Lesson 7

Jessica Jung

My lung squeeze for air. Sand scrubbing the fresh wound under my feet. The strong wind dry my pale face and left a trail of tear against the white skin. The thin dress waving with the wind. I am the only one standing on the beach.

Against the sound of waves hitting against the shore , I scream for his name.  I need an explanation.

“Stop leaving me!”

I throw my shoes into the endless sky. Lose my balance and let gravity take me down. “I am pathetic.” I whisper to myself. How much more do I want?

“Youngji take your sister with you. Why did you leave me? You could have waited for the ambulance.” The sky blurred from my vision. Tears stream down from the corner of my eyes and touched my ears. I push myself up from the sand and head back to the street.

Luhan is standing a few feet behind me. “I am sorry.” He said in a low voice. I watched his face clench together. “Sorry to ruin your date.” He looked away to catch his breath from crying. An angel is crying in front of me. I allow him to finish talking.

“I took your brother’s life away.” His watery eyes locked with mines. I was the one that took him away. I felt the earth spin around me.

“He wasn’t suppose to die.” I watch his hand shakes.

“So all these wishes is a joke?” I heard myself said weakly.  “You are just here to pay me back?”

“No, that’s not it.” He took a step closer. “I was taking wish of another.”

I bite my teeth hard. “WHO!”

“I can’t say it.”Luhan kept his head low.

“This is a joke right!” I strom towards him and grab him by the collar. “Don’t mess with my heart. I consider you my only friend.”

“Tell me!” I shake him, but only realize it was me who couldn’t hold the balance. He try to catch me from the fall, but I push him away. “Let me alone.”

Not a word was exchanged after that.

I trail down the busy street with him following me. I thought about how much my brother meant to me. The way he left me is unjustify. I am angry. Angry at myself. I couldn’t protect him from getting beat up. I could have looked the door that day. I shouldn’t have let him to brought money from the sharks. I should have worked more.

We found our way back to the hotel.

Luhan kept his distance, but never left.

Chanyeol saw me by the entrance. His worry lighted up with happiness when he saw me and quickly ran towards me. From the corner of my eyes I spot Kris.

He took a wider step and reached me first. Chanyeol gave him a look. “I will take her from now on.” Kris look down at my feet. He sweep me up from the ground. I didn’t protest. I didn’t have the energy to.

I wasn’t sure if Luhan is still following me, but I drown myself in my own thought. Kris brought me to the first aid department. He set me down on a chair and clean the wound on my feet for me. He was quiet and focus.

“What happen?” He asked without looking up.

I didn’t say anything.

“I am sorry.” He said in the exact same tone as Luhan.

“I heard enough for today.” I sighed.

“Forgive me for the immaturity.” He gently let my feet down. “Is this about your brother?” He always guess everything so easily. At this time, he is probably the worse person I should go to.

Why am I telling my personal problem to my ex?

I shouldn’t open up to him. Don’t play with his feeling.

I pull me towards his arm. His hands wrap around me and pat me gently on the head. He knows how to comfort me. I burst into tears and cried on his shoulder. I remember mumbling words about what happen, but he probably couldn’t understand me under that kind of situation.

“It’s ok, now.”

I am the worst.  Why am I going back to him?

Did I forgive him already? Why should I? Why shouldn’t I?

I woke up with a headache on my bed. I was in my empty room again. I reach to the mirror and circle my puffy eyes with my finger.

I still ache for my brother and my child’s death, but it was wrong of me to blame it on Kris and Luhan.

There are something in life that I just can’t control. It is up to me to choose which road I walk on. My phone suddenly light up next to me. After a short pause, it started to vibrate.

10101

I hesitated on picking it up. I didn’t know what to do. It vibrated around 5 to 10 second. Then I stop and black out again.

Soon the doorbell rang, I walked towards the door and grab on the handle. I hesitated again. Is it Luhan? or Kris? Should I forgive him?

The doorknob turn for me. Someone pulled from the otherside. Luhan standing on the other side of the door. Right behind him is scatter with red roses.

“I didn’t do this with magic.” He explained nervously. “I don’t know what you like so... I just find what I can find. I can understand if you can’t forgive me. But I didn’t approach you with a wish to pay back for what I did. Since the beginning, I treat you with my heart. I can understand if you...”

I gently laid my head on his chest and wrap my hands around him. Surprisingly, I can heard an angel’s heart beats. For a second, I forgot he was from another world.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize.” I heard the rock in his heart drop.

He sighed heavily. “Thank you.”

Class 101, forgive yourself.