Hi! I’m really sorry that I don't get to update anymore. But writing only one chapter takes me a lot of time, it didn't before, but now it does

Enjoy!

The Truth is Coming Out…

Back at the dorm, the four still hasn't heard anything from the maknae but the three tried to push their worries aside, knowing they’d find out what happened somehow. Jinki on the other hand, was silently crying in his room. He was worried something bad had happened but then again he thought Taemin was on a date, which was still pretty bad...

He was crying because it was obvious that the maknae didn't want anything to do with him whether it be tips for singing or be it about love. He remembered that during their first few years of being idols the younger would always ask if he had found that special someone yet since the leader was older, or the boy would ask how it felt like to fall in love thinking Jinki must’ve already did but the leader would always reply with an "I don't know" and then leave the topic with his chuckles joined with his goofy smile.

Jinki wanted to go to the rooftop where he first met the boy; yell at it, hurt it in some way just to bring the boy back to him. All he wanted was to have the boy ask him all the obvious questions like he's done so before. A thought came to him, maybe Taemin didn't need to ask questions because he knew them now. Maybe Taemin hadn't changed at all, maybe it was because he ran out of questions for him to answer because he’s grown, maybe... maybe because he didn't need him anymore.

He noticed it, Taemin would often go to Jonghyun or to their sunbaes and ask if he was good at making the pitch or if he at least reached it, he’d ask for what he needed to improve on and further questions that dealt with singing. He noticed it but didn't say anything because he thought Taemin wanted to roam around more and get to know other people. Because… he was boring.

Jinki gave him space because he thought he was acting like the clingy best friend he thought he was. He gave the boy some space because he knew the boy needed to be surrounded by all kinds of people to know the outside world, most especially because Taemin has been training from a very young age and didn’t get to do most things people his age did. He just didn't know that giving space would lead to drifting away.

As Jinki cried into his pillow he remembered the time when their labelmates would call them inseparable because wherever the other went to, the other went as well. He missed those days... Jinki smiled for a brief moment but soon he was sad again because he knew that people had stopped identifying the both of them as the ‘inseparable best friends’. He knew it wouldn’t come back because everything had changed but he knew for sure Taemin hadn't. It was him and he knew it.

But the maknae did changed. He changed in so many ways but Jinki didn't want to look at it that way.

He wanted to at least hold onto the fact that he'll always be beside the maknae, to be there when Taemin truly needs him, to be there when the maknae is all excited about a guy he fell in love with. No matter the reason, all he wanted was to be beside Taemin... to be near him.

***

It took awhile for Taemin to stop crying, he was just glad that the cafe was close to empty. He didn’t want people claiming that the were fans that they took pictures. He was just really glad it were people who didn’t care someone was crying.

He sat there glancing at the building once in awhile but eventually, he got up to order something for s as a way to say sorry for worrying. He knew they’d be worried since he hadn’t called back to say he was with a friend after the meeting.

Later after getting the order, the two friends headed to SHINee's dorm and along the way a few fans caught them and took pictures but eventually left considering it was really late.

***

When the two friends arrived, Jinki was already asleep due to crying. They greeted the members as they entered the kitchen. Key followed behind, wanting to talk with the younger. "Taemin-ah, it's nice to know that you were with Moonkyu but the both of you could've told one of us that you’d be coming home late."

Taemin was avoiding to look at them right now, he knew his face must’ve still been swollen and his eyes were definitely still red. "Mianhe hyung... but you know the reason. I'll be in my room." With that Taemin waved goodbye to his friend and headed to his room. Moonkyu didn't stay long after Taemin left. However he stayed for a few minutes to explain what had happened and hearing that Taemin began to cry in public was heartbreaking.

They knew Taemin was strong and admired him for that but knowing that Taemin was slowly breaking into pieces — especially in public — surprised them. They knew he was hurting but they didn’t know that he was hurting by this much that he totally discarded what he promised himself; to never show his weak side. They now knew how much the maknae can hold but what they didn’t know was, how much longer he can be this way.

***

Taemin changed into proper clothes without even making sure if Jinki was home. He was tired of checking all the time.

He suddenly remembered the little notebook he had; he looked it over and found that the song he made wasn’t that bad afterall. He began to write again, giggling to himself as he remembered the first time he began writing again, he remembered that he was very heartbroken, even if he didn’t have a reason to be jealous.

Who knew love worked that way? Who knew that you’d laugh at yourself once you were over something so small even if you haven’t moved on at all. Now that he thought back to the day, he laughed at himself for being so childish. On that day, Jinki tried his best to talk to him, to apologize, yet he kept pushing the other away.

However, he had a reason to be jealous. He's loved Jinki for more than seven years and within those seven years, he knew he was falling even deeper to the point that no other person would become perfect in his eyes other than Jinki.

The boy began writing, putting all his feelings into it.

April 2, 2013

Do I really love you? Or am I just blind with the actions I see from you? Does my heart really beat for you or for someone else? Those are the words I want to hear coming from my mouth... but I know I can't because they aren't true… I do love you, I'm not blind… My heart beats only for you, not for anyone else. And you know what? I'm starting to get sick of it... I want this whole thing to end. I said ‘goodbye’ for a reason… yet here I am backing away from that. I thought I could finally do something for myself… but I guess I was wrong... I was wrong because I had to break it just to be closer to you...

He read it over, noticing that the journal entry was once again sad but he didn't care because he didn't want his mood to be wrecked. Most especially because he knew Moonkyu did his best to make him laugh as they walked in the streets of Seoul.

He appreciated his friend's effort, he really did.

He finished quite fast and hid the notebook. It took him awhile to fall asleep, trying not to think about Jinki. He just knew for sure that Jinki still hasn't came back, he never really does come home early anyway and he knew for sure that since Jinki was with his girlfriend, he wouldn't think about him...

But he was so wrong because Jinki did wait for him, he worried for him...

Jinki cried for him.

SO SO SO SORRY THAT I DON'T UPDATE FREQUENTLY!
But I hope you enjoyed it!
Bye! I hope you guys are still liking it!

AND HERE! HAVE A LOT OF ONTAE LOVE