Sunwoo helped him with his seatbelt and Junghwan beamed cheerfully at him. It was so sudden he can’t contain himself. It’s his first time going on a date. A night out isn’t a date, a family gathering with Sunwoo isn’t valid to be called a date, and certainly Sunwoo sending him home every night isn’t a date.

Junghwan sat properly as Sunwoo checked him one last time if he’s comfortable before he started the engine.

“Where are we going?” Junghwan asked and Sunwoo turned carefully to his right.

Sunwoo fell silent for a moment. He hadn’t really plan anything to or thought of somewhere special in such a short amount of time. He hadn’t quite gotten much sleep to begin with since he woke up very early to reach Kyuhyun’s house in the morning. He, on the other hand, thanked Gongchan and Dongwoo or being the reliable friends anyone could ask for.

“You’ll see,” Sunwoo replied but furrowed his eyebrows at how it felt weird. He gulped and looked at Junghwan who’s only smiling at him.

He can’t stop worrying. He couldn’t stop pondering more on more on the special and, not to mention, most important issue he had to discuss with Junghwan. He prayed to the gods that Junghwan would understand his good intentions.

They stopped by a small and expensive apparel store for suites and coats. Sunwoo guided Junghwan inside and the manager entertained them first.

“Order for Cha Sunwoo,” Sunwoo spoke and one man carrying two black suits approached them. It’s a clean and neat cut of a perfectly tailored black suits with grey vests and white shirts. “Mr. Gong said that you’d be the one choosing the neckties.”

Sunwoo nodded as he assisted Junghwan on one of the couches. Junghwan looked surprised hearing that they entered some building filled with probably some expensive clothes.

“What’s your favorite color?” Sunwoo asked as he sat beside him and caressed his hand.

“I don’t know, yellow?”

Sunwoo cringed his face and stifled a laugh.

“Yellow?”

Junghwan pouted. “Duck is yellow. I like ducks.” Sunwoo wanted to pinch Junghwan’s cheeks for the cute logic.

Sunwoo shook his head and got up. He ruffled Junghwan’s hair and walked towards the racks of neckties and bowties of all different colors. He grabbed one navy blue bowtie for him and a navy blue necktie for Junghwan. Blue is better, he thought.

“Let me help you, sir,” Sunwoo heard from the couch and he motioned towards them. He waved his hand away from the saleslady and she bowed in respect. Junghwan only smiled and felt Sunwoo’s hand cupping his face.

“I’ll help him,” and did Sunwoo just sounded all the different intentions.

The saleslady accompanied them to the changing room.. Sunwoo grabbed his cane and replaced it with a coat hanger. “Change into these. Can you do that?”

Junghwan nodded and slowly stripped as Sunwoo offered the piece of clothing one by one. Junghwan grabbed the slacks and gave thought for a moment. “Go on. I can change them on my own.” He said with determination and a smile, not to mention a small blush that crept on his face.

Sunwoo grinned and nodded as he opened the door, and helped himself out the room. He changed his clothes and managed to head out first before Junghwan. When Junghwan opened the door, Sunwoo can’t stop gaping at how handsome he looked. The slacks and the suit fit him perfectly. He was happy with his selection of neckties because blue suited him very well.

“How do I look?” Junghwan asked and Sunwoo nodded affrimingly.

“Gorgeous.” was the sweet reply and Junghwan blushed to that.

--

It been a quick drive after the changing into their clothes and Junghwan waited nervously where Sunwoo might bring him. He can’t control the happiness in his face when Sunwoo had brought him to a modern rendezvous of jazz and orchestra concert. Sunwoo held his hand and grabbed his cane. Sunwoo folded the cane close and left it in the car.

“Is it all right?” Junghwan asked but he lingered his head at all directions. He can’t fight the anticipation of hearing wonderful music. Sunwoo thanked Jinyoung and Gongchan, and himself for looking through Junghwan’s collection of vinyl records, and figuring that he would definitely like this.

Sunwoo held his hand and Junghwan looked like a kid given a treat when they sat on one of the rows in the orchestra part of the auditorium. He gazed at Junghwan as he turned his head from one side to the other as if listening to all sounds that attracted him like a dog. “How is it? Oh, where are we sitting? It’s been so long!”

Junghwan asked too many questions as they waited for the concert to begin. Sunwoo had to contain his laughter. He pulled Junghwan’s nearest hand and squished it lightly.

“Would you just stay still? You’re like a duck quacking nonstop.”

“But the duck is just happy, Sunwoo,” came the reply and Sunwoo fought the urge to lean in and ravish his lips. He decided that a soft press of kiss on the lips would suffice before the show begins.

--

“This is the best night of my entire life!” Junghwan huffed as they walked out the auditorium, hands still entwined and Sunwoo leaned near to his side.

“Junghwan, are you hungry?”

“Isn’t that part of the date?” Junghwan teased, as he held on Sunwoo’s hand tighter. He needed the man for support since his cane was confiscated. Sunwoo grinned and let a playful groan as he guided Junghwan to a small restaurant.

As the night closes in, Sunwoo’s anxiety just heightens. He felt it’s rude to interrupt during the concert and he certainly didn’t have the heart to just ask him while they’re eating dinner. Most especially when Junghwan’s being too lovable stuffing shrimp in his mouth and he would love to be fed too.

It was just too difficult to ask him about something so personal and sensitive because Junghwan might misunderstand things and he doesn’t want that. He’s too paranoid that he began sweating so hard, he had to remove his jacket and hung it over his shoulder while his other hand held on to Junghwan’s.

“Let’s sit for a while, I have something to tell you,” Sunwoo croaked and he just died at how cheerful Junghwan’s nodded was. Hopefully, he wouldn’t break Junghwan’s heart.

They sat on the nearest bench alongside the pathway that connects the entrance of the auditorium to the parkway. It was a rather chilly night and stars studded the black raven sky. It was quite peaceful and enthralling that it hurts Sungwoo to break the happiness filling Junghwan in.

Junghwan closed his eyes and smiled, feeling the cold breeze touch his skin. He truly enjoyed this evening and how he wish he can see everything—witness and recall all images like he last remembered.

“Since when have you been listening to classical music?”

“Sungmin-eomma used to live with us before he went Macau. He played the piano everyday. I got the liking from him.”

“You are really like the young version of eomma,” Sunwoo concluded as he planted his palms on the edge of the bench. Junghwan leaned against him.

“Sunwoo?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for tonight.”

“You’re welcome.”

It was the most sincere thank you he’d heard and Sunwoo swallowed all the strength he can mutter to spill it out already.

“Guess it’ll feel even better if you can see again?”

“Yes, that would’ve been better.”

Sunwoo curled his fingers on the bench and huffed heavily.

“Would you like to see again?”

Junghwan searched for Sunwoo’s hand and brushed his fingers on his kunckles. “That would be nice.”

Here it goes. “What would you say if we help you see again?”

“What?”

“Jinyoung thought that it might be nice if we send you to Dubai and get you healed. I asked eomma and Kyuhyun-appa and they agreed.”

“What?” and Sunwoo swore all he heard was a plain and half-irritated response. He flinched as Junghwan stood up from the bench and looked down at him.

“Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo looked up and gulped at how the bright eyes faltered. He watched at the man. He recalled a smiling brightly grin plastered a while ago—now wiped of off his face.

“Please take me home.” And Sunwoo didn’t like the sound of flatness in that. It was so plain yet it pierces straight to the heart that Sunwoo can’t help but shrink every second. He concluded that everything had been exactly what he had anticipated and it saddens him.

He hoped for anything. Like wished that Junghwan could at least held onto Sunwoo’s fingers on their way back to the car as he help him walk; or, he could at least say something inside the car on their way home and not make Sunwoo uncomfortable in silence; or that Junghwan could at least said goodnight when Sunwoo walked him to the doorstep. But Junghwan didn’t, hell he didn’t even smile when he entered the room and closed the door. Junghwan could at least let Sunwoo explain. Junghwan could at least hear what Sunwoo have to say I love you and I’m doing this for you but as he closed the door, Sunwoo felt a loud pang of rejection. How can he convince Junghwan that it’s all for his own good?

He walked back in his car and called Jinyoung.

“Let’s meet.”