With my heels in hand I climb up the stairs and enter my apartment. I look around and notice a jacket on my couch. Completely frozen I look around my apartment. Someone is here…

I hear a noise come from the kitchen and slowly walk toward it. Shouldn’t I scream for help? Run to Chanyeol? Then again he might not even be home right now…

I lean against the wall and slowly peak around the corner to see who it is. Suddenly a figure appears right in front of me. An ear piercing scream escapes my mouth and dies out as soon as it started.

“Oh Ally! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you!” Chanyeol apologizes over and over again.

I sink down onto my knees and just stare at him. My heart almost breaks through my rib cage with every beat, my entire body shaking from shock. Chanyeol’s arms wrap around me and he pulls me into a hug. I lean against him, closing my eyes and just taking in how safe I feel with him here.

“Why are you here?” I ask him, after finally calming down.

“Oh… well, I had a fight with face” (no he did not really call her that, but I just replace her name with that, and her full nickname is just too long so I settled with face)

I try to suppress my delight at the news.

“Aww… what about?”

He shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling as he runs his hand through his hair.

“Don’t worry about it…” He suddenly looks at me, “By the way, what’s with you being so dressed up?”

Wait, why won’t he tell me? He tells me everything? But I shouldn’t press him for the answer… And doesn’t he like me being dressed up? The other guys told me I look pretty and he just… I guess he really doesn’t see me in that way, huh?

“I was helping Kyungie… that’s all”

“Kyungie?” Chanyeol asks, his face becoming unreadable.

“Yeah, it’s my new nickname for him, well actually that’s what his mom calls him”

Chanyeol’s face darkens.

“You met his parents?”

I nod, and just as I’m about to tell him that I was actually pretending to be Kyungsoo’s girlfriend, I stop myself. I know that it’s a really terrible thing for me to do. But I wanted to know if Chanyeol would be jealous, I mean if he had any trace of feelings for me I would find out right now.

“So you and Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol mutters, looking down at his hands.

I don’t answer him, I just watch him, waiting for any sign of him being jealous. But there’s nothing, he looks up at me and smiles.

“Well as long as you’re happy”

 “ “As long as you’re happy” what the hell?!” I grumble, still fuming about Chanyeol’s I-don’t-care attitude.

I press my forehead against the cool shower wall. Doesn’t he care at all and how can he not even compliment or tease me about me being dressed up?! I twist my towel around me and stomp into my room.

“Well if you don’t care, I don’t care!” I sneer at my bedroom wall, that’s linked to his.

I pick my phone up and dial Luhan’s number. I need to talk to him. He’ll be able to tell me what I should think.

“Hello~” Luhan’s cheerful voice answers

“Luu, please come over!” I whine into my phone, hoping my pout can be heard in my voice.

Luhan chuckles softly.

“I’ll be right over, and I’ll bring some ice cream too”

We end the call, and I sit on my couch waiting for him to show up. Usually I’d just go over to Chanyeol’s apartment when I feel like this… and now I can’t even do that. How is that fair? I hate my stupid heart for loving him. I hate that I can’t even look into his eyes anymore, because I’m too afraid that he’ll see how I feel. There’s a knock on my door and I jump up and answer it.

“Lu!” I squeak, as I start to open the door.

“Uh… no?” Chanyeol’s gruff voice answers.

I look at Chanyeol in confusion, why is he here? He couldn’t have heard my grumbling, could he?

“C-can we just, go for a walk?” He asks, his face unreadable again.

I wasn’t used to him being like this. Why wasn’t he my big-happy-idiot-best-friend? Did the fight with her really upset him that much.

“You don’t have to… I just…” He looks at me his expression between crying and complete devastation.

“Chanyeol, what’s wrong?” I ask, my hand cupping his face.

“Ally… I – I’m sorry I have to go” He snaps back to his unreadable expression, and just runs off before I can grab him.

I run down the stairs, but he’s already gone. A very confused Luhan walks up to me.

“What’s up with Chanyeol?” He asks

I shake my head, nothing makes sense. Why was he acting like that? I look at Luhan, and despite what happened just now, I burst out laughing. Luhan was walking around in the streets, with his pyjamas on, and wearing slippers.

“Whaaat, you called me when I was already in my pyjamas!” He defends himself, pouting at my amusement.

We walk up to my apartment and start discussing what was going on with Chanyeol. But the moment I mention that I was with Kyungsoo, Luhan immediately jumped onto the couch, and forced me to tell him everything. He also asks for pictures of how I looked, but I inform him that I didn’t have any pictures. There was no way I’d take any, they’d hang it over my head for the rest of my life! Luhan takes out his phone and furiously types away. I try to peak at what he’s typing but he pushes me back, a naughty smile spread across his lips.

“Luuuuu~” I whine, trying to regain his attention.

He holds up his finger to shush me, and then a wide smile appears on his face. He looks at me his eyes sparkling.

“You looked so pretty!” He gushes

I look at him in confusion, how does he know how I looked?

“You honestly didn’t think that Kris wouldn’t take a photo?”

I gasp, when did Kris take a photo?! How can that guy always have his phone ready for pictures and videos?

“Kris always manages to take pictures doesn’t he?” I laugh, finally looking at the photo.

“You know… maybe you should always dress like this” Luhan murmurs softly.

I look at him quizzically, I mean sure I look prettier, but was it such a big issue if I don’t always dress like a girl?

“It’s just, maybe we could get you a boyfriend”

My forehead creases, and I glare at Luhan.

“I don’t want to change myself for a guy”

Luhan takes a deep breath and sighs.

“Okay, I thought that maybe you’d be able to attract Chanyeol’s attention if you dressed like this more often!”

I shake my head, looking down at my hands.

“He saw me… he didn’t even say anything, I really don’t think that he feels the same”

Luhan slings his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his chest.

“Well then he’s a complete idiot for not realising how great you are”

I put my arms around Luhan and just lie against him.

“But I’m in love with that idiot”

Luhan gently pushes me off of him, and pulls the tub of ice cream closer to us.

“Let’s eat to forget” He smiles, handing me my spoon.

“And forget what a pain in the love is” I laugh, clinking my spoon against his.

“Okay, this isn’t going to cut it” Luhan admits, after I spill all my emotions about Chanyeol.

He gets up from the couch and goes through my one kitchen cabinet. He pulls out a box of wine, and pours us both a tall glass.

“Drinking to forget?” I ask with a raised eyebrow

“Hell yeah, and no we’re not telling Kyung that we started drinking again” He grins, winking at me.

We finish the entire box of wine and grab another. Later on Luhan is passed out on my couch, and I’m between passed out and wasted. I stagger into my front door, and fall out into the hall. This is it I’m telling Chanyeol how I feel. I don’t care if he never speaks to me again. I have to tell him. I knock on the door, almost breaking it. Chanyeol opens the door, his expression shocked and then unreadable.

“Ally, are you drunk?”

“So what if I am? Do you even care?” I cry, slapping his chest.

At first the plan was that I just confess, but when I saw him, I thought about how he makes me feel, and how much it hurts that I feel like this. How is it fair that I feel like this and he doesn’t have to? I don’t care if this makes me sound selfish. I’m tired of keeping this in. I’m not going to let him be happy while I’m miserable!

“Of course I care! Come on let’s get you sober”

“No! Get your hands off of me” I grumble, pushing him away from me, “Do you know how much I hate you?”

His hands drop to his sides, and he stares at me, his face pained. I open my mouth. Now is the time that I tell him.