a/n: sorry for the long wait T T im not going to explain myself because i've used all of the excuses in the previous chapters haha jk anyway! this'll be a two part update so stay tuned!

Joonmyeon’s parents are going to have their 30th wedding anniversary and everyone in the homestay is invited, as per Mrs. Kim’s request. They’re all excited, knowing that it will be held in one of the city’s biggest hotel.

They dressed appropriately for the event and the place. They all woke up early, knowing that the preparations might take too long, but some of the kids have prepared the attire the night before so—because Mr. Do told them to do so—they can leave the house early.

“Honey, do I look nice?” Mrs. Do asks her husband as she looks at herself in the mirror, ready to go.

Mr. Do smiled and hugs his wife from the back, “Head to toe, you’re perfect.” He answers making Mrs. Do giggle at the compliment.

Jongdae envies the couple in front of her as she sits at the sofa waiting for everyone to finish. She have prepared her short blue dress and her favorite black heels last night, which took her an hour long to decide if they fit together. Jongdae concludes that her outfit looks like Alice in Wonderland’s and it’s cute so she went to sleep, leaving the contents of her cabinet scattered around her room. She wants to look perfect before Joonmyun’s eyes.

The wedding anniversary is held at the fifteenth floor of the grand Conrad Seoul Hotel. Joonmyun’s family is by the door greeting all of the guests. If Jongdae is to ask, their family is gorgeous as heaven.

“Mr. and Mrs. Do!” exclaims Mrs. Kim when they finally approached taking Mrs. Do’s hand in hers, “I’m so glad to finally meet you! Thank you for taking care of our child!” she and her husband bowed deeply with a huge smile on their faces.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Thank you for inviting our whole family, too. It’s such an honor to finally meet you.” Mrs. Do says with a smile.

Their husbands shook hands, “You have a gorgeous family.” Mr. Do says.

“You too. Oh, I heard your daughter is a nurse?”

“She is! Come here Kyungsoo-ah.” Kyungsoo’s father beckons her to stand next to him, “She’s graduating soon.”

“You have a pretty daughter.” Mr. Kim compliments.

“Thank you, sir.” Kyungsoo says with a smile and bowed.

 “I hope they’ll work together when they graduate.”

“I hope so too.”

Mrs. Kim turned to her son, “Sweetie, please lead them to their table.”

Joonmyun nods, “Alright. Come on, omoni, aboji.” He leads them inside the hall.

Jongdae almost evaporated as she keeps disregarding Joonmyun’s stare when Kyungsoo’s parents are busy talking with each other. She doesn’t know what to say at all, Joonmyun has been hard to read like a ing ancient stone tablet these past few days. Honestly, she thought she lost Joonmyun. He has always been open with her, now, he’s closing in and he’s drifting far away.

Isn’t that a good thing, though?

Jongdae knows she’s just kidding with herself.

She looks up and stares back, her jaw almost dropped when Joonmyun smiled at her. She looks back down as she feels her blood rush fast to her cheeks. Joonmyun is such a big .

Joonmyun in his perfectly fitted black suit is just gorgeous. His hair is perfectly styled—as always—making him look like a prince and his perfect accessory…his smile. All of this makes Jongdae fist her hands tightly to conceal her feels.

They all seated in the round table near Joonmyun’s family at the center of the room. Kyungsoo’s parents asked how Joonmyun is because he was with his family for three days for the preparation of the party.

Kyungsoo threw Jongdae a knowing look. She did her best to hold back the smile that is threatening to unfold on her lips. Once Joonmyun is out of sight, Kyungsoo finally laughed.

“Joonmyun is so handsome today.” Kyungsoo starts.

Her mother nodded in agreement, “Isn’t he? He also looks like a complete gentleman. I like that boy.”

Jongdae kept zipped as Joonmyun’s smile and that look he gave her keeps replaying in her head. She hopes that he’s implying something because damn, she isn’t sure of what to think and the hope she keeps sky rocketed again. Oh Joonmyun please stop making me confused.

The party started after twenty-minutes and the first course of their meal are distributed. For their appetizer, they are given a plate of carpaccio and a glass of wine. Joonmyeon’s parents are standing on the small stage in front of all the guests, thanking everyone who attended and then starting on their love story. Collection of aw and ah are heard in the crowd whenever the two would give each other a sweet smile.

The main course, steak in red wine, is already over and everyone is now enjoying their chocolate parfait. Mr. and Mrs. Kim are also enjoying their dessert and later they will recite their vows for each other. Jongdae hopes that she can find the Mr. Kim or Do of his life. She looks over at Joonmyeon’s table and she sees him smiling brightly as he chats on with his brother.

Jongdae sighed and takes a sip of her moelleux.

“Don’t drown yourself.” Kyungsoo whispers when she saw her friend staring far off.

Jongdae shook her head, “I’m so damned. I can’t pull myself out. This is going to hurt like a motherer.”

The latter pinched her on the side, “Don’t curse. My parents are next to me, you dumb .”

Jongdae grinned sheepishly, “Sorry.”

Their desserts are taken away and are replaced with finger foods and a bottle of white wine on each table. Slow music starts to play and Joonmyeon’s parents take the first step of the dance in the center of the ballroom. Slowly, couples start to trickle in beside them; even Mr. and Mrs. Kim are gone to dance.

“Well, that was fast. I didn’t know our table is going to have a singles party.” Chanyeol remarks with mock sigh. The girls laughed in their table as they watch the couples dance their hearts away.

Luhan grinned at Kyungsoo and pulls her up, “Dance with me for a while.” The two are fast gone.

Jongdae elbowed Jongin and the latter threw her a glare. She giggled softly and mumbles a ‘sorry’.

A few beats later, Baekhyun cleared his throat and takes his wine in one go. He puts the glass down, empty, and turns to look at Chanyeol, “Let’s dance.” He says softly and lays his palms up for the girl to take. Everyone was surprised at Baekhyun’s invitation.

With a blush on her face, Chanyeol accepted the invitation and the two are gone in the midst of the dancing couples.

“This is not right.” Jongin grunts and stands up, possibly to snatch Kyungsoo away from Luhan.

It’s like prom all over again, she is left in the round table alone. Jongdae munched on the treats from the table and takes long sips of the wine. She thought of inviting Joonmyun out to dance but that’s not even an option, she’s too shy to start with.

The empty chair next to her moved and a man seats next to her. Joonmyun. Holy .

Joonmyun looks at Jongdae with a smile and opens his palm, “Can I dance with you?” he asks, just like a customary invitation a gentleman would make in every chick flick she watched.

Her heart raced in lightning speed and the blush on her cheeks spread fast. Jongdae shook her head and mumbles an almost inaudible, ‘sure’.

The two made their way through the dancing couples and found a spot somewhere in the center. Jongdae is not sure where to put her hands so she placed them on the edge of Joonmyun’s shoulder. Her breath almost got caught in when the latter’s hands make their way to her back, closing the distance between them. A chuckle escaped from Joonmyun’s mouth, he leads Jongdae’s hand to his nape.

“Have you ever danced before?” Joonmyun asked, amused.

“Yeah. I danced to Genie and Happy before!”

The doctor laughed, “No, I mean like this!”

“Of course! Numerous times!”

“Then why don’t you know where to put your hands?”

Jongdae opens to defend herself but she closes it because she isn’t sure of what to say. She chose to keep quiet instead.

Her hands intertwined behind Joonmyun’s neck. She can feel Joonmyun’s breath against her cheek, it tickles her skin but she doesn’t want to pull away. Her gaze are anywhere except on Joonmyun’s face. She stares at the window behind him because if she looks a second more long on his face, she might faint.

“I want to tell you something.” Joonmyun whispers in her ear, “Well, I don’t know how to start.”

“Just tell me in the way you’re comfortable with.” Jongdae encouraged.

Joonmyun slightly pulls away to look at Jongdae’s face. The latter is confused at the moment, but she stared back and waited for whatever the doctor is going to say.

“You can push me away if you want, but don’t worry; I have prepared myself for that. So what I’m going to say is that I may have liked—“

“Joonmyun?” a girl cuts the said guy off.

Joonmyun stopped and looked at the girl, “Sungkyung?”

“Woah, is that really you?” the girl, Sungkyung, asked incredulously, “You look handsome tonight.”

The doctor completely pulls away from Jongdae but left an arm around her waist. He smiled at Sungkyung, “Why thank you. You look pretty too. How are you? Oh, by the way, this is Kim Jongdae. We met at the homestay.”

“Hey.” Jongdae greets with a smile, “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Lee Sungkyung, Joonmyun’s friend. Nice to meet you, too.” Sungkyung said with a smile and they shake hands.

“Sungkyung darling?” Joonmyun’s mom came. They didn’t notice that they were just close to Mr. and Mrs. Kim.

“Hello omoni.” The girl greeted with a smile and a deep bow.

Mrs. Kim looked at Jongdae and gave her a smile too, “You’re staying at the homestay too, right?”

“Yes, Mrs. Kim. I am Jongdae.” Jongdae says with a smile and bow.

“Nice to meet you, Jongdae. I hope my son is not behaving badly.” Mrs. Kim says with a chuckle and then turns to Sungkyung, “How’s your father? I’ve been asking him if you’re free this weekend to set a small family date.” Mrs. Kim said and holds Sungkyung’s hand.

“Omoni, Joonmyun won’t attend. He knows exactly what will happen.” Sungkyung teased with a grin, “He doesn’t want to get married yet.”

“Too young for that.” Joonmyun retorts.

“Uhm,” Jongdae felt out of place. She slides off Joonmyun’s hand from her waist. Joonmyun looked at her in surprise but Jongdae only gave him a smile and slipped in to the crowd back to their table. She knows that kind of look Mrs. Kim is giving to Sungkyung. There’s no way she can compete with her.

She feels so small. In terms of height, yes, because Sungkyung got those model legs while she got the not so long ones. Jongdae feels her heart smashing her rib cage and it doesn’t feel nice. She feels suffocated. She thought that she finally has the courage to carry on with her feelings for Joonmyun. It feels like her determination when she’s talking with Minho suddenly goes down the drain.

“What happened? Your face looks sour.” Chanyeol asked.

Jongdae fills her glass with the wine and drinks it in one go.

“Woah there.”

“I’m going first. Tell omoni and aboji ok?” Jongdae said, “I promise to tell you later.”

Chanyeol stared at her dumbfounded but she doesn’t say anything and only nodded her head before Jongdae leaves.

Jongdae’s mind flew back to where Joonmyun has been cut off. Liked? Who? Me? Nah. Jongdae thought and shook her head. She thought that maybe he likes someone and he is going to ask another love advice from her. She wouldn’t answer him this time, if ever that is what he is going to say. She’ll tell him ‘ you. i won’t answer that until that girl you like is going to be me.’ The timing and the location is not important anymore. It doesn’t have to be a quiet place like what is in the dramas. As long as she got the guts, she’ll tell him. But that guts is gone.

It feels like it’s another sign for her to not to pursue her love for Joonmyun. She feels like a shrimp next to the girls that he dated, honestly. They’re all pretty, some are not so much but they are still pretty.

Why do I keep making myself small? Jongdae punched her clutch bag in frustration.

Her cellphone ringed. Joonmyun is calling.

I’m asleep.

The phone ringed three more times but Jongdae ignored it.

Jongdae imagines their family having a restaurant date as they talk about their possible future together as business partners and in-laws. They would look so good next to each other.

The bus stopped and she gets off. Jongdae walks a few blocks and found herself in a small bar in between a rundown building and a nondescript coffee shop. Booze in the middle of the afternoon may seem odd but she still enters and texted Kyungsoo and Chanyeol her location in case she won’t be returning until the sun is down.

After the message is sent, Jongdae orders a shot of tequila before giving Minho a call.

“What’s up?” Minho answered after a few rings.

“Is it ok to drink tequila before other alcohols?”

“I don’t recommend drinking tequila at all. What? Are you drinking?”

Jongdae hummed, “Yes, kind of.” She puts her phone down to drink the tequila. The alcohol runs a hot track down on and her head felt like it was electrocuted. Jongdae picks her phone up again, “Holy ! It was strong?”

“What! I told you—where the are you anyway?” Minho asked in worry.

“I’m ok. Thanks man.”

“No, I’m going.”

Jongdae sighed and tells her location.

“Don’t leave. I’m coming.”

“Alright.” Jongdae grunts, “Hey, you know. I don’t think I’m going to work out with Joonmyun. At all.”

“Are we on this again?”

Jongdae orders a bottle of beer, “Yeah. Bear with me as you make your way here. I know you’re in your dorm.”

“fine, fine. What is it this time?”

“So I saw this girl. She’s so pretty and her name is Sungkyung. I’m going to bet that Joonmyun’s mom have set them up once before. By the way I’ve been in their anniversary party an hour ago. So yeah, I know you’re thinking I’m being unreasonable right now but it hurts like hell because they look so good together and you don’t know the way they look at each other, it’s like they have a history.” Jongdae stops and takes a deep breath. She gives the beer a long gulp and continued, “Mrs. Kim likes her for her son. I mean, who wouldn’t, right?! And here I am an average student studying mass communication at an ok university—“

Minho sighed, “Stop. And our university is not an ok university. God knows how many students want to get in. And Jongdae? I know I’ve said this many times before but you should stop belittling yourself. What if you’re the girl he likes? What if Mrs. Kim finds you more endearing than that girl? There are a lot of possibilities. Give your all even you only have the one percent. It’s a gamble but it’s worth the try.”

The door to the bar opens and Jongdae sees Minho walking towards her, “You’re pretty too. You can compete against any other girl.”

Jongdae stares at her friend for a long time. The words took time for them to sink in, and when they did, Jongdae breaks down and throws her arms around Minho’s waist.

“I’m sorry. I’m being stupid again. It’s just that, I don’t know! It feels like I’m not supposed to be between them.”

“You’re worth it, Jongdae. Stop that.”

“Thank you so much.” Jongdae smiled at Minho and the latter smiles back. She probably looks like with her make up smudged on her face, “Can I come to your dorm? I promise to leave as soon as I clean my face up.”

“You don’t like my dorm, it’s a men’s dorm.”

“I don’t, but I can’t come home like this.” Jongdae pulls away and shows her face with mascara under her eyes, “See?”

Minho thought for a moment, “You’re risking my life here. The boys will go wild.”

True to what Minho said, as soon as they step in the dorm’s building, the boys looked at them like they are aliens. Jongdae suddenly felt like her below the knee dress feels like it isn’t long enough. Her eyes are glued to the ground as they make their trip to his friend’s dorm.

“Who’s that?” Taehyun asked when the two finally reached Minho’s room, “Oh, Jongdae noona. What happened to your face?”

“Soaked in salt water.” Jongdae answered and quickly slipped in the bathroom.

“What happened to her?”

“Heart broken.”

Jongdae doesn’t know how it happened, or the two roommates, but when they passed the entertainment area in the dorm, the boys crowded around who appears to be Minho’s team mates in baseball.

“She is the girl you’re talking about right?” a guy asked.

“Nope, she’s my best friend.”

“Huh? But the description fits! Pretty, not so tall and I think she’s nice.”

Jongdae felt embarrassed me? Pretty? Oh please.

“You must be getting it wrong. We’re just friends.”

The guys pouted, “Aw, I thought they’re finally together!”

“She has her own love interest. So if you’ll excuse us, we’re leaving—“

“But Changsub just brought back his mom’s muffins! Let’s give her one!”

“But!”

Suddenly, they’re lead in to the entertainment room, and Jongdae is seated on a fluffy bean bag next to her friend. She is served with the said muffins and a glass of juice.

“Thank you.” she smiled.

“I’m Sungjae! What’s your name?”

“I’m Jongdae.”

“Nice to meet you!” the guy named Sungjae exclaims with a bright smile and Jongdae can’t help but to smile back as brightly as the latter’s.

“What brings you here?” Another guy asked with the name Ilhoon.

“I just came to wash my face. My mascara is not waterproof.” She answered; still shy around the people she just met.

“Oh that’s my girlfriend’s problem always!” he said making Jongdae giggle.

“Yeah, mascaras make us suffer.”

It wasn’t supposed to happen, but Jongdae kind of revealed that she was drinking earlier. Some boys were surprised because a girl is drinking in the middle of the afternoon. She explained herself and also tells them what the reason is. The group of boys she just met turned into a circle of love counsel.

Jongdae was entertained to the fullest and she found herself laughing, momentarily forgetting her problems. So when she left, she promised to pay them a visit and bring her own home made food in an exchange for their kindness and generosity.

“I had fun today.” Jongdae starts with a smile, “Thank you again.”

“Well, it’s not just me so make sure to not break your promise.” Minho said, “Oh, here’s the taxi. Take care. Bye.”

“Bye bye!” Jongdae gives her friend one last hug before getting in.

On the way home, Jongdae thought of the food she is capable to cook or bake so she can give the boys another visit after their finals. She might need Mrs. Do’s help.