Jae’s POV

     “I’m glad you made the right choice” Mrs. Oh says as she takes the contract from my hand “Everything will be mailed to you soon”.  

    “He will be fine, right?” I ask even though I’m just reassuring myself.

     “You don’t need to worry. He will be just fine” she replies as she look back down at her paperworks.

     I exit the building just as the rain starts to pour. It is almost as if the sky “cries” when I’m feeling sad. I feel numb as my feet carried me toward the busy street despite the heavy rain.

When I’m finally in a taxi, did my brain process what just happened. Leaving the country, my old life, and my love; everything rushed back so fast that I have trouble breathing. Suddenly I start to regret everything, why did I sign that contract, why? Without my permission, tears start to fall as I muffle my sobbing leaning against the cold damp window.

“Are you okay miss?” the taxi driver asks with concern.

“I’m fine” I answer weakly.

I’m not. I need someone. I need him. I’m so tired of crying, I’m so tired of being weak. I’m so tired of pretending-- pretending to be okay, pretending to be happy, pretending to be strong. I’m so tired of everything.

As I watch the neighborhood become more familiar, I wipe away my tears using my hand even though I know it will smudge my makeup. After paying and getting off the taxi, I stand in front of my building not wanting to go in. Despite the heavy rain, I don’t want to go home. Home is lonely, dark, quiet, and scary. I wish I could turn back time to when I was a child, when monsters under the bed is the only fear you have. The only person I want is not at home, no matter how much I wish for it.

I sit by the stairs soaking from top to bottom knowing I’ll probably catch a cold tomorrow. No matter how much time I wipe my tears, they just keep flowing mixing with the raindrop. I hold my head as I look down to my feet trying to stop crying. I watch as raindrops slide down my heels ruining the gift he gave to me on my birthday. Taking them off and cradle them in my arm like a baby begging them to b