Lesson 4

Jessica Jung

He and I exchange eye contact again. He was standing by the desk when I walked it. A smile slowly formed on his face, but no mines.

“I want to apologize again.”

“That is what you are going to say after I told you about the death of our...” I stopped, because there is a part of me wanted to cry. There is also a part of me that don’t want him to see the tears.

The guilt rushed to his face, “When did it happen?”

“Remember when you left.” I rewind his memories, “I found out the next day, after I woke up from a pool of blood on the empty bed.”

His brows furrowed and slided a cup of wine near his lips. “I am sorry.”

I took a seat on the sofa in the room. The flower vase was empty and the tea table was full of dust. I closed my eyes and try to stop pondering how he had been living for the past years.

“Whatesle you need to say?” I said facing him with my back.

“I think we never had an official break up.” Kris continue. I heard the ice cube slide against the glass cup.

“Kris.” The name lingered on my tongue. It tasted damp, crumble and ancient, but there is wind attached with that name. The moment we ran away hand in hand with an unpredictable future.

“I hate you. Let’s break up.” I stood up and look right into his eyes.

He raised his eyebrows and puts down the glass cup in his hand. The radio in his office suddenly turn on between the silence, but it was only the sound of gray and white snowflakes.

He didn’t answer my request. He only said, “I am getting married soon.” Then I left the room. From the corner of my eyes I still saw our promise ring hanging around his neck. He is waiting for me to end it for him, because he can’t let go.

The door shut close by itself behind me. Kris only stared at my disappearance between the closing doors. Luhan lift his head and look into my eyes for a while. His face expression matched with mines. As if he can read mind, he held my right hand with both of his.

In a very low and soft voice, he repeated, “You only truly forget, when you stop caring.”

We walked out the shelled doors.

I pulled my hand away when I realize the warmth he was offering to me. I couldn’t bring my eyes to face his. It is too ashamed to let others know about my past. I have been trying to hid it with wealth and power, but this man just saw right through my heart.

“I am sorry.”

“You don’t have to hide from me. I knew everything about you.”

“Are you really a genie?”

“Yes.” He smiled.

“What other magic can you do?”

“I don’t do magic. I only use it when I helps you with your wish.”

“I wish to be alone right now.” I look at him as he turn silent. “Just a few minute is enough. I promise I will make you an angel.”

Luhan’s eyebrows furrowed at the words, but he turn and walked away. I must have annoyed him. I walked around the bridge, which it always calms me down from anything other thoughts. There is a light wind blowing against the water under me. The  water sparkled as the sunlight shine against it. No one was on the bridge except me. No cars were passing. I was alone again.

Now it’s completely over. I guess I was just waiting for that moment to ensure that our relationship had no where to go. For the past years, I never really wanted to move on, or maybe I couldn’t let go.

I lean against the red fence of the bridge. Tears running down my cheek. The memories of my lost child hit me again. “I am sorry. Please forgive me.” I locked my fingers together and bury my head into my arm.

“Forgive me.”

From the corner of my eyes, I picked up the rainbow colors of balloons. There are about a thousand of them in different colors. In many different orders their flowed upward and painted my view with brightness. I quickly bend over the fence.

Luhan was standing on a wooden boat under the bridge. There was a bright smile on his face and another red balloon still attached on his pinky.

He took in a deep breath and shouted, “I can’t do magic.” He suddenly disappeared from the boat and appear right next to me. I jerked from surprise.

“But I can make someone happy.” Another smile formed by his lips. He push the last balloon towards me.

“Why are you doing this? It can’t make you an angel.”

“My mission was to bring happiness. Wish is just part of the package.” Luhan wipes the tears from my face with his thumb.

“What else is in the package?” I stared at the red balloon as he tie it around my pinky.

“I will always be next to you.”

“Do I really deserve all these from god?” Our eyes met. His were so bright. It brought hope into me.

“You do.” He smooth my hair with his hand. “God loves you.”

I smiled lightly at his comfort. “Tell me how can I make you an angel.”

He joyfully held my hand and started to lead me down the bridge. His hand is gentle as if it is a comfort from a friend. We walked towards the singing bird and green garden.

The red balloon floating above me.

“Class 101, Learn to love yourself.”

For the first time, I notice the flowers and trees blossoming around me.