Groggily I slither out of bed, hissing at the scorching sun. Dragging my feet I enter the kitchen, where Chanyeol is making some French toast.

“Morning” He smiles happily, “I brought you some coffee” He nods to the cup of coffee on the counter.

“Hmm” I thank him, with a hug, before gratefully sipping the coffee.

Was that just a dream, or did Chanyeol actually say that he’s in love with me? I watch him, closely as he places the toast in a plate. He has been acting a little stranger lately, and he has been searching for the secret garden, which is said to be the number one spot for guys to propose… Wait. Is he going to propose to that sharp-nosed-two-faced-?! No. I will not give him my consent. There is no way I’m going to allow this! Then again… if she makes him happy, I should be happy for him right?

“Do you have any plans for today?” Chanyeol asks, sitting on the counter opposite from me.

I look up at him, as I take a bite of the French toast.

“Not that I know of?” I mumble

“Good! Then we’ll be hanging out”

I open my mouth, ready to argue, it’s not that I didn’t want to spend time with him. But I didn’t want him to think that he can make decisions for me, without even asking if it’s okay. He jumps off of the counter and places his hands on either side of me and leans in on me.

“Are you going to argue?”

I start to hyperventilate. Does he know what him being so close to me is doing to me right now? Can he not see that he is slowly killing me?

“N-no” I stutter, using all my willpower not to throw myself at him.

“Good” He smiles, patting me on the head.

He walks out of the kitchen to go take a shower and I stare after him, pouting slightly. He must have known that if he did that I wouldn’t be able to say no. Well it’s not like I would have. I eat the last of my French toast and drink my coffee. At least my hangover isn’t as bad as it was last time.  My phone rings loudly in Chanyeol’s room, and I run to get it.

Without even looking I storm into his room and run smack into him. My face against his wet, chest. He falls backward and I fall on top of him. Only a towel separating me and the rest of him. Our eyes meet and a little part of me dies. How can he have this effect on me? Those sparkly eyes, that were always filled with a childlike joy, was now filled with… something I’ve never seen before. It almost looked like it was lust, but that couldn’t be it right?

“So are you going to stay on top of me?” Chanyeol teases, after composing himself.

I open my mouth and close it. My brain unable to even process anything. I scramble off of him and sit on the ground across from him. A wave of shame washing over me. Luhan was right when he said I should meet new people. For a second I was tempted to kiss Chanyeol, and if I do that then everything will be over. I can’t lose my best friend because I couldn’t keep my emotions in check.

“I should go” I whisper softly, not looking at him.

“About this?” He asks.

He takes my face in his hands, his eyes looking directly into mine.

“Come on, it was just you being a clutz”

If only you knew… if he knew what was going on in my mind, he wouldn’t even think it was some accident.

“Allyyy~” He whines, pouting cutely.

My expression softens slightly and I flick his nose.

“Don’t try to act cute” I giggle

“I don’t have to try” He replies smugly

He gets up to his feet and helps me up.

“Let’s just hang out, okay?”

“Fine, but I’m going to go get dressed first” I sigh in defeat

A huge smile appears on his face and he kisses my forehead.

“Wear one of those new dresses of yours”

I walk into my apartment, and the moment I close my door, I squeal happily, slapping my hands together. So he did think I looked pretty! This is even better than Christmas! Singing happily, I start to look through my closet for the right dress, but I’m not sure which one will really wow him. I should message Kris… I feel around for my phone and realise it’s still in Chanyeol’s apartment. Ugh, looks like I have to decide on my own. After much consideration, I decide to take my light turquoise dress. I brush my hair and use my straightener to make them curl on the ends.

“Ally, you ready?” Chanyeol calls, as he enters my place.

I walk out of my room, biting my lower lip to force back an excited giggle.

“Ally… you look beautiful” He gushes

I look up at him, my cheeks turning pink. He closes the distance between us and takes my hand in his.

“Beautiful doesn’t even seem to cut it” He smiles, his eyes fixed on mine.

I stand on my tiptoes, this is it. This is the perfect moment to kiss him. I see his lips nearing mine. No… this is wrong. Even if I hate that woman I can’t be the girl he cheats on her with. I move my head to the side, and instead go for a hug. Chanyeol’s arms wrap around me and he hugs me back. I don’t know if he realised what I really wanted to do, and I don’t know how he would have reacted, but until he breaks up with her, I can’t kiss him.

“Thanks” I whisper, just hugging him will be enough.

We walk out of the apartment building and Chanyeol decides that we should go to the park. As we walk, our hands brush against each other. His one finger gets hold of mine, and soon he intertwines our hands. I shouldn’t allow this… but we did sometimes walk like this before. I’m not sure where I should draw the line, things have become harder for me since I really fell for him. When it was a crush I could still handle this but now that it’s more, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this up.

“What are you thinking about?” Chanyeol’s voice snaps me back to reality.

“I- uh nothing” I reply, avoiding his gaze.

“About a guy, maybe?” He teases, his eyes sparkling

Wide eyed I look at him. Does he know? No, he can’t possibly know… there’s no way.

“W-what guy?” I stammer

“Kyungsoo? I mean you two are together aren’t you?”

I guess I should come clean now… there’s no point in trying to make him jealous if he doesn’t even care. Then again, he did react strangely last time…

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice?”

Let’s hope he doesn’t notice my desperate attempt to find out if he really is jealous. Chanyeol looks at me intensely, his gaze causing goosebumps on my arms. Why is he looking at me like that?

“Maybe you did” He murmurs, and rubs the back of his neck.

He only rubs the back of his neck when he’s embarrassed… could he be telling the truth? I look into his eyes, unable to form the proper words. Unable to ask whether he really means it.

“Or maybe, you’re imagining it” He teases, poking my forehead with his finger.

My cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I rub my forehead. Silently muttering curses under my breath. How can he be so cruel?

I sit on the park bench, rubbing my hands together for some heat. Who knew that it would be so cold tonight? I really think our local weather man should be fired, I mean that guy cannot predict the weather even if his life depended on it.

“Give your hands to me” Chanyeol murmurs.

He encloses my hands between his and pulls it closer to his lips, slowly breathing onto my hands to warm them up. Silently I watch him… is this how it would be if we dated?

“Are you ever going to tell me what you think about when you zone out like that?”

My cheeks burn and I shake my head, it would just be suicide to tell him what I thought about.

“Just once?”

“Ah, I wouldn’t want to ruin your innocence” I tease, winking at him.

Chanyeol’s head snaps up, and he stops warming my hands.

“W-What? Are you having dirty thoughts?”

The moment I see his expression, I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter. His face was between confusion and seriousness, his eyes wide with innocence.

“Oh yeah” I answer, biting my lower lip.

Chanyeol’s eyes widen even more, and he blinks a few times. Apparently he wasn’t able to process anything. Honestly this guy was just all talk after all… but somehow it made him even cuter.

“Do you want to know about whom?” I coax, enjoying this too much.

He nods vigorously, unable to form any words. I pull my one hand out of his and point at him. His cheeks become a scarlet colour and he almost chokes on… well on air I guess? Ah, if he knew that this wasn’t a joke his reaction would probably be much worse wouldn’t it?

My phone starts ringing and I turn away from Chanyeol to answer it.

“Oh! Kyungsoo, I forgot to call you back earlier!”

I feel so terrible, he called me this morning (which resulted in me running into a Chanyeol ehehehe) and I never even called him back or texted him!

“Hey Al, it’s fine, but you have to make-“

Before I can even do anything, Chanyeol pulls my phone out of my hand.

“Hey Kyung. Listen we’re kinda in the middle of something, sorry, she’ll call you back whenever. See ya!”

Chanyeol ends the call and hands my phone back to me. I stare at him my mouth agape. He looks at me, his forehead creased.

“I don’t like him” He pouts, scrunching his nose in disgust.

“He’s your best friend” I point out.

“Yeeeah, well he’s dating you” He mumbles.

“So what if he is?”

“It’s just… I don’t like it”

Chanyeol takes my hands in his, and locks eyes with mine.

“He is an alcoholic, do you know that? He has no shame, and sometimes I think he is a bit too creepy”

I smack Chanyeol’s head.

“We’re not really dating” I grumble.

“Yeah, Kyungsoo is a great guy, best friend one can have” Chanyeol nods.

A giggle bursts from my lips. Did he really just do that? I guess he was jealous after all.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you two weren’t dating sooner?”

I on my thumb, how do I tell him? Do I make up an excuse? I nod my head, I have it.

“I just couldn’t tell you, so that I could see how believable it would be”

Chanyeol eyes me suspiciously. But fortunately he decides to drop it. A relieved sigh escapes my lips, it’s a good thing that he doesn’t pry on things.

“Why did it bother you?” I ask.

It wouldn’t hurt to know, it would actually be good for me to know where I stand with him.

“…I can’t explain it”

Chanyeol looks up at the sky, his eyes searching the stars for an answer. He looks back down at me, and brushes his hand through his hair.