*Chapter 19

Sometimes, people standing at an intersection, deciding which road to go. The shorter one, or the longer one with a beautiful view. Some choices are easy to take, just as easy as deciding whether to put some whipped cream on your Frappuccino, or leave it just like that. But there are a lot of hard choices around a person. Choices that need a lot of thought, before it is taken as a decision. Because what we need isn’t always what we want, and what we want isn’t always what we need. Life is all about choices, and Kim Jongin is confronting the hardest choices in his life.

The man can’t think of anything right at the moment. It is like he puts his happiness on his two hands, but he is simply just allowed to own one home, and drop the other one. Jongin pulls the doctor’s collar and pushes him to the nearest wall. His dad rushes to stop him doing any reckless thing.

“Please, you need to save them both, doctor!” His hands were still on the doctor’s collar before his dad finally pulls him away.

The doctor asks the man to go with him to his office, and kindly asks him to calm down since his wife is handled professionally by the team. Jongin sits down on a cold metal chair, trying to calm his breath. The doctor starts to explain his wife’s condition. Naturally, a baby would do rotations inside the mother’s womb. But here, the baby is really active and keeps changing his position. Basically, the baby will return to its original position when the birth time gets close. But for Nara’s case, it is not. It is about two weeks earlier than the doctor’s prediction. The baby’s active activity brought a lot of pain on Nara. The timing is wrong. It isn’t time for the birth, yet. Right at the moment, the baby’s position is in reverse. His head is upside when it should be downside. And because his active moves, the umbilical cord coiled around the baby’s neck, causing the baby to meet difficulty of breathing.

“So why did you bring me here, go and save my wife!” Jongin shouts and slams the table in front of him.

“Sir, please I need you to calm down. I need to inform you that we can’t do the surgery straight away since your wife’s condition is really dangerous. We don’t want to risk her life. Your wife lost a lot of strength. Her heartbeat isn’t stable and dangerously low. If we do the surgery, I’m afraid she can’t survive through the process. But then if we don’t do the surgery, your baby is at risk. The umbilical cord coiled around the baby’s neck, and now he becomes passive. The baby didn’t even react to our stimulus.”

“Then what are you going to do?” Jongin asks him. His eyes stare into blank space. “Please, doctor, I beg you to save them both.” His voice is so soft the doctor barely hears it.

“We will do our best to save them. I just need you to know that although the probability is really low, we are still going to do the surgery because it’s the only way to save them. But I definitely need your help, please follow me.”

The man drags his legs, following the doctor. Before he reaches the surgery room, a couple suddenly rushes to Jongin when they saw him. His mother and father in law have arrived when he had the talk with the doctor.

“Son, where’s my daughter? Is she okay?” Nara’s mother asks him. Her voice is so calm, but Jongin could hint the worried and scared tone behind it.

“I’m going to see her, Mom.” The older wipes the tears stain on his cheek gently. “Please pray a lot for her…” He sobs. “I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose her, Mom.” Jongin is sobbing even harder. The older engulfed him on a hug and patting his back.

“Nara is a strong woman, you know that, right? She will be okay.” She pulls away from the hug and now cupping his cheeks. “Go, Nara needs you.”

Jongin nods his head and slowly walks approaching the doctor. The doctor opens a pair of door where he went out from earlier. The nurses rushed to the doctor and helped him wearing the surgical gown and the scrubs gloves. Another nurse comes to Jongin and asks him to wear the clothes handed to him properly. She helps him a bit, then after he is done, the nurse gestures him to come inside, going through one more door.

Jongin takes a step inside carefully. It is the first time he has been there, the surgery room. His eyes immediately search for someone he’s longing to see. It wasn’t even a day, but it felt like years. The man ignores the sterile smell of the room that strongly pricking his nose. He follows where the beeping sounds come from. And he found her there. His heart is aching, seeing his wife lying on the bed. Her eyes are closed, looked so lifeless.

There’s a soft voice echoes, calling her name. It’s really soft she almost missed it. So soft just like a morning breeze. So soft like a snowdrop calmly falls on the frozen ground. She stops her breath because the only thing she could hear is her own breathing. She stops her breath so that she could hear the vague voice clearly. Yes, it’s calling her name. Again and again. It's probably come from a place afar from there. She spins around, trying to find a glimpse inside this light white place. She searches the source of the voice. The girl runs, runs, and runs without knowing where to go. Everything is white and she can’t find the end of that… room, probably. She just follows the voice. She runs, and she knows she is getting closer to whatever calling her name.

“Nara… sweetheart, wake up…” Jongin whispers on her ear desperately. He holds her hand tightly. His hands are trembling, knowing his wife is probably standing on the edge between life and death. He knows she is still breathing. He still has some hopes. “Honey, please come back. I need you. I need you Nara, please…” Jongin keeps calling her name for nth time.

“Nara…” His voice starts shaking. The tears that have been held all this while succeed on breaking his wall. Without he realizes, they already streamed down his cheeks.

“Doctor!” “Pulse increase, heartbeat stable, blood pressure up to 70.”

“Sir, please keep calling her. It’s working. She heard you.” The doctor says to Jongin with a reassuring tone.