This was one of the days when the reflection HongBin saw in the mirror didn’t please him a single bit. Everything seemed out of place, out of proportion and plain wrong to his eyes. Even a long, hot shower didn’t manage to wash away the thoughts he had since the moment he opened his eyes in the morning. This was one of the bad days.

He looked at his bare torso in the mirror, his lower half loosely covered by a towel. The comments must have been right - the lines of his abs not as defined as they should be, his arms floppy, collarbones slowly disappearing. The chubby cheeks that had swallowed his jawline that so many had pointed out in his recent pictures only proved the sad reality. He was not suitable to be called visual as he couldn’t manage even his weight.

He let out a sigh running his hand over his stomach and sides, clearly seeing where he needed more work. The young brunet was even afraid to flex his arms, well knowing that nothing pleasing would be revealed to his eyes. He squished his cheeks, frowning at the amount of flesh he could grab between his fingers.

The closer he leaned to the mirror, the more he saw how bad his skin had become, his hair looking like straw on his head despite being dripping wet. His out of proportion eyes staring back at him mockingly. Smiling was out of question even to check, as his huge mouth would ruin the reflection even more.

“Ugly bastard,” he uttered under his breath, gripping on the edges of te sink. “Ugly useless bastard,” he repeated half hissing at his own reflection, tears swelling in his eyes. “You can’t do a thing right, now can you?” He uttered, disgust evident in his voice. “One thing. You had to keep on thing in tact and you messed even that up,” HongBin bit on his lower lip, “a ing useless, below average loser,” he squeezed his eyes shut, his grip on the sink making his knuckles to turn white.

The door opened quietly on his left and he quickly tried to wipe away the tears that managed to start flowing. “I’ll be right out,” he said and the door closed, yet the one who had opened it stayed inside. The lock on the door turned quietly and HongBin finally looked at the man who had come in, turning away immediately. This was the one person in front of whom he wanted to be perfect, to whom he wanted to be flawless, yet he was failing miserably.

“Bin-ah, what’s wrong?” TaekWoon spoke softly and walked over to the man next to the sink. The latter stubbornly turned away, trying to calm himself down and figure out how to hide his shameful form the man he loved and adored.

“Nothing,” he pushed past his lips and tried to maneuver past the older one to get out of the small space they were in, but was caught by his forearm in the process. He couldn’t escape.

“I can clearly see that something is wrong. Tell me, Bin-ah,” TaekWoon gently pulled the younger one closer, who still didn’t look at him. It had happened before - insecurities TaekWoon did his best to shoo away from the younger one attacked him all at once. He couldn’t help until HongBin admitted what he was bothered by.

“Tell me,” TaekWoon repeats and HongBin finally turns to him, his eyes watery.

“I’m disgusting. That’s what’s wrong,” he spits out. “I have one job - to manage my body - and I fail even at that and turn into this… ugly blob as we speak and you… you have to look at this,” he rants out quickly. His body begins to tremble slightly and TaekWoon let’s go of his wrist to cup his face in his large hands.

“What are you even talking about? Where did you get this idea from?” He asks, locking his eyes with younger who is on a verge of breakdown. TaekWoon’s heart is silently breaking at the sight and he prays to himself to endure and remain strong for the both of them.

“I read the comments online and…” HongBin begins, yet TaekWoon cuts him short.

“Don’t! Don’t take seriously what they are writing. You’re beautiful, beyond that even, and whatever they are saying is a blatant lie,” TaekWoon raises his voice, startling the younger and tries to calm down in order to be there, to be sane for the most precious person in his life.

“Bin-ah, who do you trust more - them or me?” TaekWoon asks calmly, smoothing the wet bangs away from the younger one’s face and moves a tad closer, the distance between minimal now.

“You,” HongBin whispers quietly, his still watery eyes locked with TaekWoon’s. His hands naturally grab onto the older one’s shirt, fiddling with the fabric.

“And whose opinion matters more? Mine or theirs?” The taller runs his thumb over HongBin’s cheeks and over his lower lip, letting his other fingers to rest on the younger one’s jawline.

“Yours,” HongBin admits and TaekWoon smiles softly, gently, just barely pressing his lips against HongBin’s. The latter is obviously much calmer, less distressed and more sane thinking than before, which is good.

“Then listen carefully. To me, you are the most beautiful person on this earth. You,” he looks directly in the younger one’s eyes, “are perfect the way you are. No matter what they say, no matter what happens, to me, you are all I could ever dream off and more,” he speaks with confidence, hoping his words will get through the cloud of insecurity.

“Even if I get fat?” HongBin whispers, his eyes like the ones of a scared puppy - endearing yet saddening to no end. TaekWoon simply nods and places a kiss on the tip of HongBin’s nose, on both of his cheeks and then on his lips. It’s a slow, not rushed and timid kiss - reassuring of TaekWoon’s words, love conveying and nothing more.

“I love you, Bin-ah. For the beautiful person you are inside and out and it will never change,” TaekWoon convinces again, not telling a single lie and HongBin nods, letting hismelf to be pulled in the secure embrace of the older. It’s an oath, a promise HongBin doesn’t know about, but to TaekWoon it’s a mission to love the younger no matter what, to protect him and encourage him, despite what anyone says and he was determined to not fail his mission, proving to the younger night after night how much he adored him, if needed.

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A bit of a heavier drabble from me. It has a very important message tho: never take your favorites confidence as something self explanatory. They might fight off insecurities we can’t even imagine and are just good at masking them. Also, remember that each word can bring pain without you even realising it, so, please, be careful with what you say as words are more powerful than swords.