She came on every Music Show performance I did. 

Sometimes if she's busy and can't stay she just drops by to wish me goodluck and leave gifts or food project for me and my staff.

Maybe that's why some thought we were romantically linked.

I was very verbal on denying that we have a relationship - almost to the point that it seems like I don't find her worthy enough of my attention or to be dated by me (which was far from the truth...).

Junsu and Yoochun always gives me disappointed looks everytime I do that - well I'm giving myself one too.

I knew that she knew how I acted , but she takes it all in stride - she seemed to not care if I don't like her (... which i know by now she preferred), she's content to being just a fan.

Other idols saw her fangirling over me backstage ( since she can't stand with my fans at the audience area ) - and they seem to act either surprised, amused and some even awed ( the guts she have to be so verbal/showy of her admiration.)

She didn't pay attention to them - just on me.

By the end of my promotions - there was no one in the industry who didn't know she's my fan.

Some time in March - she followed me on twitter.

A lot of my fans reacted negatively but her fans defended her.

Others assumed a special relationship between us since there was no known occassion that we shared except for the MAMA 2009 stage.

When I didn't follow her , the speculations naturally died down but there are still other k-nets who are stil curious on our connection and still suspects something going on - there is but not what they think.

After my promotions , i saw her less and less since my schedule turned slow - no fanmeets, no concerts, no dramas etc.

But once in a while - once a week she never forgets to send me something.

Sometimes through my manager she sends to the company and sometimes she leaves them 
at coffee cojjee which I visit a lot.

When i miss her , I stalk her twitter or watch her old shows (like 2ne1tv and other tv guestings).

Not seeing her makes me want to finish new songs for JYJ and for me so we can actively promote again.

Good news came when they decided that I'll be releasing a repackaged album of "I" - now "Y".

So I did my best to do the new songs to be added.

This album means I'll see her a lot again.

And then news of their comeback started going out - CL came out with "the baddest female" and they said 2ne1 as a whole will promote after.

When teasers came out for their "Falling in Love" promotions - I was at lost for words when I saw her picture.

She is so beautiful.

I was proud she is my fan - I wanted it to be something more but since I still haven't found out her reasons , I didn't act on my feelings fearing it w