closer. On his left hand, a bouquet was carefully held. I temporarily stopped on my tracks and just looked at the guy. He was wearing a hood so I couldn’t clearly see his eyes. This human is really mysterious. I can’t read what he’s thinking. Soon, I was walking beside him. I don’t really understand why, but I have the urge to follow him. There’s something that’s making me curious about him. Is he ‘sad’? or is he the opposite of it. I think people called it ‘happy’? But seeing that he doesn’t have a smile, I’m guessing it’s not the latter.

Moving to the other side, I continued to stare at him. He doesn’t exactly have sharp face features but he does have a really calm pair of eyes. As if his mind is either very blank or he’s thinking about something very deep. I also noticed that he has strings attached to his ears. I heard that it’s really popular among humans.  The guy glanced on his watch and sighed heavily. Hmn … is he late for something or no? He bit his lower lip as his brows crossed together. I guess he is late. I’m not as dumb as I thought. We then continued walking in silence. It was actually comforting walking with someone together. Well, It’s not like he could see me so I guess he won’t mind. Still, it’s so quiet. All I could hear are raindrops and the quiet sound of passing cars. It’s so quiet that I could even hear his breath. Glancing at him once again, he looked more worried. I wonder what’s wrong. He took a look again at his watch and clicked his tongue. He started running, while the leaves of the bouquet flapped with the wind. Not knowing what to do, I ran after him. Just where is he running to? Soon, the distance between us grew. Wow, I didn’t know he was a runner of some sort. 

Without me noticing it, a car sped past through me. At the same time, the guy then ran towards the other side of the road. Shocked, I ran as fast as I could. Too bad, I didn’t make it. A loud crash was heard and was followed by a scream of a lady on the sidelines. I continued to stare at the bloody and lifeless body. The rain continued to pour, not taking any pity on the young man. Soon, a crowd gathered around the dead body. The place was filled with horror as they huddled around the dead lad. Taking slow steps towards him, I was not able to process what just happened. There are too much questions in my head, understandably because this is the first time I had witnessed something like that. Finally closing our distance, I knelt down to take a closer look at his injuries. It looked really bad. I don’t think any human can bare such injuries. At that moment, a well-built man dressed in white rushed towards his side and did some stuff to his body. With a disappointed face, he announced that the guy is confirmed dead. Murmurs and mumbles was heard from the crowd. Is this the time where a human passes away and disappears? I guess everything has to come to an end sooner or later. Wait, does that mean he becomes like me? If he does, I wouldn’t know if I’ll be glad or I’ll just pity the poor guy because to be honest, my life isn’t all happy and rainbows at all. It’s just dull and boring.

Thanks to my curiosity, I moved closer to the corpse, trying to touch the huge cut on his head. Grazing my fingers on top of his head, I suddenly stopped. Wait, something is definitely not right. There’s a weird sensation running throughout my entire being. I stole my glance away from the man and stared at the crowd. That’s really weird. This is not right at all. Everything stopped and all was quiet. The raindrops stood still in mid air as the mysterious silence surrounded us. Soon, everything faded to black. I looked at everywhere but all I could see is black and the mysterious man. The man was still holding his bouquet of white lilies. I was really confused. The guy was just drenched with his own blood a while ago and now it’s like we’re in a different dimension. Are humans really capable of this? I sighed. There’s so much I don’t know about this race.

There was only silence between us.  With a smile he looked at me as if he had known me for years. Just what exactly is going on here? Before I could even say a word to him, everything turned white. The mysterious guy vanished into thin air. Before I knew it, time had continued to move. Within a second, I opened my eyes a bit. My vision was very blurry. I could hardly see anything.