Kim jaejoong here again... Where did I left off on my story?

Oh yes - Sandara Park...

So as a recap - she went to some of my fansigning events, JYJ concerts and some of on locations for  "Dr. Jin". 

Of course those are almost in secret like I said, sometimes the only time I would know she was there is when she gives something to my manager or I see her face to face. 

I don't know why but I didn't let Junsu or Yoochun know - my manager must have followed my lead and never mention it too in front of them - that she's my fan ( She always goes straight to me when asking for signatures )- How did I know? there are no other signature on the CD or poster she makes me sign.(Meaning she skips Junsu and Yoochun!)

And again that made me feel somewhat much special.

And the truth was everything she did as my fan endeared her more to me ...

And you know how I always say that I might marry a fan...

well you can take a guess on what crossed my mind.

I planned on getting any way to contact her - get to know her better.

One way I thought of- with Seunghyun, but he was busy with their "Alive" concerts so he was in and out of the country most of the time ( I wanted to get Dara's number from him personally so he'll know i'm sincere.) But didn't get the chance to talk about it with him... so ...

to option number two.

second way was through my manager when she comes to give something again - but my manager always get star-struck and tongue-tied when they meet so .... it was a fail.

third way...

I was just waiting for an opportunity to personally ask it from her.

At one of the year end drama & movie awards show (MBC drama Awards ) I have a feeling she'll come. I was nominated for best new actor and I just have a good feeling that night.

Then I saw her previous Ideal type - Wonbin, in one of the tables inside the venue. He was to present an award.  He's a really manly guy - even from a guys perspective. 

No wonder Dara liked him (past tense!) but I did wonder why Dara suddenly stopped naming him as her ideal man. Did she find out a weird behavior he has , bad hobbies or personality? 

After the award ceremony there was an after party but before going there I decided to go to the open space designated by the award committee for celebrities to be able to smoke privately. I figured to smoke now rather that at the after party.

I thought about her again and wondered if she's here ( I've been wondering a lot that night I noticed. =>) 

My phone vibrated indicating I have a text message and I immediately read it. Just two words I never thought would make me feel like winning an award again.

"She's here" My manager sent.

I quickly typed - "If there's a way make it possible for her to