It was the last day in London. My flight leaves in four hours so I have just a little bit time left with Taemin. In the past two weeks we had such a great time. Walking around London, going to the carnival, relaxing at the beach and more. I was still wondering about the marriage question he asked me. I wasn't gonna leave that unsettled. We were both in the living room alone. The other guys were out as usual. Taemin was looking at me, expecting me to say something. I wanted to say something different, but I was getting beaten up by the curiosity growing inside me. My heart was was beating quickly, as the question escaped my lips.

"Taemin, I have been wanting to ask you this for a while now, remember right before we went to sleep you decided to ask me some questions. You asked if I would marry you if you preposed. Were you thinking of doing that?" he looked very confused, but seconds later remembered. I could see that in his quick change in expression.

"Oh, that! I just wanted to know. I mean, maybe one day I would want to prepose to you. I wanted to know if you would say yes. That's all."

I felt a rush of anger go through my body. "That's all? You say it like it's something small. From my view that's very important!" I stood up and was looking down at him furious. "And anyway, even if I said yes, we wouldn't be able to get married anyway! Your a popstar, don't you remember? Your fans would kill you, you AND me!" he was also standing up now, looking annoyed. 

"Well, maybe I'll quit!" when those words escaped his mouth I fell silent. "Quit being a popstar!" he was starring at me, eagerly waiting for a response. I was standing completely still, and managed to quietly say,

"You can't just quit, you know that."

"Why not? Atleast we could be together! Don't you want that?"

"Why are you asking me those type of things? Ofcourse I do! But think about your fans, your fame. Think about Shinee..." he took a step closer and cupped my face into his hands, while looking deeply into my eyes.

"For you, I'd be willing to sacrifise anything." His words were so powerful it even brought tears to my eyes. He gently kissed my forehead. "Now, you should start packing." that was the last thing he said to me before walking off to his room. I was still standing there, processing what just happened. 

It was finally time for me to leave. The taxi was already outside, beeping inpatiently. I had my suitcase by my side, and was ready to go. Taemin was still in his room. He hasn't been out since our little argument. I was thinking of saying a final goodbye, but didn't want to bother him, so just left. I felt like bursting into tears. I just wish I could of hugged him one last time. I won't be feeling his warmth for a long time. Probably in another few years.

I've realised that it's impossible for us to be together. No matter how strong our love is. He's a popstar, and I'm an ordinary girl. You simply cannot mix ordinary with popular. That's just a recipe for disaster. Everyone should stay in their catagories. I still love Taemin with all my heart, I just think we should move on. I was thinking of telling him that on the phone. 

The taxi driver took my luggage and put it in the trunk while I took one last glance at Shinee's suite window. A few tears escaped my eyes and I turned to enter the cab. When the taxi driver finally started driving, I decided to take out my phone and call Taemin to tell him the hard news.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Selena? Why are you phoning me? Just come to my room."

"I've already left."

"What?!" I could hear some movement and the sound of a door opening in the background. I think he was checking the living room. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to bother you."

"But you didn't even say goodbye..."

"I know. Anyway, that's not why I phoned you."

"Well, why did you phone me then?"

"Its to talk about us. Taemin, I love you, but,"

"What are you trying to say?"

"We can't be together. This is also probably the last conversation I'm gonna have with you."

"Please tell me your joking!" I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Between my whimpers I said,

"I will always love you, but I think we need to move on. If you have to choose between me and your career, I want you to choose your career. I don't want you to give up everything you've worked so hard for for me. We need to move on."

"Wait, so are you breaking up with me?" When he put it like that, it hurt my heart, but in a way, he was correct. I didn't want him to think that though.

"Don't put it like that. Please, your hurting me."

"I think your the one hurting me! Why didn't you tell me this before?" I was silent. Then I said my final words.

"Goodbye Taemin, goodbye forever." I put the phone down. I was getting constant calls from him afterwards, so I turned off my phone. I was silently crying the whole way to the airport. I wiped my tears when I finally arrived. My eyes were really swollen up and red, but that was the least of my worries. The taxi driver handed my luggage over and I paid him. Then continued the rest of my journey home.

My eyes were back to normal by the time I got to the front of my doorstep. I slightly knocked and turned the doorknob, entering in the hallway, dragging the heavy suitcase behind me. It was 6pm so my parents should of been home. "I'm home!" I yelled. I was gonna go to my appartment first to put away the luggage, but was desperate to see my parents. A few seconds later I could hear footsteps from the kitchen. My mum was running with open arms towards me, smiling a huge smile. I'm guessing my dad wasn't there because he had to work night shift. I would meet him eventually.

"Darling! Your home!" I tried smiling as cheerfully as I possibly could, but my mum knew me too well. I was happy to see her, I was just still thinking about Taemin. We both hugged for a few seconds, she nearly breaking my ribs from her tight embrace. "How was your visit? You don't seem too happy," I was just looking at her. A weak smile turning into a sad frown. That's when I burst into tears. My mum didn't even question why I was crying. She just wrapped one arm around my shoulder and lead me into the living room to sit down. 

I told her everything. Our wonderful times together while I was there, and then the breakup. I also told her what I said to Taemin over the phone. 

"Well, if he said that he would sacrifise anything for you, and you breaking up with him, I just don't understand."

"So your saying I did something wrong?"

"No, I just don't understand why you would break up with a boy like that. He sounds perfect."

"He IS perfect!"

"Then why on earth did you break up with him?"

"He asked me if I would marry him. Right before leaving I asked him why he asked me that. He said because maybe one day he would prepose to me. If he does prepose to me, we wouldn't be able to get married anyway because we wouldn't be allowed. He's a popstar and I'm an ordinary girl. We can only get married if he quits being a popstar and he even told me he would in order for us to be together, but I didn't want him giving up his career for me, so I broke up with him." She looked so astonished to what I told her and then finally spoke up.

"Sweety, I know you only want the best for him, but you also want him to be happy right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well he's happy when he's with you. All people want is love and happiness, that's exactly what you have been giving him. When he said that he would sacrifice anything for you, he thought you were the only thing that mattered to him. His career might be important, but when you left him, you took away his happiness and love he had been recieving from you. You took away the things that were most important." 

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you should ask him what he really wants." I tried understanding what she just told me. "Well sweety, it's getting late, you should head home."

"Alright mum, thanks for the great advice."

"No problem. If there's anything else that's bothering you, you know you can talk to me." 

"I know, thanks. Good night."

I guess I will have to phone Taemin tonight. Now I have a lto to talk to him about.

I headed back to my appartment, dragging my suitcase behind me. I turned my phone back on just to see if there was any notifications. I had about 19 missed calls from Taemin, one voicemail that was also from him, and a text from Minho. I was very curious why he had texted me, so I checked it out. The text said,

'Selena! This is urgent! Taemin is at the hospital! You have got to get over here ASAP!'

He's in the hospital? 

I listened to the voicemail he left me. 

Selena, clearly your not gonna pick up, maybe you will never pick up. I just want you to know that your the best thing that ever happened to me. .... I can't live without you. There's no point in me living if I don't have you. Knowing that I'll never see you again, or hear your sweet voice is killing me. I don't want to feel anymore of this pain. I'm escaping. This is the last you'll be hearing of me. Remember, I love you. Goodbye, forever...'

Sound's like he's gonna commit suicide. That's probably related to Minho's text. I need to fly back to England, urgently! I don't even know if he's still alive. Please Taemin, don't be dead, please...