(12:29 PM)

T: Kris, please don’t tell me that Baekhyun found the one because ChanYeol is starting on that crap and I’m annoyed by all his whiny text.

K: Okay, I won’t say he did.

T: How do you deal with someone annoying? I’m gonna freaking strangle him!

K: if you can reach him. He’s like my height.

T: I’m only a few centimeters shorter than you, what are you talking about?

K: so what’s the news like on your shop? Heard there was a robbery in the neighborhood.

T: They caught the guy. Even if he did try to steal from my shop, he wasn’t going to get any cash or ingredients. I keep all my closest and pantries locked up.

K: And the cash?

T: I keep it with me.

K: Is it to help your excessive Gucci collection?

T: That visit to the best store on Earth wasn’t that bad.

K: You were looking around the store with a limited product display for three hours. I didn’t appreciate three hours of my time being wasted like that.

T: but I bought you a new wallet!

K: I didn’t need the two hundred dollar wallet, Tao. I took it back and got refunded for it.

T: so where’s my cash?

K: you’re the one who wasted my time. Think of it as paying me as a bodyguard.

T: you’re mean. How about you give me half and I let you off on free bakery stuff for a month.

K: just because I visit your shop every morning before work, you think you can bribe me like that?

T: yes.

K: you’re lucky your stuff is good

T: haha. Hey, did I tell you Meilin won third place in her dance competition?

K: It was like, what, ballet?

T: hip hop. You won’t believe what happened.

K: quit changing subjects so fast.

T: this is still related to my niece. but guess who I caught her kissing?

K: I barely remember half of the kids I taught in China.

T: remember Taoshin?

K: ing no way! They’re going out?

T: apparently, Taoshin had developed a crush on Meilin after she punched him. She told me it was ‘love at first right hook’.

K: gosh, that will be their life story. He still doing martial arts?

T: wushu. Apparently after hearing about me, he wanted to try it. I went to one of his lessons since he was learning at the same school I did as a volunteer assistant teacher for a day. I have to say, he’s really advanced.

K: don’t fall for him. he’s much too young for you.

T: do I sense jealousy?

K: not at all. I’m just saying society doesn’t exactly approve of older men dating younger guys.

T: *eye roll* don’t worry. I’ll be sure to leave China without a criminal record. Now, how are things at school? Heard finals are coming up.

K: I hate preparing for the finals. It’s so much stress for the poor kids. Canada was so much easier, and I feel so bad for the kids for giving them homework. One of the kids passed out in the class next to mine out of pure exhaustion from studying.

T: I remember those days. I barely remember what I learned.

K: I see it pointless for all this studying, but they have to get through it.

T: As long as they pass, you should feel happy about it.

K: Nothing satisfies me more than seeing one of my kids understand something I taught them. It’s the best feeling ever.

T: I doubt it. probably feels better.

K: I have this sneaky suspicion that every time you bring up , you secretly want me to screw you

T: You found me out! Yes, Kris, I want to feel your small in my all night long!

K: Shut the up. Do us a favor and get laid over there in China. I don’t want you ‘pouncing’ on me out of ual frustration.

T: you know that was sent to the wrong person.

K: I doubt it

T: Kris, I don’t want to have with you!

K: Glad to know I’m your only friend that you don’t want to have with.

T: You're not the only one. I have plenty of friends I don’t want to have with.

K: That sounds like an insult. Even I feel insulted.

T: I’m logging. You’re disgusting.

K: No, I’m not. You’re secretly enjoying.

T: Bye Kris.

K: Don’t forget I want a souvenir ninja sword

T: Kris, you know for a fact that China doesn’t have ninjas!

K: Then buy me something cool... Like a knock off product, or food.

T: I’ll try to remember.

K: See ya, tao. Have fun in China!

T: Bye.

 

(6:12PM)

K: Okay, so ChanYeol was here in tears, and I have no clue why

T: how the hell did he find your apartment? you live near the school, which is on the other side of town!

K: don’t ask me. I’m just here being the awkward helper. He was saying stuff like how ‘she wasn’t the one’ and ‘I’m thirty-three, I can’t die young’. What the hell is he talking about?

T: Oh, he must’ve finally broken up with his girlfriend. Thank Buddha

K: he’s upset over that?

T: they were dating for a long time, but he believes she was cheating on him

K: hmm… yeah, that sounds like what he was saying. He was just going on, and on about it. He reminded me of Baekhyun

T: why, did he break up with his girl too?

K: Baek was like 125% straight until he saw this guy in the book store. But, he gets so freaking dramatic

T: wait, he likes guys now?

K: no, he likes the one guy. He doesn’t even know his name. It surprised me when he said that. He literally said ‘ women!’

T: well, that’s kind of the plan.

K: It was the plan.

T: Awe, you don’t want to settle down with a nice girl you can take home to your mom?

K: Nah. Ever since Lu Han, I was seeing more and more of how women were so ing irrational.

T: you won’t believe this, but some guys are irrational too.

K: I know that, but women are seriously annoying!

T: Too bad you aren’t flamboyantly gay. It’s like repellant.

K: I don’t think I can pull that off.

T: You considered it? That’s so funny!

K: No, Baek was talking how his high school forced him to dress up like a girl for a guy’s pageant and everyone was convinced he was gay. It made him laugh thinking I can pull off a dress.

T: That’s terrible! Yeollie did he same thing at his high school.

K: You know what, I’m actually think that Baek and Yeollie should meet.

T: Nah, ChanYeol’s at a fragile stage of his life. Just wait it off.

K: So, ChanYeol’s going mental, Baek is mental? It only seems like a perfect situation in my opinion.

T: Well, can you wait until I get back? We could go on a group date!

K: Oh, so now you want me? Finally admitting it?

T: Please. We could pretend like we’re setting each other up with the other. Like I’m there to date Baek, and your there to date Yeollie. It will be like first time they are meeting, yeah?

K: I rather watch them awkwardly behind a bush

T: Like in those dramas?

K: No. Just stalk them.

T: Just like in those dramas?

K: Sure, I guess.

T: We’ll have to see. But besides those two and their love issues, what’s the sitch on yours?

K: I didn’t go out on a date, per say. I met up with an old teacher friend from China, we went to have a few beers, danced in a club and made out a bit.

T: How is that not a date?

K: More like a fling. He was here to meet up with someone.

T: I’m disappointed in you. Why aren’t you the one getting laid? You’re obviously very handsome, tall, and even though you’re a sarcastic bastard, you have a kind heart. You’re picky with you men, aren’t you?

K: You ruined the moment with the ‘sarcastic bastard’ bit.

T: I’m not apologizing

K: I just think I’m not entirely over Lu Han. We were dating for six years; it’s not something I could forget in six months.

T: Ah, your the hopeless romantic type, huh?

K: No clue. Why? Wanna date me and find out?

T: sure, and then we could have wild crazy gay on the kitchen counters, and then get married, and have a bunch of kids so we could only do it on the dresser

K: I knew you wanted me

T: I don’t want to have with you, Kris! God.

K: No, you don’t want to have with me. You want wild crazy gay on kitchen counters and dressers

T: See, you are a sarcastic bastard.

K: Please, you love me and you know it.

T: I doubt our friendship now. I’m bi, your gay, which means I should be the predator and your the prey

K: I feel scared. You don’t scare me

T: really? Because I’m pretty sure when I nearly decapitated your arm after you scared me that one time says differently.

K: It took me by surprise

T: Sure it did

K: Have you gotten laid yet?

T: Why, want me to save myself for you?

K: You’re the one always bringing up .

T: Well, I met this cute college student from Korea, from the Seoul area. He was pretty nice, took me out a few times.

K: Was the great?

T: Of course it was. He wasn’t as big as other guys, but he did wonders with his tounge.

K: I’m getting sort of freaked out by this gay talk

T: I don’t see why. You’re gay.

K: But I don’t describe my life to you!

T: You asked!

K:  I asked if it was great. No other details.

T: Your no fun. At least girls understand me before they ask me to screw them too!

K: Please. New subject.

T: Fine. I developed a new cake design to add to my birthday collection.

K: A new design? As in only one?

T: Cake design is like fashion design. It takes a bit to be inspired.

K: Yes, but it gets to be eaten

T: I know you don’t understand the excitement of decorating a cake, but can you please just do me a favor and act interested?

K: whatever.

T: It’s a quad-flavor cake. On the bottom is chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and another strawberry. It’s covered with a white fondue, and decorated with sugar cherry blossoms and chocolate swirls.

K: Souns like a vanilla cake with chocolate strawberries.

T: Practically, but it tastes better! I was just watching my sister make a cake, and eat strawberries at the same time while I was chewing on a piece of chocolate when it came to me.

K: Now I’m kind of hungry.