My heart already knew

This feeling of loneliness that’s about to explode

I try to hide it but I can’t hide it

You’ve become my heart

   The shopping mall was exceptionally crowded despite that fact that it was a Thursday night. Hyorin had to weave through the crowds while pushing the baby stroller. Seojoon was not helping either; he threw a tantrum and wailed ever since they entered the shopping mall causing other shoppers to flash disapproving and annoyed looks at them. Hyorin had to constantly apologize to those who passed by.

  Thankfully, Hyorin spotted an empty seat away from the crowd and rushed towards that seat before anyone could steal that seat. She picked Seojoon up and carried him aloft on her shoulders who was still flailing and screaming.

   “Are you hungry, Seojoon? Is that why you threw a tantrum?” Hyorin whispered in his ears. Seojoon kept on wailing.

   “Mummy will feed you milk, alright?” Hyorin rummaged through Seojoon’s bag to find the bottle of milk she had prepared earlier. Then, she immediately fed Seojoon. Like a miracle, Seojoon fell silent when he drank the bottle of milk.

   “So you were hungry? Aigooo,” Hyorin covered him with kisses and watched him enjoy his milk. After a few minutes, Seojoon pushed the empty bottle away. Hyorin kept the bottle in the bag and adjusted Seojoon’s position so Seojoon would be able to sit and face the front.

   “Let’s wait for Uncle Shownu. He’s busy so he could not come here early. Your Uncle Shownu insists on having dinner with us even if he’s tired after a long day at work,” Hyorin Seojoon’s little hair.

   Seojoon his thumb while Hyorin continued, “I feel really indebted towards him. Maybe we should stop meeting him, Seojoon-ah? Would it be better that way?”

   At that point, someone caught Hyorin’s eye. The tall and lean man was on his way out of the washroom. Without hesitation, Hyorin stood up with Seojoon in hand and neared the man who looked familiar to her.

   Hyorin’s eyes were fixed on him, “Joo… Jooyoung oppa?”

   Jooyoung furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Who is she?

   Hyorin tried again, “Jooyoung oppa? Is that you?”

   “Who are you?” Jooyoung eyed her weirdly.

   His question was so out of character, so far from what she knew of him, she just stared at him open-mouthed. Her heart sank.

   “Excuse me?” Jooyoung tilted his head.

   “Oppa, you can’t recognize me?” Hyorin choked.

   Jooyoung nonchalantly shook his head, “I don’t know you. And, if you don’t mind, can you… Move aside because I’m in a rush.”

   Hyorin grabbed Jooyoung’s wrist, “Jooyoung oppa, it’s me, Hyorin. You can’t remember me?”

   “I’m sorry but you’ve  got the wrong person. I don’t know any Jooyoung oppa or whatever his name is and I’m not him. Look, I’m in a rush so, do you mind?” Jooyoung gestured to his wrist and looked slightly annoyed. At that time, Seojoon started to cry.

   A look of disappointment crossed Hyorin’s face, “I know that you are him. You looked exactly like him.”

   Jooyoung yanked his hand away from Hyorin’s grasp and raised his voice, “You are freaking me out. I don’t know who you are and I’m not the person you are looking for. So just leave me alone.”

   “Jooyoung oppa…” Hyorin choked on her words as tears welled up in her eyes. Jooyoung flashed an indignant glance at her and Seojoon before storming off. Hyorin could only manage to watch Jooyoung disappeared into the crowd of shoppers.

   Her heart was torn apart and it felt like as if someone hurled her already-fragile heart at a wall and it shattered into pieces.

   “Hyorin!” Shownu called out from a distance when he spotted her standing outside the washroom. When he neared her, he was shocked the moment he saw her dissolved in tears. He immediately rushed over and gently carried Seojoon away from the emotionally unstable Hyorin.

   “Hyorin? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Shownu asked, full of concern.

   Hyorin clung on to her left side of her shirt and she was in inconsolable sobbing. Seojoon who realized that his mother was in tears, wailed along. Shownu had to console him by patting him gently. “Hyorin, tell me what’s wrong?” Shownu asked again.

   Hyorin shifted her gaze at Shownu as tears rolled down her cheeks, “Shownu…”

   “Come here,” Shownu pulled Hyorin into his arms, hoping that Hyorin would be comforted in his embrace. Passers-by were staring at them as if they were watching a scene out of a drama.

   “I’ve lost him, Shownu. He’s really gone,” Hyorin muttered in between sobs.