"Hyung! Open the door! Our manager is looking for you, you're not answering your phone! He's worried about you,Hyung!" Junsu shouted at the front door a day after that "ramyun incident".

The truth was - I was stressed about what I heard. It explained a lot on why she was doing what she did.

I was devastated... 

Should i still pursue her knowing what I know ( okay okay i didn't hear more since she didn't say anything else besides the "time left" conversation.

But I really like her...

a lot...

Her more than a year of fangirling over me left a deep impression on me.

I always look for her during our fan signing events or I became so use to her that I always expect her to be there.

Whenever I sing for my fans - I always think that she's there and in my head I dedicate it for her.

And when an event or concert ends and i find out she wasn't there - I become disappointed and sad.

Is that still considered liking someone? Or is it something more?

"Hyung I'm gonna break down this door if you don't open the door." Junsu shouted again breaking my train of thoughts.

He looked relieved when I open the door.

"Hyung! what happened to you?" I turn my back on him walked away then flop myself on the couch looking at the muted television. He stood in front of me blocking the television.

"Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you if I can." he said. I sigh then finally turned the tv off. He sat on a chair and waited for me to talk.

"I... I think I've fallen for a dying person..." I said then looked down.

"Hyung are you serious? or is that a plot for a new drama?" When i didn't answer he stood up.
"This is serious! I need back up." he took out his phone and started calling people over.

An hour later.

Yoochun, Seunghyun, Junsu and Hyunjoong all stared and listened (all holding a bottle of beer each) as I tell the tale of my number 1 fangirl - Sandara Park.

When i said about the dying part , Seunghyun reacted immediately.

"She's not dying hyung..." he said and I looked at him feeling hopeful for a moment.

"Then why did she say she just wanted to enjoy the time she has left?" Yoochun asked.

"I'm not sure but she's not sick or even if she is, its not that serious. I mean, She's so into exercise a lot for two years now, you've seen her sns post right? And as far as I know she's always present for practices, concerts etc. If she's sick to the point of dying I don't think they'll be able to keep that secret for long at the company." he answered before taking a swig on his bottle.

"You really think so?" i asked.

"Positive hyung..." he answered.

"Do you think you can be able to verify that?" I asked.

"How?" Hyunjoong asked.

"From someone we're sure would know the situation..." Junsu answered.

"Bom- noona?" Seunghyun answered.

We all look expectantly at him - me because I really wanted the assurance that she's not dying and the other 3 (I guess) was just really curious too.

"I'll try... but don't expect too much, She's Dara noona's Bestfriend , sometimes she acts like a mother hen to her- its not gonna be an easy task to ask her to tell us Dara noona's secret." he answered before taking out his phone. "Where should I ask her to go?"

"Cofffee Cojjee." I answered.

------------------------

I was thankful when she agreed to meet Seunghyun - she wasn't aware that all 5 of us would meet her.