"What do you fear the most?" 

"That he doesn't reciprocate my love" Sumin looked down. 

"Sooo... you love him, huh?" Sumin bit her lip and looked on the forest floor, where the flashlight shone. She took a deep breath and nodded.  

"Yes.." 

"I knew it. The way you look at him, reminds me of me and my fiancée. " 

"Are you engaged??" 

"Yea, with a foreigner from my last assignment. He has applied for student visa in Korea and hopefully he'll come next year". 

"I bet you miss him." Sumin smiled sincerely and Amber chuckled. 

"Haha, yeah. As an amputated leg" 

"How did you know, you were in love?" She asked curiously due to her experience. 

"I couldn't imagine a life without him. At least not without pain." That sounded well-known. 

"How did you know, he loved you back?" 

"He told me.. I mean, he also showed me but I perceive things literally. I couldn't interpret the signs before he said it out loud." 

"What was the first sign, you didn't recognize?" 

"The way he put my needs first". 

That was definitely something Yongguk had done. Her experience with him this afternoon, had been the most intense emotional moment in her life.

The way he caressed her had been so perfect, so generous. Maybe she was unexperienced, but even she knew, the way he put her needs first, wasn't normal. 

"What else?" She asked 

"Even though I was highly educated not to mention a tough solider, he  was always very protective. He took care of me". 

"Such as making sure that you wouldn't go alone into the forest at night?" And it wasn't the only example of Yongguk being protective. Far from. He really cared about her personal safety, always admonished her against going out the woods alone or walk in places she shouldn't be. 

Amber smiled, "Yea!" 

"Hmm.." 

"And then there's ". Again Sumin was surprised by her directness. 

"Uhm, yeah, there is."  

"Was it good?" 

"We didn't have ." She said a little bit louder than intended.  

"But something happened?" 

"Yes" 

"And?" 

"It was indescribable."  

"Good. ual compatibility is essential for a good relationship." Amber looked satisfied.  

"I think that we are too compatible" Sumin had behaved uncharacteristically. The depth of her feelings had frightened her as much as the thought of being in love with Yongguk. 

"Trust me, you can't fit too well! You're a lucky woman, whose fireworks are tame compared to what he makes you feel." 

"But how do I know if he feels the same?" Sumin focused on Amber. 

"Did he lose control?" She thought of the fact that Yongguk had touched her in a half public place, something she was convinced that he didn't do normally.

She nodded. 

"To some extent."

"But did he have enough control, to give you what you needed?" 

"A little more than that.." Sumin was relieved about the darkness they were surrounded by, all because of her burning cheeks. 

"Do you think, it means that he loves me?" 

"It can be yes. You sound like you don't believe it yourself?" 

"True.." The concession made her sad. 

"Wae?"  

"I'm.. I'm not used to be assessed in relation to my family. The thought of him loving me for who I am. Only Baek Sumin. Not some rich and spoiled girl from a wealthy and well-known family. It's so far from my normal reference strain." When Sumin was done talking, Amber wrinkled her brows.  

"Soo..  you're from a very rich family or what?" 

"Yes.." Sumin felt embarrassed. 

"You hide it well, then" 

"Thank you!" 

Amber laughed. "I guess you do your best!" 

"Absolutely!" Amber didn't know how hard it was. Escaping from bodyguards was nothing compared to keeping them in the background, so no one knew they followed her everywhere. 

Deep in thoughts, Sumin led Amber back to the cabin. What would happen if she told him she loved him? Was it something she should do? Or wait for his statement? If just she had listened more to the girls in high school, talking about boyfriends and stuff , then she would at least have a starting point.

What if Yongguk really loved her? Then what about the future? She knew her parents wanted to choose her future husband. She had to be lucky, if she wanted to meet her future husband before an announcement of the engagement her parents wanted her to have. So what would her parents do, if they found out that she had chosen her future husband herself? Oh god. It didn't mean they had a future together, just because he liked to kiss and caress her. That was something she knew from high school. ual attraction isn't equal to love. It was much easier to say than make one's heart accepting it. Just the fact that they hang out, would make her parents explode. No matter what.  But considering the deep feeling she had for him, she didn't know how long she could keep it a secret.

Why was life so complicated? She was who she was, but instead of making her life better, her status made it impossible for her  to achieve her goals in life.

It wasn't fair, but she learned long time ago, that life was far from easy.  

In the next days, Yongguk showed, that he understood her state of mind and her feelings as well. He had treated her with safe distance, which help her tackle the confusion and the anxiety of being caught in the act. Sumin was uncomfortable with her burning uality.The memory, of how she had reacted to his caress, was only soothed by the praise he had given her. The fact that only Yongguk's fast acts had prevented Chanyeol from seeing her half , filled her with shame.  

Her mother would be furious if she knew. Even her tolerant aunt would be disappointed by her lack of control.  She had told Amber about it, the woman who had become a good friend in a short matter of time. Amber had told Sumin, how suppressed she thought she was. Sumin agreed, but she didn't know how to change that. Amidst all the confusion feelings one thing became clear for Sumin: She could only control her feelings, by keeping herself away from Yongguk. And she didn't want to. She decided to ignore the rush of guilt and shame that wouldn't let her, contrary to her lifelong upbringing. A part of her wanted Yongguk to seek more physical activity, but he had made sure not to push her ually. And that was something she admired. She really did. It would just be easier, if he took the first step. Sumin just had the feeling, that he waited for her to decide what she wanted, before telling him. But she didn't feel rejected despite the distance he had maintained since the incident. Rather, he spent more time with her and looked after her, even though he kept his physical distance. Sumin had always praised herself for not being a coward. Yongguk and her feelings were worth taking a risk for. She had to take the first step, no matter how difficult it was, she wouldn't  be reluctant. 

___________________________________∞______________________________________ 

The river rushed towards her and evolved from distant ties to a roiling surface, as details of her last meeting with Bang Yongguk came in mind. 

___________________________________∞______________________________________ 

Sumin had arranged a meeting with Yongguk in Amber's apartment. She really wanted to use her own, but she lived with a roommate her aunt had chosen and she wouldn't take any risks. She wasn't ready to tell her family about Yongguk or reveal what kind of intimacy, she hoped to achieve on this "date".

Her security guards had to check Amber's background, before she got permission to sleep over at her place. Fortunately it succeeded. She was shocked that they agreed to let her leave her apartment without any guards what so ever, but she was grateful. Amber who was a true friend had plans for the whole night. She could follow her decision to take the next step in the relationship with Yongguk. She had spent a lot of time, figuring out what to wear and what to eat etc. Frustrated, she had thrown the clothes away in her closet and asked Amber to go shopping with her. Since she knew little about her background, they could shop while the guards watched them from distance. She had never shopped with a friend before, and Sumin soon found out that the ex-soldier wasn't immune to fashion. They spent hours finding the perfect outfit, makeup and accessories. It was y and cute at the same time. Even though her outfit was comfortable it still felt  uncomfortable due to the nervousness of the outcome of the date.

Sumin's outfit

(A/N): Sorry, this was a kind of a "filling" chapter..  

- Are you excited for the date in the next chapter? How do you think the date will turn out?

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